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Old 06-17-2007, 12:52 PM   #1
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uberpwner HB User
Please im begging for help!!

Hi my names gary im 16 and im fron london uk , well my story is i met a girl called shakira when i was 12 and we have been boyfriend and girl frind for about 3 and a half years, it was all good for the first 2 years i didnt relly speak to her kiss or cuddle her alot not really worry were she was what she was doing because my feelings did not relly develop for her but then i reconised how much a part of my life she was. She is everything to me shes the person i think of from when i wake to when i sleep i cant do nothing with out her she my strength shes everything that keeps me going, in my high school she is probley one of the most 10 good looking girls there. when she talks to boys i get angry and i dotn like it and it started i was liek you cant talk to certain boys then i t went to u cant talk to any boys and she did it she would talk to them and she was always with me never with her girl m8s and we did this for 10 mounths, she did hint to me some times that she wanted to go out and stuff but i got angry and upset so she would stop saying them kinda things. Then this year i went on holiday things were rocky we argued alot but still loved each other with all are hearts i was everything to her and she was everything to me a match made in heaven we would rite each other notes and letters about how we wanted to grow old together get married have kids and all that we was in love more then any one could imagine but wile i was on holiday she went out with her m8 to a rollacoaster place and her m8s mum.. and got back at like 10pm so i was like were u been who u been with did u talk to any other boys and all that .. and then i said you aint going out till i come back from holiday and thats when she finally snapped she said fine then if your gona leav me cause i went out then you do it and i DID IT out of pure ignorance and we always used to break up like for an hour or a day after we had a argument and she always came back but this time she didnt she said that she was unhappy for the 10 mounths not with everything but when i was bossy and stuff. I Was SHOCKED i didnt no what to do i rang and rang and rang her every day beggeing her to come bk and she said i want to be with you i love you with all my heart and that will never change but i want you to change and trust me and not get jelous cause theres nothing to get jelous about, she is a innocent girl not one of them that go with any boy she just sees other boys as m8s but my mind plays tricks and it looks like to me shes flirting when she says she nto and i do trust her but i always ahve dout in my mind, so i tried to change but its so hard becuase i havent got her its tearing me apart from inside ripping my heart out ive had anger problems when i was young and i got rid of them thru anger management but its all came back from what happend i cant cope if i see her talking to a boy in school i flip smash windows beat ppl up punch walls go mad, i dotn no what to do i do try to change like dont ask her who she been with and stuff jsut ask her how her day was n **** but its hard cause i do it for like 3 days but then it just gets to much and i flip agen.. ive tried overdosing and killing my self cutting my self and i have a knife right here with me now.. i need help you dotn no how much were in love but i dont no what to do plz plz plz some one help me i love her with all my heart she makes me smile by just looking at me shes everything plz help me! there more i can tell you guys about how i feel and how she feeels and how much in depth are love goes but it might bore u guys so i just chose all the maind things! plz help me or just give pointers ! it Would be great thanks!

Last edited by uberpwner; 06-17-2007 at 01:02 PM.

 
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Old 06-17-2007, 01:18 PM   #2
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Re: Please im begging for help!!

Gary, I guess you already realise you need some serious counceling. If I were your girlfriend I'd run far away from you. What you think is love is control. Your trying to get what you need deep inside from your girlfriend.
Can you get counceling? Is there any adults you can trust to go to for help?
Are there any teen hotlines you can call?

 
Old 06-17-2007, 01:35 PM   #3
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Re: Please im begging for help!!

Hi thanks for the reply i didnt mean to control her i just wanted her to be mine for ever i relise what i did was just so i felt good but i relly do love her with all my heart and i never would do anything to hurt her and yea i have had counceling and im getting angermanagement agen and the counceling dosent relly help.. ! thanks for the reply please can i have some more thanks all

Last edited by uberpwner; 06-17-2007 at 01:36 PM.

 
Old 06-17-2007, 02:24 PM   #4
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Re: Please im begging for help!!

Hanna has given you some pretty good advice. Get your parents involved if you think that will help. In order for counceling to work, you have to be willing to participate with your heart and soul. I'm sure you can see that sane, rational, reasonable don't beat people up, break windows, throw things and run amock and get out of control when things don't go their way or they dont' get what they want. Life is going to be full of disappointments, every single day something will go wrong or will not go the way you wanted, it's part of being human, and part of being an adult is learning how to deal with it, and be happy or at least content with the things you do have control over and come to peace with the things you don't have control over, and that includes other people. You cannot control other people, you cannot make them stay with you or love you forever, you can't really make them do anything. All you can do is be the best person you know how to be and hope to find someone who will love that person, and want to stay with that person.

If you go into counceling with the idea of the therapist helping you how to hang onto your girlfriend, then therapy will fail for you. Your therapist will not help you learn better ways to hang onto her or to hang onto things you want to hang onto. Because that's not a healthy way to look at love or life. You're having a tough time dealing with loss and disappointment, you need to learn better, more effective and more socially appropriate ways of dealing with these things. It could be that your girlfriend won't come back to you, but it's way too soon to even be thinking about that yet. You need to really work on yourself, and come to understand why it was wrong of you to demand that your girlfriend not talk to other boys at all, not to go anywhere with anyone while you were gone, etc. Good luck to you.

 
Old 06-17-2007, 02:58 PM   #5
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isitme HB Userisitme HB User
Re: Please im begging for help!!

NOBODY belongs to anybody!
EVERYBODY is unique!
LOVE is not measured by time apart.
Let her be free..................

 
Old 06-17-2007, 03:17 PM   #6
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uberpwner HB User
Re: Please im begging for help!!

Thanks for all that you said i knoe what you mean about you cant control some one i didnt want to i didnt meant to i just wanted to know my self that she would stay with me for the rest of my life. I was on phone to her 15 mins ago i was crying and that cause i cant help it i said to her how much do you love me and she said more than anything i love you the same amount as i love my grandad (Who passed away and she was really close to him) she said i just want you to change so we can be together, then i think if this is true love it will be if its not it wont right? but its the fact if it isnt true love how am i goner cope i seriosuly reckon i would start harming m self even more than i am at the minit. If she rely rely rely love me wouldnt she think to her self look at the pain and things hes TRYING to do for me and she would be back by now? thanks for all the comments your all really great people and i value each and every one of you ! Please keep them comeing reading the things you guys write dose calm me xD THANKS!

 
Old 06-17-2007, 03:50 PM   #7
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Re: Please im begging for help!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by uberpwner View Post
i said to her how much do you love me and she said more than anything i love you the same amount as i love my grandad (Who passed away and she was really close to him) she said i just want you to change so we can be together. If she rely rely rely love me wouldnt she think to her self look at the pain and things hes TRYING to do for me and she would be back by now?
Hi, She says she loves you, but she wants you to change. Basically she's telling you that if you really love her and want things to work out, then YOU have got to make the change.

The last part of the above quote your saying that if she really loved you, she would look at the pain your going through and come back. Well the thing is, you have got to see that when you were together she was also going through a lot of pain, so if YOU love her, it is up to YOU to change for her, and ultimately for you.

Please stop harming yourself, you must'nt do it, your a young lad, give yourself a chance, don't be harsh on yourself. You got help before and got control over your anger, you can do it again.

 
Old 06-17-2007, 04:02 PM   #8
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Re: Please im begging for help!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by uberpwner View Post
If she rely rely rely love me wouldnt she think to her self look at the pain and things hes TRYING to do for me and she would be back by now?
Unfortunately, no. Love just doesn't work that way. It's hard, it's painful, but it's the truth. It's not her job to come back and love you into being a better person. It's your job to get your stuff together and be the kind of guy who treats her fairly, respectfully, trustyingly, NON controlling, and to earn her love and trust back. It's not going to be easy, but nothing worth having ever is. The hardest thing I ever had to learn about love is that it's possible to kill it, and once we do, we can't always revive it. I had a guy I loved very much, and we both made mistakes, but I made mistakes that killed his love for me. I have learned a great deal since then and would not make those same mistakes, but he's long gone by now and married to someone else. All I can do now is take those lessons I learned and be a better person for myself, and apply those lessons to any future relationships that may come my way. Sometimes that's the best we can do, and it has to be good enough. You can't make getting her back the one and only condition of dealing with your anger issues or of being happy.

 
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