Originally Posted by xxbxbunnixx
Ok i love this boy so much and we are supose to get married and i just found out that he has been doing drugs for a long time, cuz he stole 800 dollars for coke and it pisses me off sooooooo bad because we went through this before and i feel like and idiot because he has been lieing to me i want to just plain out tell him that if he lies to me or does drugs again im going to leave him which hurts me so bad but i dont want to threatin him and get him mad but how do i say it to him and am i wrong about leaving?
You love him - that is all right - but first of all you must love yourself. If you stay with this man, unless he changes and that is a very difficult thing to happen, you are heading toward trouble. And it is not only about the drugs, it is also about the lying and stealing.
You are not wrong about leaving him if you can clearly see the bleak future ahead of you. If it's about love, I'm sure love will come your way again soon, if you only go to the right places. But, if I get it right, the main problem for you is how to tell him without sounding threatening and getting hurt yourself.
Possibly you'll need the intervention of someone else: a friend or a member of your own family. Anyway, your strategy must be telling him that you are not the right person for him, and not the other way round. That is, you don't need to humiliate him. Say that you have changed recently, have changed your mind about some of the things you had been planning together. If you had said you wanted kids, now you are no longer sure about this. If you had said you wanted to be a homemaker, now you feel you'd like to work and make money. If you had said you wanted to marry, now you are questioning marriage and would rather stay free... etc. Say that these things have been going on in your head for some time now, but you didn't know how to express them to him, etc. You must find a way to tell him your decision without sounding too tough, too harsh, too cruel, but it's just all right if he gets the message that you are a rather "unstable" person.