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Old 07-17-2007, 07:03 AM   #1
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Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

Hey all.. I've been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks now.. Things are progressing, however, very slowly. At this point in time we are sexual with each other, talk everyday on the phone, see each other a couple times a week.. I even stayed the night with him last weekend. I met one of his family members over the weekend who absolutely adored me so I think that scored me some brownie points. However, I'm unsure about a thing or two.. Although his actions are speaking very loud, his words are not. Most guys are super sweet at this point, saying they miss you, etc.. all the mushy guy stuff they say, but he isn't. I asked him about it, and he said it takes time for him to open up like that. Which I understand because I look at it like his actions are speaking way louder than his lack of words and lack of mushy stuff. My question is, At 6 weeks of dating someone where would a "normal" relationship be at. I know every relationship is different, but I just want to know what the average is.

I also have another question.. I am being super sweet to this guy.. that is just how I am. I have read and I hear that "men love b*tches" but I am not like that and no matter how hard I try, I just can't be. He seems to like that I am a good girl, but I'm afraid he won't fall in love with me because I'm not the b*tch like most men seem to love. In the same way that girls like bad boys.. do guys tend to go for the bad girl?

 
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Old 07-17-2007, 07:15 AM   #2
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

Hi

Can I ask you how old you guys are? That has a lot to do with things. Some guys just aren't mature enough to talk about how they feel....they tend to hold it all in. I dated someone for years who just was not the mushy type at all....and I like you, was very sweet, accommodating and affectionate. Never once was he, except when it pertained to sex. Some men are like that. We were supposed to get married, but we broke up. Could not spend the rest of my life with someone who just couldn't give me what I needed........emotionally and physically, so you have your work cut out for you. Good luck.

 
Old 07-17-2007, 07:18 AM   #3
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

I'm 27, He's 28... I know he has it in him to be the mushy type and show his emotions, he was like that with his ex.. is it possible that it is just taking him time to open up? I'm not sure how open we should be at 6 weeks.

 
Old 07-17-2007, 07:21 AM   #4
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

Quote:
Originally Posted by skittley80 View Post
Hey all.. I've been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks now.. Things are progressing, however, very slowly. Although his actions are speaking very loud, his words are not. Most guys are super sweet at this point, saying they miss you, etc.. all the mushy guy stuff they say, but he isn't. I asked him about it, and he said it takes time for him to open up like that. Which I understand because I look at it like his actions are speaking way louder than his lack of words and lack of mushy stuff. My question is, At 6 weeks of dating someone where would a "normal" relationship be at. I know every relationship is different, but I just want to know what the average is.

I also have another question.. I am being super sweet to this guy.. that is just how I am. I have read and I hear that "men love b*tches" but I am not like that and no matter how hard I try, I just can't be. He seems to like that I am a good girl, but I'm afraid he won't fall in love with me because I'm not the b*tch like most men seem to love. In the same way that girls like bad boys.. do guys tend to go for the bad girl?

Like you said every relationship is different and it is the people that make the relationship different. Some guys open up a little slower than others and his actions seems quite normal to me considering that it has only been 6 weeks..not that long at all! He will open up in time...you just have to be patient for now.

As far as you being a "good girl"...well I don't agree with men liking "bad girls". I mean why would a man want to be with someone who constantly acts like a bi*ch!!! Just makes no sense to me. If your friend wanted a bad girl, then I'm sure he would be with one. You shouldn't let that worry ou and please don't ever consider changing from a good girl to a bad one just to please someone. Stay the sweet person you are and let him love you for who you are!

I'm sure things will be fine! You just need to give it time!
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Old 07-17-2007, 08:23 AM   #5
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

I would much rather have a good girl.

 
Old 07-17-2007, 09:23 AM   #6
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

It has only been 6 weeks. It took me 4-5 months to open up to my boyfriend.
Just give him time and space and be patient. Im not saying he will open up- or not. I do not know. And how he was with his ex, he perhaps wont be like that with you straight away. How long since they broke up? How long was he with his ex for? Longer than 6 weeks?
Just keep an open mind is all im saying and give it time. You can always look over the situation in a few weeks/ months.
And another thing- make sure youre not making all the moves in the relationship. Guys like to work for a girl, they enjoy the chase. So maybe take a few steps back- maybe thatll bring him out of his shell.
Goodluck!

 
Old 07-17-2007, 10:40 AM   #7
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

Quote:
Originally Posted by apple_juice View Post
It has only been 6 weeks. It took me 4-5 months to open up to my boyfriend.
Just give him time and space and be patient. Im not saying he will open up- or not. I do not know. And how he was with his ex, he perhaps wont be like that with you straight away. How long since they broke up? How long was he with his ex for? Longer than 6 weeks?
Just keep an open mind is all im saying and give it time. You can always look over the situation in a few weeks/ months.

And another thing- make sure youre not making all the moves in the relationship. Guys like to work for a girl, they enjoy the chase. So maybe take a few steps back- maybe thatll bring him out of his shell.
Goodluck!
I HATE "the chase". I'd rather a girl be honest, . . . even forward. But then, I'm not a typical guy though, so not sure what my posts can contribute.

Last edited by EDC_Light; 07-17-2007 at 10:41 AM.

 
Old 07-17-2007, 11:22 AM   #8
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

Lol, iknow it sounds silly but i think it is crucial...for a guy to chase the girl. not because i am old fashioned. but because thats how the majority of men work-they need to work for you, chase you. blah i cant describe it very well! maybe someone can help me out lol

 
Old 07-17-2007, 12:04 PM   #9
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

Quote:
Originally Posted by apple_juice View Post
Lol, iknow it sounds silly but i think it is crucial...for a guy to chase the girl. not because i am old fashioned. but because thats how the majority of men work-they need to work for you, chase you. blah i cant describe it very well! maybe someone can help me out lol
Are you saying, men chasing someone that they KNOW likes them? If that's the case, then I would agree. But for me, to even get to that point, I would kind of like a hint!

 
Old 07-17-2007, 12:05 PM   #10
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

oh yeah, def they have to know the girl is interested...

 
Old 07-17-2007, 06:31 PM   #11
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

you call everyday, you're desperate..you don't, you're not interested... can you please make up your minds...btw, "good" girls don't act like that; like the other guy said, we'd like some indication that you're actually interested, otherwise it really isn't that fair.

 
Old 07-17-2007, 09:24 PM   #12
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

I sure don't want a b*tch or a bad girl. I like nice honest women with good morals. Someone that I can trust and enjoy being with.

 
Old 07-18-2007, 02:16 AM   #13
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

It's all part of life's rich pageant...all these courtship dances with rituals and milestones...I agree with letting the man do most of the running, and having said that, when he catches you, then the games stop and you are your true self. Don't make the poor guy work for every little indication, show him that you appreciate the efforts he has gone to to "catch" you. For example, you can wait til he calls, but then let him know without a doubt that you are ecstatic that he did call..no silly hard-to-get games. Yes, OP, every couple is different. Did your BF have a traumatic breakup from his ex? That would make him a bit wary of putting it all out there, but from what you have said, the non verbal cues are all saying full steam ahead. Sera

 
Old 07-18-2007, 06:42 AM   #14
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

I agree with sereph. Also you siad that he and his ex was mushy tohgether, how do you know that? Did you know the ex, were you waiting on teh side lines for him or did he cheat on her with you? the reason I ask is not to scold you but there would be your answer, of course he is cautious.

6 weeks isnt long, this is still courtship and he needed tell you everything or act like a be is head over heals. If he wants to play it slow then if you care that is what you will have to do. He is 28 and I am sure he is not looking for a one night stand, he is looking for a woman to be a good mother not someone who wants to play games or pretend she is a bad girl.

I am a biker, so is dh. I am very attractive and know that men look at me, dh knows this as well. I try to be modest and do not make a fuss , i do come accross as a bruser because well where I am from women here are corperate witches and dont like someone who is a stay at home mom that looks like me and yet still very smart. I am a mother and wife and act as such. But to be a bad girl? Well that is up to my husband and I when we are in private.

Being a bad girl isnt going to get the man at all , ever. It will make a 28 year old run off and think you are not good material. Men want honesty and mother potential even if htey dont think they want it. They want to know that if they are in a jam there is a woman there to get their back. That doesnt mind breaking a nail to help change that flat tire when AAA didnt come soon enough. They know that when they leave in the morning that some strange guy isnt going to be coming in the back door and disrespecting their home. That their family is more important than any job or career, yes men like successful women BUT they still like to be the bread winner regardless of what they tell you. they wont care that your hair has baby food in it , just as long as the baby was fed with most of it.

6 weeks is way to fast to want a man to drop his guard, men do not work this way, it is not the way they were made. Besides if he was mushy with you and told you everything, wouldnt you think he weak? Most women do when a man does that too soon. Be patient and see what happens. You can not expect him to be something he is not or something you thought he was with someone else. It will either happen or not. good luck dear

 
Old 07-20-2007, 07:35 AM   #15
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Re: Progress after 6 weeks. AND Do guys like "good" girls?

Well I feel better about the progress we are making.. I finally got the courage yesterday to ask him what he thought about him and I. We were hanging out at his cousins house, who absolutely adores me lol, and his cousin kept saying how perfect I am for him and how he "approves" of me, he never approved of any of his prior girlfriends, so I felt pretty good. When we got back to his place, I asked what he thought about him and I.. He said things are going good.. He said that we started out at the bottom, and have built it up over the last 6 weeks.. he said this week with meeting his family and such that we have taken a big step up. He said we still have a ways to go before we are at the top of the peak.. but that with each step we take he needs to get comfortable with it before he can go to the next. This is good, right? I have also noticed him getting sweeter with his words, which is something I was afraid of. He called me sweetheart yesterday for the first time. And when we were laying with each other, he was holding me tight and told me how pretty my hair is.. I think I might have found a winner

 
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