My boyfriend lives hours out of town and is having his best friend from childhood stay with him for the week. They are both 26, really good looking, outgoing, and have a history with the ladies. I don't know many details but I do know that in college they used to try and sabotage each other's relationships, swap women, had a threesome, and who knows what else. My BF confessed that he has a hard time saying No to this guy. His friend is a fun loving, high energy, spur of the moment type guy. In my eyes he's dangerous. I hung out with them this weekend and even though he has a girlfriend back home, he was out looking for a lady to have some fun with. And considering their history together and the fact my BF can't say no to him and doesn't like being a party pooper, I am really nervous about the situation. Last night was their first night alone together and when I called my BF he didn't answer and never called me back. That's not a good way to start the week!! I still haven't heard from him. How should I handle this? Should I constantly call? Should I be nervous at the fact I didn't hear from him last night? I want to trust him but am having a hard time not thinking the worst!
Let's hope that your Bf has grown out of his College boy habits. If he can't resist following this other guy like a sheep, maybe you want a BF with a bit more moral fibre to him. Probably though, you have nothing to worry about, the pal may drag him to some sleaze palace, just hope he doesn't touch anything Tell him off for not calling you though! Sera
I would be very very nervous as well if I were you. Personally, I don't really believe a leapard really ever changes his spots so I would never date a man with a history like your boyfriend's, for this very reason. I think your boyfriend had to know that you were on edge with this guy coming to visit and I think it was rather inconsiderate of him not to call you back. I mean, let's face it, anything could be going on. He's proved himself to be the kind of person who is a player and who is less than honest. Is there a ring on your finger? If not, there's really no reason to believe he's changed.
My blunt, brutally honest opinion is, you want a man you can trust, and you've described him as weak willed, dishonest and a player, and someone who can't be trusted. Why are you still with him? I would suggest driving a couple of hours for an impromptu visit to see what he's up to, but if you have to do that, then there's already something pretty wrong. I'd sit back and wait to see how long it takes him to call you. That will tell you just how much he's thinking about you and how concerned he is about you and your feelings. I'm suspicious of guys like this because of a man I used to know. He had a girlfriend he claimed to love and she loved and trusted him, but he was just a player. He had an old girlfriend from another state come and visit, and told his current girlfriend not to come around while his old girlfriend was visiting, giving her some lame story about how she still had felings for him even though he didn't reciprocate anymore, and his mom would be there too and his mom would get upset if there were any fights between the two girlfriends so he told her not to come around. Of course it was all malarkey and he jsut wnated 10 days to play and sleep with his old out of state girlfriend without worrying about covering with his new girlfriend. So I've seen with my own eyes what some men are capable of, so I don't put anything past guys like that. The fact that he's not checking in with you is not a good sign.
Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 06-18-2007 at 10:38 AM.
I would not constantly call. This will only irritate him more and possibly cause him to shut his phone off.
When he does call you back, I would ask him how his evening was and how his buddy is doing. I would not give him the third degree - as this would only **** him off.
I do think there is a middle ground here. Don't constantly call but don't be a doormat. I would tell him directly that you were upset that he didn't call you back from last night and it made you nervous and you miss him. Also, maybe you could send him flirtatious texts the next night he goes out with his friend... as a friendly reminder to what he already has in you!
I wouldn't constantly call him. He is going to do what he is going to do regardless of whether or not you ring his phone off the hook. In reality, it may push him into trying to prove to his buddy that he can act however he wants when you are not around.
Honestly, if you are this untrusting over his friend visiting (and I'm not saying you are out of line here) I would really re-evaluate your relationship. This isn't the first issue you have brought to the boards and I doubt it will be the last. I'm not trying to be rude at all, I just think this is another number on a long list of issues that are present.
When he does finally call you don't attack him, but definately put the point across that you are annoyed with his lack of respect toward you. To think, he wants you to move in with him but this is how he acts? He doesn't sound even close to being ready to handle a live in girlfriend.
Last edited by Administrator; 06-11-2010 at 07:38 PM.
Tell him off for not calling you though! Sera
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