Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoff9600  I know this line is cheesy and old but I can't tell you how true it is. I will even admit I didnt believe it myself until it smacked me in the face.
Stop looking and it will find you.
I know sorry it is cheesy but very true. I wasnt looking and had actually sworn off relationships in general. Then I met this guy in a parking lot and he barely said one word to me. Hung out with his roommate that evening. The next day we met again and talked til 4 in the morning and the same thing the next day as well. Six months later we got married and that was 12 years ago. I know you arent looking for that kind of thing but neither was I. I honestly wasnt looking and it hit me whether I wanted it or not. So when you hear stop looking and it will find you it is advice that is very true.
Also try new things or places sometimes it is a matter of being in the right place in order for it to find you. |
Yes, there are two schools of thought regarding finding a mate, one is the above, stop looking and it will find you. The other is that you have to approach finding a mate the same way you would approach finding a job, you have to get out there, put your very best foot forward, and pound the pavement and look under every rock and nook and cranny to find someone, leave no stone unturned. I have had trouble finding a mate as well, and I have been advised many times, even sometimes on this board, that it's because I'm not looking or trying hard enough. of course, no one follows me around with a camera and a notepad, so no one really knows just how hard I have tried except me. It sounds like you have tried hard as well. Personally, I have tried both schools, I have focused on other things and not been concerned whether I meet someone or not, and I have also attacked it aggressively like a job search, leaving no stone unturned. I must say from my own experience, the first way worked better for me. I met someone once when I had sworn off relationships. Even though it didn't last, I think it came when it was supposed to. I have become rather spiritual about it. We can pursue anything in life, a job, a house, a career, a car, moving to our ideal location, we have control over every aspect of our life, except when it comes to another person's free will. We cannot force another person's free will, and therefor cannot make someone love us or want to be with us. We can make ourself as lovable as possible, but in the end, it's up to the other person whether they want to be with us or not. And because it depends on another person's free, and therefor really out of our hands when it comes right down to it, I think the best approach is to let it go and trust God, the fates, the powers that be, whatever you believe governs the universe, that you will meet your SO if and when you are supposed to. Hang in there, chin up, I know it's hard. Good luck to you.
can't even get a relationship 
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