This girl I work with and i have made our feelings known to each other. She said she wants a relationship with me, and so do i, im just waiting for the right romantic time to ask her formally. Anyway, the other day, she emailed me nude photos of herself, which totally surprised me. I asked her why she did this and she said "It makes me feel sexy".
She is a very nice and sophisticated person, but i wasnt really impressed with what she did, it just seems like a trashy thing to do. What do you guys think?
I presume she is over 18. Whatever the case, it was a very inappropriate thing to do, in my opinion. A blunder, so to say. She hardly knows you! Now, it's hard to say what she really meant by doing that: does she mean to say she wants a sexual rather than romantic relationship with you? or is she simply showing off, being in reality insecure about her own body? And there are the other questions: who did take the pictures? did she send them to other people? isn't she worried that you might share her pictures with other people, too? does she want this to happen, or is she convinced that you are a gentleman and won't do that? Anyway, she was playing with fire, but probably didn't know she was. You say she is sophisticated. Could be, but she is also a little crazy, isn't she?
Telling her about the trashy thing would certainly make her feel embarrassed or angry or she might think that you are immature or afraid of sex, who knows?
If she is really a nice person, despite all this mess, and if she attracts you somehow, I would just ignore it, unless she brings it up again, and would enter the relationship with her, just in order to see how it develops. I know she sort of put a bee in your bonnet, but honestly you don't have anything to lose. Just be careful if you have sex with her: protect yourself in the interest of both of you.
I think that is a strange way to kick-start a relationship. What was she thinking? Tho, were they professional photos, maybe she is a model in her other life, in which case it is a bit less weird. Sera
Women make this mistake a lot. They think that in order to get a guy's attention they need to do something sexual. And yes, it does get attention. But they don't realize that men quickly lose all respect for any woman who does anything that is too sexual. She thought it would make you want her more...she probably did not think that it would make you doubt her entire character and moral fiber.
Although, to be perfectly honest, if a guy that I had not even begun dating yet sent me nude photos of himself I would be pretty skeeved out myself. I'd think he was a sex-obsessed pervert. But with women it's different. Some of us assume all men are sex-obsessed perverts anyway so we think the way to their hearts is through sexuality. Maybe you should be perfectly honest with her and tell her even though she's gorgeous, the pictures made you feel weird and you don't want her to feel like she's just a sex object to you. It could embarass her or maybe even jeopardize a possible relationship...but you need to be straightforward in how you feel.
The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get closer and see that it's astroturf~
I think the woman in question answered the riddle herself when she explained; "It makes me feel sexy". She did it for her own sexual benefit at least as much as for the OP. I think she is much more sexually liberated than the OP is familiar or comfortable with.
I dont agree at all that she may have body insecurities by the way; sending nude photos is not the behaviour of a woman with insecurities of that sort!
I guess what you've got to do OP is figure out whether it's something you can get over or whether you'll always be regarding her as "trashy" because of it. If that is the case I think you'd be better off finding a less liberated woman and letting her find a more liberated man. That is not to put you down in any way. I would not be happy to receive a load of naked images of a man I'd just met either, so I guess I'd fit in the 'less liberated' category myself!
I think it was inappropriate. I also believe that some woman think this is the way to get a man and/or his attention. However, look at how the responses here have gone. Bad choice....big mistake.
How long do you really know her or have you been working with her? Think long about this......if this is going to bother you, tell her truth before anything else happens in this "relationship". If I were you I would wonder how many other "friends" or almost boyfriends she has done this to and has been with.
I was a beautiful girl and very flirtatious, I prided myself on getting attention. No woman who has insecurities would do that. In fact a woman who is very sure of herself would or curious would. She finds it sexy to do so and that is fine BUT you really should ask her if you were the only one who got these pictures and who took those pictures. Tell her that you want to take things slowly. And if for some reason you decide to have sexual relations with her please make sure you use protection every single time. You have no idea where she is from and whom she has been with.
passing photos on the internet is very dangerous and I would hope as smart as she is that she knew this. Those photos could have gone anywhere and you need to figure out if you are confortable with a girlfriend that would do that.
I dunno...I think it is pretty hot. I think it shows that she is very interested and trusting of you. Obviously, you two know each other pretty well for her to feel comfortable enough about sending you those pictures.
btw dma11663, perhaps an idea for you? lol
joking of course
I agree that she really mustn't have too many insecurities about herself to do this. She said it makes her feel sexy. I say good for her for being so comfortable with herself and her body. I'm not sure if emailing the pictures to a man she hardly knows was the most appropriate thing for her to do, but that's just my opinion and something I wouldn't do. However, I have taken some rather riske picures of myself in the past and gave them to my boyfriend at the time not too long after we started dating. He liked them. She probably thought you would enjoy them just as much as she does.
She emailed to you at home so it was definately meant to be your eyes only. If she sent them to you at work I would find it way more inappropriate. Now you need to figure out how you feel about it and act on it. If it is going to make you think she is "trashy" or less of a person then don't waste your time with her. She is obviously very liberal and very comfortable with her sexuality and will need a man who can keep up with her.
It just occured to me , regardless of what she is trying to say by sending such photos, that if a man was to do the same to his female colleague in whom he is interested (but she had not expressed interest in him), he would be considered as obscene and sexually harrassing her??? I think that ideas about liberation should apply to both sexes indiscriminately, otherwise they involve hypocrisy. How many women on these boards would be flattered to receive such an sexual initiative of someone who is interested in her???????? Just curious.
I don't agree completely Nina. They have both expressed the desire to be in a relationship with each other, they must know each other quite well. He just hasn't taken the last step yet. Maybe she's just trying to prod him along...or flirting in another way. Also, while it's true that things should be equal between men and women, we are still different (being more visually stimulated for a pertinent example) and I would think more men would be ok with this situation than if it were turned around.