Can't Take Anymore of his Family - Relationship Health Message Board

jkitty · 05-07-2007, 12:57 PM

My boyfriend and I have issues. I don't think we are going to last. He doesn't understand why I am so upset. He thinks just because he gives me money every time he gets some, that he is doing well for me and I should be grateful.

At every turn he helps his family. They are all addicts. He is in recovery - barely. He takes pills some times and that effects our relationship.

He doesn't have a job. He drives my second car. He lives with me, he has my cell phone ALL the time. He always needs something.

THis is the first time he's been on his own and he doesn't realize that I am not his caretaker, mother etc... He acts as if I would be paying rent anyway if he wasn't there so he is helping rather than added to my load.

I am starting to resent him, resent his family and I don't feel like this si a partnership.

How do you get through finanical problems when the pther person is so ungrateful? He acts like he is ready to leave ME because he is unhappy. He doesn't know how much I wish he would find someone else to mootch off.

happymom28 · 05-07-2007, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkitty

How do you get through finanical problems when the pther person is so ungrateful? He acts like he is ready to leave ME because he is unhappy. He doesn't know how much I wish he would find someone else to mootch off.

This is very simple. Tell him to pay half of the household expenses, the cell phone bill, and any expense on the second car he is driving in full each and every month or find somewhere else to live <period> .

He is ungrateful and he will never change unless you put your foot down, and even then there is no guarentee. You are not him mother, his caretaker, or whatever so don't let him treat you that way. If he chooses to leave you because you won't give him a free ride then you are far better off without him.

rosequartz · 05-07-2007, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkitty

How do you get through finanical problems when the pther person is so ungrateful? He acts like he is ready to leave ME because he is unhappy. He doesn't know how much I wish he would find someone else to mootch off.

first off you need to identify the REAL problem......it's not finances....
it's your freeloading BF who think's he's ENTITLED to everything......
your problem is because your boyfriend doesn't know the meaning of the word respect.......sorry to break it to you, but that's not something you can teach him.....
lose him, you don't need him!

jkitty · 05-07-2007, 02:55 PM

I know. I am ready. I've had the discussion with him already that he pay half of bills. That would be 125 per week. But then he lost his job.

He acts like just because he gets a few hundred here and there and gives me 70 or 80 when he can, that he's helping and doing all he can.

Oh really? That's why he took his mom to the dr. today instead of looking for a job? He values pills more than helping me and I am telling him tonight that I want the keys to the car back and that YES he should find somewhere else to stay.

He doesn't love me despite his lame attempts to make me believe that he does. I am letting him go. I guess sometimes I just need to vent and he makes me feel like I am being cruel and like I am over reacting. I know I am not. I don't care anymore if he believes that he is right. I don't care if he hates me and thinks I am wrong. I can't be with someone that won't work with me.

I will update tomorrow but it's time for "the Talk".

Destea · 05-07-2007, 03:30 PM

Sounds like the right thing to do in this case... good luck!