Want to move on but to shy...what to do...ideas - Relationship Health Message Board

Tiff208 · 12-09-2006, 10:08 AM

Hi...I am really stumped...I have been out of my long term (over 7 years) relationship for 6 months now. I am not really ready to jump into a new relationship but would certainly like to get my feet wet again.However, I am really very shy (alot of people don't know that about me) I have been basically been cut off from any kind of social life for a long time b/c my ex really didnt leave me much of my old identity...there was him and only him...I didn't have friends very little contact with my family and I kind of lost my identity in that time not to mention I used to be very thin and shapely and considered a very attractive girl ( I never had any trouble having men ask me out)now I have gained weight I am not so confident and feel a little insecure with myself and starting over. I am 32 and would really like to get married someday and possible have a baby. I don't want to even think about that now but I could use some ideas on where to start. This feels very strange to me.Please help.

Kszan · 12-09-2006, 04:28 PM

I think you need to concentrate first on getting back your identity and realize who you are. You're not in any position to start dating again yet. Right now your focus needs to be on you, and you alone, because you are really in a position now where you could be making some really positive changes in your life. This is your time to do things that will benefit you in the long run and allow you to become the person you want to be.

You may even get over your shyness, once you build up your confidence again. The important thing is not to rush it. Take your time and realize that all that you do is for your benefit and for the good of what's to come in your future.

And don't be so quick to get re-involved with anyone else until you have yourself figured out first. If you get into another relationship too soon, you're not going to make any more progress on your own, to be your own person.