Originally Posted by soulster
Me and my husband have been trying to have a baby for quite some time. Around mid october I told him that I would be ovulating on the 29th... and he was not in the mood on the 28th or 29th, the two days I calculated I would be most fertile, ovulation time. Anyway, so that made me mad. I am 33 and he is 36 and we are not so young for him to not be in the mood. I dont know, am I being unfair. He got equally mad at me and told me I am trying to force him into having sex when he doesnt want it.
Your being 33 and your husband being 36 makes this the ideal period of your life to become parents - not too young, not too old. But I don't think you have to hurry. There is still some tolerance for both of you (my first kid was born when I was 45!), and you shouldn't make this conception into a duty, let alone into a battle. If a (young) man is eating well, sleeping well, earning well, in one word, healthy and not stressed, I think he will always be in the mood.
So something must have happened to him so he didn't feel to be in the mood. Don't be angry with him, because if he had complied, he might have failed, if you see what I mean. And his failure would have added to your frustration. Ok, he knew about your date, so he should have prepared himself in advance, but maybe he simply forgot about it (men forget things easily, you know). I am not excusing him, but just trying to understand what happened...
Maybe you shouldn't be having sex only with this kid in mind. This makes sex a little bit too mechanical. You must not forget about foreplay and pleasure as a whole objective.
Angry words were apparently said from both sides. Angry words reverberate longer and are a heavy toll on the couple's life. I hope both of you can say you are sorry for what was said and next time around will not choose to say angry words. It is always safer to make questions rather than an accusation.
Best to you.