It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-01-2007, 08:48 AM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 105
shannonkristin HB User
between a rock and a hard place...

to pretty much sum this whole thing up... im tired of even being here. I am a stay at home mom to my 1 year old. I work out every day and am in better shape than i was before pregnancy. i am oly 22 years old while he is 28. every day he comes home i am showered with makeup and hair done. he acts like im nothing special, and i wait on him hand and foot. i manage to keep myself up, the house and have dinner made all by the time he walks in the door. i am a very attractive girl, but he doesn't care. the person that he acted like when we met is completely different than he is now. i got him to stop medicating himself with perscription drugs along with his bipolar meds, and he acts like he resents me for it. he needs to grow up. [deleted] i am his fiancee, hes been with ALOT of women before me, and many who i have seen pictures of and they dont even compare to me. it makes me want to just take my child and go... the other night i found something that i didn't like in his cell phone and he had the nerve to choke me... he tells me hes sorry, but i know i can do better... i could date and find someone who will take care of me emotionally. and not hurt me and my feelings and be romantic to me. im tired of feeling like in not desired. i dont want to be alone... but i know thats something that is gong to happen, because i cant do this anymore.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-15-2007 at 08:10 PM. Reason: The sexual aspects of your relationship problem don't belong on this board. Use the Sexual Health boards.

 
Old 08-01-2007, 09:58 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,223
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: between a rock and a hard place...

you need to get out from under that rock.....he's being abusive. There is no reason to stay with a guy who chokes you.....

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-01-2007, 10:03 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 617
tarheel247 HB User
Re: between a rock and a hard place...

if you are soooo unhappy then what is holding you back from lving this guy? there are plenty of happy single moms out there. and if you are what you say you are..you shouldn't have a problem finding someone to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
__________________
This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
Those who forget the past are destined to repeat it.

 
Old 08-01-2007, 10:59 AM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 105
shannonkristin HB User
Re: between a rock and a hard place...

part of it is the fear that i'll be alone. i gave up my job because we can't afford the child care. i dont have a car, and have bad credit (which is my fault) i just cant get myself to make the move. his mother once told me that she would get my child taken away from me and prove me an unfit mother. which im defiantly not, and i dont even think i need to justify that. its just like every morning i wake up hopeful and i get nothing.

 
Old 08-01-2007, 11:05 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 617
tarheel247 HB User
Re: between a rock and a hard place...

take the time you have during the day to work on your credit. i know an awesome site that has a lot of useful info and a forum like this to help people repair credit. theres books too. look up "good credit is sexy". its an awesome book too. thats something that you can do to pass time and still get ahead.

you would have to be proven unfit to have your kid taken away. i've seen judges give kids back to crackheads after they complete the required programs. and child abusers too. you shouldn't worry at all about that..unless they know something we don't. anyway the court system is for the moms most always...

take a class online to improve your career skills. or to get some new ones. then if you decide to lv you will have that to help you find a job other then flipping burgers at mcdonalds for minimum wage.
__________________
This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
Those who forget the past are destined to repeat it.

 
Old 08-01-2007, 04:58 PM   #6
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 486
Ms_ENV27 HB User
Re: between a rock and a hard place...

Chokes you cause he got caught? reminds me all to well of my ex..

It will only get worse with time.

and when you finally do leave. You will BE SOOOO relieved. Finally you could start you new life!

Don't be scared to be alone. Do u have family to stay with? The last thing you should be worrying about is being alone, id rather be alone ANY DAY then unhappy everyday.

Men like him want to be the superior one. It is going to be unbearable living with someone like him for the rest of your life.

Until you find a man one day that does treat you with love and affection everyday, my dear you have no idea what your missing.

I have a feeling you're going to make the right decision. I think you already want it bad enough.

He is going to be superior to you for the rest of your life You will never win. And don't let his guilt tripping you stop you from doing what you need to do.

Last edited by Ms_ENV27; 08-01-2007 at 04:59 PM.

 
Old 08-01-2007, 05:00 PM   #7
Facilitator
(female)
 
Seraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,674
Seraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB User
Re: between a rock and a hard place...

It doesn't sound like there is very much left in this relationship. I understand that you feel stuck because of finances, but is it really worth the pain? Your BF will still have to pay child support if you separate, maybe enough to pay for day care so you can get a job and get independent. Life is too short to be trickled away in this manner. Leave him while you still have some self-esteem. Don't worry aobut what his mother says, like the other poster said, it takes real evil behaviour to lose your mother's rights to your child.

 
Old 08-02-2007, 05:36 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: between a rock and a hard place...

Quote:
Originally Posted by shannonkristin View Post
it makes me want to just take my child and go....
Then that is exactly what you need to do. He has beaten you down to the point mentally where you don't think you can do anything without him and that is definately not the case. He actually choked you because you saw something in his cell phone! Is that the first time he has put his hands on you? I can guarentee that it won't be the last.

Do you have any family you can stay with? Anybody that can help you out until you get on your feet? If not there are people you can call who will help you find a job and a place to live and even help you out with child care costs. Pay no attention to what his mother says, he obviosly gets his obnoxious and manipulative behavior from her. She can't prove something that doesn't exist no matter how hard she tries.

Trust me, the situation you are in will never get better. Get out while you still can. It is so much easier since you are not married yet. Go to the family court and file for custody and child support. The people there can also help point you in the right direction for any assistance you may need to get on your feet. Don't let the fear of being alone stop you. There are so many decent men out there who don't feel the need to bully women. You will feel so much better about yourself once you are away from him and your child will be much better off too.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
stuck between a rock and a hard place brwneyedgrl24 Relationship Health 11 03-15-2010 10:15 AM
torn between my 12 yr old and my partner dolejaly Relationship Health 40 08-05-2009 02:42 PM
His Mom coming in between us.. what should I do? Abbygal Relationship Health 7 03-28-2008 12:32 PM
Link Between Alzheimer's and Statin Drugs DannyTX Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 11 02-13-2008 02:46 PM
Stuck between a Rock and a Hard Place - Opinions from men and women please! jozi209 Relationship Health 10 02-05-2008 06:30 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (260), rosequartz (245), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (87), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1136), MSJayhawk (941), Apollo123 (855), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (769), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (654), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:16 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!