It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-06-2007, 09:44 AM   #1
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kansas
Posts: 481
Sillygirl554 HB User
In love with my husband but cannot stop thinking about other man

Hi everyone,

I have been married to my husband for 4 years, about a year ago I had an affair, long story, but thankfully my husband forgave me and I am back home with him and as happy as I could be. We are trying to have a baby and life could not be better. My problem is, I keep thinking of this other man, the one that I had an affair with. He is on my mind all the time, I did have very strong feelings for him but not anymore so I do not know why I keep thinking about him. What can I do to forget about this man and move on with my life. I am so happy with my husband, I just want to get this other guy off my mind. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Silly

 
Old 03-06-2007, 10:05 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 1,045
desertdweller HB User
Re: In love with my husband but cannot stop thinking about other man

Maybe you haven't fully understood the underlying reason you had the affair to begin with? Most women don't cheat purely out of lust, usually there is an ulterior motive behind the action.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-06-2007, 10:39 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: In love with my husband but cannot stop thinking about other man

What was the reason you had the affair? Was something missing in your relationship with your husband? Was it purely physical? I'm thinking whatever the reason is that you strayed hasn't been completely resolved. Did the two of you seek counseling together?

I know your husband forgave you what happened. I'm thinking maybe you need to talk to someone about the thoughts you are having. Try to get to the route of it so it doesn't happen again. Maybe you are under a lot of stress trying to conceive so it's making your mind wander to when sex was for pleasure, ie., this other guy? I don't know. Maybe you should seek some counseling on your own to try to work through all the feelings you are having.

 
Old 03-06-2007, 11:07 AM   #4
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kansas
Posts: 481
Sillygirl554 HB User
Re: In love with my husband but cannot stop thinking about other man

The reason for the affair was due to the fact that my husband and I could not have a child. When we found that out he pushed me away and our marriage starting falling apart. I met this other man who I was able to talk to about all my problems and he conforted me and I started to fall in love with him, he was giving me what my husband was not, love, affection, conpanionship. Once I left my husband I knew I wanted him back and fought like hell to get him and finally did. We have both gotten counsiling and things seem to be fine. I guess part of me still misses this other man. My husband now gives me everything he wasn't before and I am happy but I just cannot get hiom off my mind. I am always wondering what if? I do not want to wonder what if anymore. I just this would of never have happened

 
Old 03-06-2007, 11:30 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: In love with my husband but cannot stop thinking about other man

I remember you now. I'm glad that you and your husband seem to be doing a lot better. Are you still going to counseling?

Maybe you are affraid of your husband shutting you out again so you are continuing to have thougths of the other guy as a way of protecting yourself? How long ago did you end it with him? I'm sure all the stress and hormones related to your ttc is making your mind wander to all different places. I think that you should continue to go to counseling (if you are not) so you are able to try to resolve the affair and put it to rest.

Good luck!

 
Old 03-06-2007, 11:37 AM   #6
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kansas
Posts: 481
Sillygirl554 HB User
Re: In love with my husband but cannot stop thinking about other man

My affair ended back in August, I cut off all contacts with him. I even quit my job( we met at work) My husband is getting cousling but I am not. I do not want my husband to know that I still think of this other man. My thoughts are not bad ones, just memories. They are not thoughts of regret for going back to my husband. I just try to push them out of my head but it is hard.

 
Old 03-06-2007, 12:45 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 617
tarheel247 HB User
Re: In love with my husband but cannot stop thinking about other man

I was in sorta the same situation about six years ago. I never cheated on my stbxh. But I thought of someone else. So we separated. Then my stbxh wanted to work things out. So we tried for the last six years. But there was something missing. I didn't want a divorce, but now I have found it was the best thing that could have happened. I didn't end up with the one that I thought of often. But I did find someone that I love more then anything. There was something missing with me and my stbx. Even though you love your husband, there must be something missing for you to even think of another man in any way.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Husband just diagnosed pnoe Cancer: Prostate 50 11-24-2009 01:57 PM
Would love some encouragement! Newwidow Herpes 3 09-11-2009 05:27 AM
love my husband, BUT feel I' NOT in love Ava_31 Relationship Health 60 04-11-2007 09:50 PM
In love with a married woman... Please help. hopelessinlove Relationship Health 18 10-27-2006 06:13 PM
Thoughts of my husband & other women Smartcookie Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 542 02-04-2006 05:54 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added











All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:24 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!