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Old 03-23-2007, 01:50 PM   #1
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Angry Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

A girl I know really well from my college years has set her sights on a married man. She's been making some noises about him on and off for a while. Apparently (according to her) he's as into her as she's into him, but he's been dragging his feet when it comes to getting intimate as he's struggling with issues of guilt etc.. Apparently he's never had an affair before.

I'm posting about this now because I've just gotten off the phone to her and she was going on about how they had lunch yesterday and how "lovely" it was and how sure she is she'll have him in bed soon (presumably when she has convinced him to overcome these guilt feelings, or ignore them, more like it). It's mad as I was only talking earlier on another thread about how some women get a thrill out of the very unavailability of men who are married or taken. It just pisses me off! I dont know this man so obviously havenít a clue who his wife is. All I know about her is that she's been married for eight years and has a little boy of six, and God love the pair of them as far as Iím concerned.

People, please donít lay into me about this. I'm not the one making this decision. I like the girl, but not what she's planning to do. She's a very head-strong person so I've a feeling I may be wasting my time, but any ideas on how to talk her out of it??

I know it's none of my business, but if I got some good ideas in the feedback to this thread that made me think just maybe I could manage to talk her out of it, I'd definitely give it a go, because as I said I get ****** off just thinking about this type of thing. Maybe I'm being naive, but I'd like to think a friend of a woman who was trying to screw my husband and the father of our child might have the decency in her to try to talk her friend out of it.

Yes, of course Iíve told her I donít condone it and reminded her what it felt like to be cheated on (sheís experienced that, who hasnít?) Ė NOT WORKING. I guess my friend's so full of lust she's beyond guilt. Anyone got anything else more original to hit her with???

 
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Old 03-23-2007, 01:54 PM   #2
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

I dunno....after reading your saga about your inappropriate sister, I'd like to suggest that you tell your friend to get together with your sister, go out and pick up some men who are available, and not married!
get these 2 hussies together and away from you!

 
Old 03-23-2007, 01:58 PM   #3
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

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Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
I dunno....after reading your saga about your inappropriate sister, I'd like to suggest that you tell your friend to get together with your sister, go out and pick up some men who are available, and not married!
get these 2 hussies together and away from you!
LOL, the pair of them on the town together? No womans man would be safe!

 
Old 03-23-2007, 01:59 PM   #4
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

yeah but you'd get them outta your hair, and their attention would be focused elsewhere. LOL

 
Old 03-23-2007, 02:03 PM   #5
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

It's a funny suggestion actually, cause they both have the same first name! I'll be watchin out for any woman with that name from here on out, lol!

 
Old 03-23-2007, 02:28 PM   #6
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

having as you know recently experienced something similar (although very different) i would be inclined to say that friends do not deserve unconditional loyalty. friendship has parameters. to what point can the bad or inapropriate behavior of a friend be condoned or supported??
at this moment in time my reaction would be to tell her that i was very very opposed to her intended actions that not only would she be putting a family at risk but also a friendship.

 
Old 03-23-2007, 02:39 PM   #7
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

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having as you know recently experienced something similar (although very different) i would be inclined to say that friends do not deserve unconditional loyalty. friendship has parameters. to what point can the bad or inapropriate behavior of a friend be condoned or supported??
at this moment in time my reaction would be to tell her that i was very very opposed to her intended actions that not only would she be putting a family at risk but also a friendship.
Anicky, I neither condone nor support her actions in this situation. I have told her how I feel. I know you're very raw on this sort of issue now, and understandably so, but I also know that if I stonewall her here (i.e. tell her she's putting a friendship on the line) I'll hear nothing further about what she's up to. She'll just do what she's doing and keep her mouth shut about it.

I'm about the only person she trusts enough to discuss this with, and trust me, if I knew this woman (the wife involved) and thought I'd get away without detection (which I wouldnt, as my friend hasnt discussed this with anyone else) I wouldnt be typing on my keyboard right now, I'd be picking up my phone.

Last edited by Laylah; 03-23-2007 at 02:42 PM.

 
Old 03-23-2007, 02:46 PM   #8
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

It is her life and her business. I guess, for some women it is a way to spice life up.

 
Old 03-23-2007, 04:01 PM   #9
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

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It is her life and her business. I guess, for some women it is a way to spice life up.
i suppose you are right, just seems a bit sad really.

reread my earlier post, yes a bit fanatic, that is to say mouth open brain closed

 
Old 03-23-2007, 04:04 PM   #10
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

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Originally Posted by galinaqt View Post
It is her life and her business. I guess, for some women it is a way to spice life up.
i suppose you are right, just seems a bit sad really.

reread my earlier post, yes a bit fanatic, that is to say mouth open brain closed

 
Old 03-23-2007, 05:11 PM   #11
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

I know quite a lot of men/women who does it. Doesn't mean that they want to end there marriages. For them it is just some kind of change to daily routine. Remind me movie "True lies". It is sad, but it is their choice. This mand could refuse to have affair, he chose not.

 
Old 03-23-2007, 06:16 PM   #12
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

I guess sometimes........even though you tell the person.

And if the person is hard-headed.....they will just do it anyways.

Sorry...there is not much you can say or do....to convince her not to(have an affair).

Maybe You can pray to God....that she will know what is right and what is wrong.

 
Old 03-23-2007, 06:27 PM   #13
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

Laylah, the person you don't speak of in this sorry business is the actual man. Don't ignore his part in this. He can always choose to do the right thing. No woman is that dangerous that she can drain away all his morals like a ******* at the throat. Apart from that, given that all parties are legal adults, there is nothing you can do apart from making your feelings known. PS you have interesting friends. Cheers, Sera

 
Old 03-24-2007, 05:35 AM   #14
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

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Laylah, the person you don't speak of in this sorry business is the actual man. Don't ignore his part in this. He can always choose to do the right thing. No woman is that dangerous that she can drain away all his morals like a ******* at the throat. Apart from that, given that all parties are legal adults, there is nothing you can do apart from making your feelings known. PS you have interesting friends. Cheers, Sera
I have to agree. If this "man" were decent and had any morals whatsoever he wouldn't even be dealing with your friend. There really isn't much you can say to her. She is adult, you spoke your piece, and now she is going to do what she wants. Nothing will happen unless this man allows it to happen. At that point he is to blame for what happens in his marriage!

Girls who prey upon married men would get nowhere if these men stood behind their committments and vows!

 
Old 03-24-2007, 12:01 PM   #15
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Re: Friend is about to have affair with married man. How do I talk her out of it??

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Originally Posted by happymom28 View Post
Girls who prey upon married men would get nowhere if these men stood behind their committments and vows!
That's about the truest thing I've heard in a while..

 
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