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Old 03-22-2007, 11:31 AM   #1
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26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

Hello everyone. Well I am 26 years old and just recently started talking to a man who I thought was 32. I met him on my-space and his profile said he was 32. Well he called me last night and I was saying something about age and how he was 32. He was like "what, i'm 38" and then that brought on a whole conversation about his age. Apparently my-space is messed up and has the wrong age, or he entered the wrong year for his birthday either by accident or on purpose, not sure. But anyway, he was upfront about it right away as soon as he realized I thought he was 32, so I think it is a genuine mistake. But my issue is that I really like this guy from as much as I have seen about him so far. But I have a major issue with him being 38. I had issues with him being 32 lol. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill, or should i just forget about being anything other than friends with this guy?

 
Old 03-22-2007, 12:57 PM   #2
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furtiva HB User
Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

Quote:
Originally Posted by michelle1980 View Post
But my issue is that I really like this guy from as much as I have seen about him so far. But I have a major issue with him being 38. I had issues with him being 32 lol. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill, or should i just forget about being anything other than friends with this guy?

You haven't seen anything yet, technichally speaking lol. Personally, I had the hugest crush on a guy who was ten/eleven years older than me..It didn't bother me a bit

On the other hand, I'd advise to be prudent bcs virtual relationship can be deceiveing, regardless of his age.

 
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Old 03-22-2007, 01:19 PM   #3
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

I personally don't find age much of an issue, as long as both are of legal age! 18 and 28 sounds bad, but 26 and 38 doesnt seem so bad to me. I think you're mature enough to know what you are looking for in another person. If you really like him, and seem to have hit it off.. then I would try not to let the age gap bother you.

Good luck.

 
Old 03-22-2007, 02:46 PM   #4
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

My dh is 11 years older than me. It never bothers me. It is not that rair.
What bothers me is that guy was lying about his age. I am not a perfect saint person myself, but it doesn't sound good.
I matched my relative who was 26 with neighbour in his 40th. Her mother was really unhappy, called him daddy and made her broke up with him. Funny thing that he found somebody and got married and she can't find anybody so far. She has character problems.

Last edited by galinaqt; 03-22-2007 at 02:48 PM.

 
Old 03-22-2007, 03:04 PM   #5
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

I don't think it's a big deal...I'm 24 and hooking up with a 37 year old, whom I adore. But it is kind of suspect that he had himself being six years younger on his webpage. Maybe he does that in order to rope people in at first, and then once he starts talking to them he just goes "Oh whoops, that's a mistake." Have you checked back on his page to see if he changed his age? If he hasn't that might be kind of a red flag.
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Old 03-22-2007, 05:28 PM   #6
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

My sis was 27 when she married her 41 year old bf (14 yrs. apart). And they have been married 7 years!

It's not as big a deal as you are making it out to be, really. It's hardly an issue at all at your age.

Last edited by Kszan; 03-22-2007 at 05:28 PM.

 
Old 03-22-2007, 08:34 PM   #7
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

Well, I don't like to generalize because everyone is different, but my first concern would be WHY is this 38 year old man STILL single AND on my space?

 
Old 03-22-2007, 09:28 PM   #8
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

I think the mistake sounds genuine, especialy since he was suprised you thought he was 32.

i would think that at 38, if you are sngle 'resorting' to the computer to meet people is not bad, i think its active and healthy as opposed to siting around and waiting for a relationship to fall in your lap.

 
Old 03-22-2007, 10:26 PM   #9
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michelle1980 HB User
Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

Hello everyone, thanks for the replys. He did change his *******, it says 38 now, so I do think it was a genuine mistake, otherwise it would still say 32. And actually he was married from the time he was 19 until 2 years ago. He has 2 kids who he adores and he told me he wasn't really looking to date anyone, but he stumbled upon my page, and thought i was cute so he messaged me, and here we are. He hasn't dated anyone since he split with the ex-wife. You guys make me feel so much better about the age difference. Hopefully i'll be able to get over it

 
Old 03-22-2007, 11:06 PM   #10
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

jozi209, you are so right. Once some people get into their 30's and older and feel they aren't into clubbing and hitting bars they often sit around and moan about not being able to find a decent partner. I have a male cousin like this and know of another few females in this category as well. They think internet dating is for losers, but on the other hand i know two girls who found their husbands on the internet and are now very happily married and they were only in their late 20's when they met these guys via the net.

The thing with net dating is to move it into real time sooner rather than later b/c this is when you can catch out those who are only after staying on the net as long as possible wasting your time as they have no interest in a committed relationship.

As for the age factor, don't worry about it. If it feels right and you guys click then that is all that matters. The only issue would be if you guys did commit, as he already has kids would he be wanting more kids? as i feel you would likely want kids considering you dont have any yet.

 
Old 03-23-2007, 05:28 AM   #11
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

Hmmm, I'd do a bit more thinking if I were you. I see nothing at all wrong with the age gap, but the fact is you do. If you surpress these feelings, how is that fair to him? I mean, he is going to turn 40 very soon. Are you going to have some sort of hernia when that happens? lol

 
Old 03-23-2007, 07:12 AM   #12
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michelle1980 HB User
Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

lol Laylah, I don't think I'll have a hernia when he turns 40, I think i'll have one when i turn 30 though lol. I think I'm going to meet him and see how old he seems in person. On the phone and the computer it feels like he is my age, so if it's the same in person, I think i'm going to go with it

 
Old 03-23-2007, 07:38 AM   #13
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Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

My bf is nearly 39 and is very often taken for a 22 year old, (based on his looks, not his mental maturity, otherwise he'd be out on his a$$, lol) He's very appreciative of these compliments when they arrive, as he's concious of turning 40 soon and is a bit paranoid about it (as I'm sure I will be nine years from now!)

As for turning 30, dont worry about it. I'm 31 now and I spent the whole of my twenties dreading 30. In fact I dreaded it so much at 29 I decided to speed up the process and started telling everyone I was 30. That lead to a very embarassing scene in a hospital ER where I was being admitted, told the woman my age, followed by my date of birth, you could see her calculating in her head. She asked me was I "sure about that" (probably thinking in the beatin I'd gotten to land me there I'd taken a few too many knocks to the head) and I was forced to explain that I was actually 29 and just tryin to get 30 over with. She fell around laughing, I was a bit embarassed.. Anyways when the big day arrived I just thought: "Oh who gives a s***".

As for the age gap between you and this guy, I know I'd have gone for the same man I'm with now had he been 38 and I been 22. Personality is a more important match than the age. Good luck with it.

 
Old 03-23-2007, 07:52 AM   #14
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furtiva HB User
Re: 26 year old female.. 38 year old man.. ??

Laylah your post are so enjoyable to read!

You are so right both for the age factor and on turning the big 30..I wish I weren;t so dread about it on my late 20-s, because I feel so much more confident and free now than I ever thought I could feel in my 20-s.

I was 26 when I had the big crush (we met while working on very close offices) and he was about to turn 37, but he merely looked 31...and his personality was the best....it didn't work out because of many other things, but age was never a concern..

good luck michelle, If I were you, I'd see how would I feel about him coming with emotional baggage from his previous marriage (if he has any) and his kids, other than that go for it as you'd normalyy treat any other man.

 
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