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Vyberfox 03-05-2007 12:53 PM

Jealous girlfriend
 
Hi everybody. I'm a 20 year old and I've been together with my girlfriend for 2 years. Everything is going smoothly except for two things. We don't really have a lot of common interests. It's a lot of times we do stuff on our own. This is something we can manage with though, and isn't really my problem. My problem is that she tends to get very jealous. She can have nightmares about me having sex with one of my female friends and then almost act as if I had done it.

Furthermore, one girl in particular I get along with extremely well. It's not really love between us (I don't know if she feels the same for me), but if she wouldn't have her boyfriend and if I wouldn't have my girlfriend we could probably have been together. Of course, none of us are going to cheat on our partners ever, we respect our relationships greatly and would never dream of hurting someones feelings. But since I get along with her so very well I spend a lot of time with her and my girlfriend always finds this troublesome.

In short. I like to spend time with this girl, but my girlfriend has always been my top priority. If my girlfriend wants to have me home and I want to go out with my friend I've always stayed home with my girlfriend. I want her to stop being jealous and trust me (she says she trusts me but doesn't act accordingly). I want a healthy relationship. Please help me!


Edit: I talked to my girlfriend. We sorted everything out. To all of you I must say you didn't really help. Not like I thought atleast. Everything you wrote made me think. This is what happened. I'm even stronger bonded to my girlfriend now. And also, my friendship with this girl I mentioned is also stronger. I don't have THE feeling for her. If things had gone differently in the past then maybe. But today, no. I can see that most of you sided with my girlfriend, don't blame you. But of the two of us I have made a lot of sacrifices. She doesn't have a lot of friends and spends less than 5 hours with them a week. I spent lots of time with my friends, but not as much anymore, she demands me to be home a lot. I've cut back on everything I love to do because of her, because I love her and want her to be happy. So don't come and say anything suggesting I don't care about her. I deserve her as much as she deserves me.

Probably never a lonely Fox

rosequartz 03-05-2007 01:37 PM

Re: Jealous girlfriend
 
sounds like your girlfriend is aware of your feelings toward the other girl......I can't really blame her for being jealous/insecure over your feelings for a girl you admittedly would be with if either one of you weren't attached to others.

ILYF 03-05-2007 02:01 PM

Re: Jealous girlfriend
 
Just from the little bit you've told us...I wouldn't trust you...you are sittin' here telling us that you are interested in another woman...what the heck! And from experience..."never say never"...if the right situation comes up with this other woman...you'd possibly cheat! This is coming from a former "I'd never" person that did.

try-ink 03-05-2007 04:29 PM

Re: Jealous girlfriend
 
I don't even know if we can help......

Off couse.........I'll be jealous.....if I were in your Girlfriend shoe.
I mean...my boyfriend get alone with his friend(girl) he likes spending time with her. Who wouldn't be jealous, right?

How about "open relationship"--I have heard that it have worked.

Lady_Mia 03-05-2007 10:09 PM

Re: Jealous girlfriend
 
Your g/f is not a stupid woman, she is very aware of your feelings. My ex did the very same thing, you know what happened? He dumped me to be with this "amazing" girl. You know what happened atfter? He came back a week later.... she didnt seem that amazing anymore, so we tryed to work things out, but I ended up leaving him a few days after b/c if he would dump me once for another woman, he would do it again. I ddint trust him anymore.

Now to the advice, it sounds like you want to stay with your g/f. Now ask yourself, do you love her as "in love," or love her like a friend. This other girl, it could be just infactuation. Or what I have heard from others, she reminds you of something you and your g/f had before but not at the present time, or the way she used to be. Its possible you want more from your current relationship and this girl is portraying what you want. Maybe your just not happy with your relationship. Have you both ever considered sitting down and talk about your needs and wants in this relationship, since the both of you have been dating for 2 years, there had to be something to bring the both of you together, whether it was a hobby, same taste in movies or music, books, tv shows, clothes, etc. My current b/f and I are opposites, he loves acting does modeling, etc. I like to be at home and i'm pursuing a degree in psychology. He is a business man, i'm more of the care giver. He is mean more than half of the time with people, I'm very nice. He is modern, I am a traditionalist. What brought us together? We both had an interest in martial arts, and we decided we were soul mates when we both found out we knew about an old cartoon show nobody seems to remember it existed. You can be very different from each other but find little things here and there for connections and fall madly in love. All the time you are spending with this other woman could be time for you and your g/f to reconnect and work your problems out to make the relationship work.

In some cases, it could be that you need your time to grow and so does she and it would be better if you both were single to get your prioritys straight and realize what exacty you want in life and in your relationships.

happymom28 03-06-2007 02:42 PM

Re: Jealous girlfriend
 
[QUOTE=Vyberfox;2838099]Furthermore, one girl in particular I get along with extremely well. It's not really love between us (I don't know if she feels the same for me), but if she wouldn't have her boyfriend and if I wouldn't have my girlfriend we could probably have been together. Of course, none of us are going to cheat on our partners ever, we respect our relationships greatly and would never dream of hurting someones feelings. But since I get along with her so very well I spend a lot of time with her and my girlfriend always finds this troublesome.[/QUOTE]

Can't say I blame your girlfriend for being jealous. Heck, if you weren't with her and your "friend" didn't have a boyfriend then you would be free to be together, right?

What you need to ask yourself here is why are you with your girlfriend? Is it a matter of convenience? If your "friend" and her boyfriend broke up and she pursued you what would you do? I think you need to be fair and consider your girlfriend's feelings here. If your heart isn't with her then level with her and let her find someone else who cares for her the same way.


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