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Old 11-16-2006, 06:57 AM   #1
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Sleeping with dogs...literally!

I'm primarily looking for the opinions of those that allow their dogs to sleep in or on their bed with them, but other responses are welcome. My girlfriend allows her dogs to sleep on/in the bed with her. Initially when we first started sleeping together, they weren't up there, but slowly they have worked their way onto the bed, first at the foot, then between your legs, and now right between us, as if they are another person. She said she has always allowed them to sleep with her. They are small dogs (under 15 pounds), but their presence is still evident throughout the night. The other night we had to stop in the heat of passion so she could put the dogs on the floor...that was romantic (her words), especially when one of them put their muzzle right in my crotch! Yuck!! It threw everything off.

I wasn't raised to sleep with my pets. I love animals and I really like her dogs, but I am there to be with her, not sleep with her dogs. We discussed it last night (she brought it up before I was able to) and she realizes she needs to break them of the habit. I was grateful she saw how it affected me, although i still feel bad, as I know what her dogs mean to her. However, I just don't see why she felt the need to allow them up there in the first place when they weren't up there with us initially. Furniture is for people, not animals, am i not correct? Likewise the bed is for us, and only us... We are affectionate with each other and we sleep very close (when the dogs aren't present), so why does she need the extra company of her dogs when i am there.

Like I said, this was not allowed when I grew up, but we still loved our dogs and considered them a part of the family. I've also been through extensive puppy and dog training classes and seminars, and allowing your dogs on furniture also goes against everything I've heard and what they teach. Am I wrong? Someone please explain this to me and why you feel one way or the other about it. And no, I don't have fleas...yet!

Last edited by Smokey Bear; 11-16-2006 at 12:05 PM.

 
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Old 11-16-2006, 07:00 AM   #2
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

I believe you are wrong.....and I had this same problem with my last EX boyfriend.......(note that I said EX)
My dog is my baby, and he slept in the bed for 13 years, and I wasn't going to kick him out towards his senior years because some new boyfriend didn't like it......so I got rid of the boyfriend instead......
you've been warned.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 07:32 AM   #3
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

I had a similar issue when I was gone on business for over a month. My husband decided to let our rather large dog sleep with him every night while I was gone. When I finally got home we were ready for hot passion, and all I got was a mouthful of dog hair and whiskers sniffing my feet! After the third night of spooning with the dog and not my husband, I went and slept on the couch. My husband got the idea, and stopped letting the dog on the bed. Within a week she stopped jumping on the bed when it is bedtime.

I think a relationship is about compromise. Your GF has admitted that the dogs should really be on the floor, so an agreement with when and where the dogs should be on the bed is the only issue. Training takes time and dedication, but you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 07:40 AM   #4
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz
I believe you are wrong.....and I had this same problem with my last EX boyfriend.......(note that I said EX)
My dog is my baby, and he slept in the bed for 13 years, and I wasn't going to kick him out towards his senior years because some new boyfriend didn't like it......so I got rid of the boyfriend instead......
you've been warned.
Many, many dog trainers believe that allowing your dog to sleep on your bed indicates submissivness from the owner ( otherwise, the dog will rule the relationship). Personally, I don't want my dog ruling the house or deciding who my boyfriend is.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 07:55 AM   #5
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

I have a little cocker spaniel and she sleeps on my bed at the end of the bed. I disagree with dog trainers that it makes them think you are submissive to them as my dog listens quite well to me and looks to me as her master. When my husband and I are intimate the dog is out of the room totally.

You say "the woman I am with" instead of my girlfriend, fiancee, wife? How long have you been together? If you only stay over occasionally then maybe she can have them sleep on their own doggy bed since it bothers you. The dogs should not be in the room when you are intimate so put them in another room. As far as her changing her whole lifestyle over a guy that says she is "the woman he is with" - she really shouldn't have to. If you become a more significant part of her life then you can request total changes but for now you really don't have that right.

When you are a significant 24hr a day live in - or are you now? then just go out an buy the dogs a doggy bed and train them to sleep in it - in another room. Start by putting a treat in the bed and place them directly in it and walk away and close the bedroom door. You may have some crying and whining for a few nights but it will eventually stop. If there are two dogs then they should keep each other company.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 07:56 AM   #6
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertdweller
Many, many dog trainers believe that allowing your dog to sleep on your bed indicates submissivness from the owner ( otherwise, the dog will rule the relationship). Personally, I don't want my dog ruling the house or deciding who my boyfriend is.
that's mainly in the beginning when they are puppies.....when they are still learning that they are not the boss.....if you let them sleep with you they will think you are their littermate and will be struggling for dominance/control.....

that is NOT after rank has already been established and they are adults.

My dog didn't decide who my boyfriend was.....I decided who I DIDN'T want it to be......

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:03 AM   #7
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

I had that problem with cats and my BF...I live with my BF so this is my house too and after night after night of no sleep...I finally just made my BF close the door and keep them out. You can't lose sleep over having a dog in the bed with you...they can be trained to either stay on the end of the bed or stay off the bed...unlike cats that just don't get it PERIOD!

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:13 AM   #8
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

I have pets too, but they never sleep in my bed. Cats and dogs both leave hair all over the bedding, and dogs leave a distinct doggie odor. They don't belong there.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:13 AM   #9
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

the bottom line is......
the dog lives there.......
YOU DON'T

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:25 AM   #10
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

Hi Smokey Bear

Well I guess your going to get alot of differing strong opinions here, but heres mine.

I love animals, have always had pets, when I was a kid I used to adore my cat sleeping on my bed, but thats about it.

As far as having dogs in your bed, sorry but my opinion, thats where I would draw the line. Dogs are animals after all, we wouldn't choose to sleep in their beds, eat off their plates etc, you have to draw the line somewhere, and I agree it isn't romantic to say the least.

I think your girlfreind is recognising that whilst she was single this was fine for her, but now she has to consider you and how you feel about it - after all she obviously wants you to stay doesn't she?

As much as you love animals I am sure, you are right to feel uncomfortable about having them amongst you in bed, and if she values your opinion she will want to compromise.

Afterall people love their children, but would they want them in their bed all the time?

My opinion, good luck

Last edited by brook65; 11-16-2006 at 08:25 AM.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:33 AM   #11
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

Quote:
Originally Posted by brook65
As far as having dogs in your bed, sorry but my opinion, thats where I would draw the line.
that's where the problem is.....it's NOT HIS bed.....
like I told my ex-BF....it's my house, my bed and my dog......what don't you understand?

he doesn't have the right to demand anything in a place where he doesn't live, doesn't pay the bills, doesn't clean/maintain, etc.......
he can do whatever he wants in his own house.....he can make all the rules in his own house.....
don't you know that he who has the gold, makes the rules?

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:40 AM   #12
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz
that's where the problem is.....it's NOT HIS bed.....
l

Oh come on - I don't mean in the literal sense ok then her bed, that he sleeps in.

With all respect, this guy doesn't come across to me as being someone who is demanding anything - he is just asking for opinions, on how others would see it

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:45 AM   #13
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

he's being disrespectful to her and her dog....in her house and her bed.....
yes it is her bed.....does he pay the bills?
what right does he have to make the rules in someone elses house?

 
Old 11-16-2006, 09:33 AM   #14
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

*She* brought up the fact that she saw it made him uncomfortable and said she agrees that they probably don't need to be in bed with them.

He's not demanding anything, she's being a thoughtful, caring *partner* in this relationship and I actually think that's pretty cool - that she's willing to compromise.

I adore my pup, but she isn't allowed on our furniture. She's perfectly content on her own bed in the other room, and sleeping by our feet near the couch.

But my dog isn't a person, and while I do know a few people who view dogs as people/children, I can't really understand it. Actually my husbands mother has always been very close to animals (she trains dogs for the blind, and did seach and rescue with her close companion dog for years) but she never allowed them in bed with she and her husband.

Anyway... Smokey, while I agree that it's weird to have dogs sleeping between you two, I think it's great that this woman recognizes that you are important to her and that them sleeping in the bed is not as important as you. It means she definitely has a devotion and connection to you that is evident. She's not dissing her dogs by saying it's time for them to sleep in their own bed, because I doubt she loves them less for doing it but she's also respecting you at the same time.

Good gal you got there!!

 
Old 11-16-2006, 11:37 AM   #15
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Re: Sleeping with dogs...literally!

I know some people think dogs are people...don't get me wrong...I absolutely love dogs...but HELLO...a dog in your crotch while you are making love...NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's just sicko!!!!!!!

Last edited by ILYF; 11-16-2006 at 11:38 AM.

 
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