Kszan

I forsee some really serious heartbreak for you if you continue on this way. Because, just as everyone told you when you first started your "arrangement", you've always had more feelings for him than what he had for you. And now that you've been in it for a while, you are hanging on hoping that he will change his mind and want to date you after all. Listen, these type of situations always end up with the person who has the feelings getting hurt.

It's a lot easier for guys because they rarely form an emotional attachment to a woman with whom they have an NSA going on. The whole point of why they do that is because they don't want the hassle of having a girlfriend, they just want the sex part and that's it. I don't forsee this going well for you, in fact I really see you getting badly hurt if you continue on this thought process.

I know it's really hard to come to terms with it, but he's just using you. If he really truly honestly cared about you, he would make you his girlfriend instead of just keeping it a totally casual sex thing. I have totally been where you are and I kept thinking the way you are thinking, that eventually he'd come around and want to be my bf because he was telling me all kinds of secrets that he wouldn't tell other people and blah blah blah. It was all for nothing. He dated a lot of other girls that were not me, and he never gave me a reason why I wasn't gf material and yet he didn't mind sleeping with me. It was really hard for me because I really started liking him way too much.

So my advice to you is that if you can't handle keeping it strictly an NSA where you don't expect anything from him, then this relationship is not right for you. I know people told you this a long time ago when you were still debating about whether or not it was a good idea to go forward with it. And I don't remember what your reply was, I just remember that a lot of people said that you have to watch it and don't get too attached. But you've totally broken that rule now and you're going to end up being really hurt because of it. I think that if you want to keep this friendship on a friendship level then you need to take out the sex part and just be happy with being friends only. Because I am telling you from experience that if he hasn't already committed to being your bf then he never will.

Read Greg Berendt's book He's Just Not That Into You. Because it really applies in this situation. If he was into you then he couldn't wait to be your bf. But this guy doesn't want that at all. That's a huge problem because you're having way more than just friendship feelings for him now, and it's only going to get more painful for you if you keep sleeping with him and hoping that he'll change his mind.