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Old 04-05-2007, 02:30 PM   #1
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How to deal with difficult people

Okay,here is the situation....I work for a company and have really learned to love it....I have been there over a year and it has been wonderful. The situation is that a couple of my co-workers and I have been under the impression that our receptionist has been stealing our clients instead of passing the calls onto us when they call. Someone recently left an anonimous letter with our boss regaurding the concern beause even with having confronted this lady with our concern....she just lies about it and it is getting increasingly flustrating. I am not very good with conflicts...I usually get along with everyone and stay out of sticky situations but this is my living we are talking about. Apparently our boss has had a talk with her about the concerns and is doing some things behind the scenes such as putting in a new switchboard that records all incoming/outgoing calls which will halt her operation. The thing is that without even knowing who sent this letter she has taken up this attitude with me like nothing else. It is terrible,I haven't done anything wrong to this women,she should be mad at herself but she is taking it out on me. Everytime I walk into the office now she rolls her eyes at me,makes these huffy sounds,if she has any messages for me she will come to my office and slam them down on the table. This is extreamly flustrating to me and it is a concern since she is talking and dealing with my clients and I don't trust her with my clients just by the way she is acting towards me. I do not want to create more tension in the office or try to be a troublemaker but I have tried to deal with the situation myself and ask her what her problem was with me and all she could say was "nothing" and the continued to act in the same way. I honestly think she has stolen clients from alot of people..she is certainly questionable in alot of her activities and I know I cannot stand another day of this tension. My boss is leaving on holiday today and will be gone for a while,what would be the next step in dealing with this. I think I have been as professional as has been allowed now I just want this to end.

 
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Old 04-05-2007, 02:34 PM   #2
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

I would approach her. Ask her why she is behaving like that.
Honestly...thats the best way to do it. Be direct, ask her for an explanation. Lets hearwhat she has to say. Tell her you woul like to resolve this matter because you want to keep things professional and you do not appreciate that kind of behaviour from a member of staff.
She should be embarrassed by that. She'll probably be very surprised too...if you were guilty, then you wouldnt approach her and be that direct....she'd least expect it.
I would also suggest someone else be present with you because by the sounds of things she isnt a nice person.

Last edited by apple_juice; 04-05-2007 at 02:36 PM.

 
Old 04-05-2007, 04:45 PM   #3
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

I am agree with the previous poster, exept you have to do it without witnesses. She won't be open and honest with somebody else around. Other people may have attitude that it is your war to fight. If she wants to make up stories, she will do it anyway. I suspect that she chose you out of everybody 'cause you are weaker than others. I am not critisithing you, but I got hurt by people at work beyound believe for many years. Main reason I am here. She almost want it to be you. I would also stay away from supervisor. They hate somebody who wants to put them in the middle. At least exhaust all resources before/if you involve him. Talk many times with her if necessary.

 
Old 04-05-2007, 05:43 PM   #4
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

I agree, you have to address this. I would go further than Apple Juice tho. Log incidents. Tell her flat out that her behaviour is unprofessional, tell her what behaviours need changing, let her know it is in writing and that your next stop is the boss's office. Do all this is a pleasant assertive way, don't be goaded into crossness etc,and then the ball is in her court. I agree with Galina too, no witnesses, she would lose too much face to back down. Your other option is to buy her a box of chocolates and say, let's start again. Sometimes it is worth it just to get a person like that on side, not to mention confuse them totally.

 
Old 04-05-2007, 06:58 PM   #5
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

Why don't you go to your Human Resources office and complain?! They will do an investigation of the situation. If she has been stealing clients then she should get fired. At the very least it will scare her enough to let her know that you aren't someone to mess with and that she should just stick to her job and leave the attitude at home. Why is it that every job has a witch?!

Last edited by DitoDupe; 04-05-2007 at 06:59 PM.

 
Old 04-05-2007, 09:29 PM   #6
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

Quote:
Originally Posted by DitoDupe View Post
Why don't you go to your Human Resources office and complain?! They will do an investigation of the situation. If she has been stealing clients then she should get fired. At the very least it will scare her enough to let her know that you aren't someone to mess with and that she should just stick to her job and leave the attitude at home. Why is it that every job has a witch?!
Going over this person's and manager's head to the higher up is the worst possible thing you could do. It will not be forgiveness or way back after that. My worst experience in life came from that. She, manager and whole team will do anything in there power to destroy you. Even give you wrong information is perfectly fine. Human resources will start check out everything which going on in your team and nobody would like it. You put supervisor's job in danger, neither him, neither people he satisfied would like it to say the least.
You would be treated as a person who can't take care of herself, but want somebody else do it for you.
You can writer what she is doing but do it secretly. On the surface: talked to her, give her gift, anything in your power to solve it without involving anybody.

Last edited by galinaqt; 04-05-2007 at 09:30 PM.

 
Old 04-06-2007, 10:21 PM   #7
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

Yeah, Well I have been trying to handle this as professional as possible but I think her main problem is that she is sqirming that her little operation is under scrutiny at best...apparently I am not the only one that she is treating badly in the office. I found out from other co-workers today that she is treating them in the same way,and all of these are the co-workers that have caught her trying to steal clients for herself.The poor situation is that her receptionist job is a conflict of interest for all concerned. It may get worse before it gets better. I just hope it gets better soon,i cannot stand the hostility that I feel in her presence,it is very draining to me.

 
Old 04-07-2007, 04:44 AM   #8
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

Quote:
Originally Posted by bestyear07 View Post
i cannot stand the hostility that I feel in her presence,it is very draining to me.
I think you need to outdo her in the hostility stakes bestyear, I think you need to develop the priceless talent of delivering the steely-eyeball. It works more effectively than a punch in the face, trust me. It'll be the last thing she'll be expecting from the sounds of it, and surprise is the weight behind the axe, if you know what I mean.

Unfortunatly these sort of cows have to be dealt with in the workplace and it sounds to me that you need to start meeting like with like. (Oh dear God, thank you for letting me work from home, lol.)

 
Old 04-07-2007, 05:37 AM   #9
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

Quote:
Originally Posted by bestyear07 View Post
Yeah, Well I have been trying to handle this as professional as possible but I think her main problem is that she is sqirming that her little operation is under scrutiny at best...apparently I am not the only one that she is treating badly in the office. I found out from other co-workers today that she is treating them in the same way,and all of these are the co-workers that have caught her trying to steal clients for herself.The poor situation is that her receptionist job is a conflict of interest for all concerned. It may get worse before it gets better. I just hope it gets better soon,i cannot stand the hostility that I feel in her presence,it is very draining to me.
Well, if it gets too much, if it already hasn't done so, take her aside and tell her you want to clear the air because you want to maintain a professional atmosphere- tell her, in a nice way, you want to sort things out- thatll get her up agaisnt a wall- it ALWAYS works. but if she doesnt agree, well then youll have to take things to the next level, but i reckon it needn't come too that because i think she has too much to loose.
I work part time in retail, have worked for four years, and our shop consists of mostly ladies, and you can imagine the b!tching that goes on....from my experience, it is always best to confront the person, in a nice civil manner, and the matter usually gets solved- making the person feel stupid for their behaviour because youre better than that- you will stand up for yourself. people like her dont expect that and think they can get away with things like that.... making life difficult for everyone but you hold the power and ability to change that.
goodluck!

 
Old 04-07-2007, 03:02 PM   #10
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

Very dicey. If you approach her alone, you have no one to back you up and she can say whatever.

But, too, if you approach her with someone, she may feel ganged up on and put on her best face.

However you do it, it does sound like you and her need to talk. Something needs to be done so this situation improves. I wouldn't just sit still and hope time will work it all out--you have a fight on your hands and it's too bad everything you've done so far isn't working. But sometimes little by little persistence does pay off even if at the time, it doesn't seem so.

 
Old 04-07-2007, 04:47 PM   #11
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

I don't know you guys I just don't think the receptionists actually gives a crap over being confronted by her. She is one of those people that feeds from being terrible to others. I had a situation like that with a coworker and I tried for months to be her friend and show her that I was a nice person but she would still pick on me. It finally got to the point where I got so fed up that I went to HR and she got fired. Not only was I relieved but so were my coworkers bc they were fed up with her also.

I see where the others think its a good idea to just talk to her first but that doesn't always work you know.

 
Old 04-07-2007, 05:31 PM   #12
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

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Originally Posted by galinaqt View Post
Going over this person's and manager's head to the higher up is the worst possible thing you could do. It will not be forgiveness or way back after that. My worst experience in life came from that. She, manager and whole team will do anything in there power to destroy you. Even give you wrong information is perfectly fine. Human resources will start check out everything which going on in your team and nobody would like it. You put supervisor's job in danger, neither him, neither people he satisfied would like it to say the least.
You would be treated as a person who can't take care of herself, but want somebody else do it for you.
You can writer what she is doing but do it secretly. On the surface: talked to her, give her gift, anything in your power to solve it without involving anybody.
Galinaqt, you had an awful experience, certainly you have, we have discussed it before; but I honestly think you are projecting your own personal experience onto every possible scenario that may ever happen re workplace bullying, and, to be frank, I think that is short-sighted and unhelpful advice.

Sometimes the only thing to do is to stand up for yourself, and that is exactly what's required in a lot of these situations.

 
Old 04-07-2007, 05:52 PM   #13
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

"As I stand on the banks of the river of life, the bodies of my enemies wash down past me"
She will get hers eventually, one way or another. Do what you need to do, whatever it is, to protect yourself. She is full of ******, but it is HER ******. Swan on by and always greet her sweetly, and ooze honey goo around. That drives them mad, cos then they look mean and little even to themselves after a while.

 
Old 04-07-2007, 06:26 PM   #14
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

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Originally Posted by Laylah View Post
Galinaqt, you had an awful experience, certainly you have, we have discussed it before; but I honestly think you are projecting your own personal experience onto every possible scenario that may ever happen re workplace bullying, and, to be frank, I think that is short-sighted and unhelpful advice.

Sometimes the only thing to do is to stand up for yourself, and that is exactly what's required in a lot of these situations.

It didn't happen with me just one time and first experience was worse than the other. Mainly because second time I didn't complain "up".
I worked for many years and watched other people. The only way is dealing with person on your own or leave. Complaining doesn't consider standing up for yourself, but quite opposite. I think I am helpful, because I want to stop person from owful step.

 
Old 04-07-2007, 06:38 PM   #15
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Re: How to deal with difficult people

Well, in the face of that all I can do is repeat myself:

I honestly think you are projecting your own personal experience onto every possible scenario that may ever happen re workplace bullying, and, to be frank, I think that is short-sighted and unhelpful advice.

Sometimes the only thing to do is to stand up for yourself, and that is exactly what's required in a lot of these situations.

 
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