Senior Veteran (female)
Join Date: Jan 2005
i am in a life predicament and don't know who to talk to or what to do, and although it doesn't really have anything to do with relationships, i figured i can get some good advice here and brainstorm enough to maybe get some ideas.
i am at a crossroads in my life and i want to decide what to do because i am in a transition period and want to get out.
i have a degree in psychology and a full time job in elite property insurance. for almost a year after i graudated, i looked for a job in my field but found out that you cannot do anything with a BA in psych in Canada - not even get very good volunteer positions (for the ones i was interested in, you need to be 25 years old and/or have set hours which i couldn't do b/c i was in retail and couldn't make set hours, or i would lose shifts and not have money to pay rent). i worked for a bit in the travel industry but did not make enough/month to pay my rent/food (let alone any expenses on top of that) for one the month and so, naturally, i was in debt. to top it off, i was 22 and not highly responsible with money at that point, so up went my debt. i had to get three jobs and worked 90 hrs/week and went to school part-time to get under control. i did this for 7 months.
anyway, soon after i got the job in insurance and it pays well and has good perks. i was able to quit a job. i went on a budget, and am currently paying back student loans, my debt, and a highly expensive rent - but i literally live paycheck to paycheck and have an empty fridge many days out of the month. i stopped going to bars and don't go shopping, and don't have luxuries (like haircuts, fruit,etc). but i'm doing it. i work 60 hrs/week and take two courses.
however, i feel like i never get a break. all 4 of my best friends i grew up with have got their lives worked out well and are in a career path they have passion for; two do entertainment things on the side (modeling) and i am so happy for them, but they literally were called out of nowhere to do it. they call me with the happy news and i am worried about how i am going to feed myself next week.
my best friends moved to the states a few months ago (with a BA in psych) and within 2 days was hired as a case manager. its crappy income, but shes doing what she wants and her boyfriend makes really good money so that softens the blow. she told me before she left, she didn't want to stay here and get a job in insurance like i had to. she made me feel guilty that i sold out of my psych plans, but i couldn't afford not to (I don't have a work visa for the states, plus i couldn't live there with that income w/o monetary supprt plus the only family i have is here and they would kill me if i left for a crappy job like that...they are not really into humanitarian work. my best friend has family all over the states and are super supportive of her doing what she wants).
anyway, so my dilemma now is:
a) go on to get my psychology masters in september, which means i will have to move back to my parents to finish paying off my debt before i go. this means i will be moving back to a suburban town i haven't lived in for 6 years, i can't drive so i will be literally dependant on my other family members to get out of the house. i will have to commute to work, i won't have my own space, and my parents are very traditional and conservative, so i feel i will be stifled and get depressed easily if i move back. and going to school in september means living a student life again, and i haven't even gotten out of it totally yet. all the friends i still have in school advise me to take time off. my parents don't support the field of psych i want to get into.
b) if i stay here, i can do a 2 year nutrition course (part-time so i can still work full time) in september that i know i wouldn't do if i did my psych course first because i would go further into psych for my PhD. i may also be able to get some art shows in as well, and hopefully sell some work (i'm a painter). BUT that means i would still be in insurance, something that is not what i want to do forever and it means i will have to buy a condo b/c the monthly rent i pay is equal to a mortgage, and its a waste. now to buy a condo, i would have to borrow money from the parents for a down payment, which sets me in more debt and ties me to this city. if i get really used to and comfortable with the money/perks at my job, i am scared i will stay there forever. i am catching myself beginning to think its an okay career choice. thats scary.
and if i borrow the money, i have to lie to my parents and say i want to stay in insuance (their primary reason for not giving me anything so far is that i am unstable and haven't decided what i really want), and i am unsure if i should do that (i know for sure condos in my city are easy to sell because they can't build anymore, so if i move for school, i'm sure i can sell it fine). if i ask for money for a downpayment and tell them i'm going to school in a couple of years, i know they will say no.
anyway....i don't know what to do at all....i am lost. like i said, i have no one to talk to. my best friend moved and hasn't stayed in touch well, my parents, obviously i can't talk to them, i don't want to tell my coworkers whom i've come close to b/c i would never want any of this to leak at work, i got rid of a bunch of toxic friends in my life this year, its a big burden to other friends (who say do what i think is right, but i need a little more right now).....
i just am in need of advice, i really feel alone and confused.
thank you in advance
Last edited by jozi209; 11-26-2006 at 09:43 PM.