It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-10-2007, 11:54 AM   #1
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lincoln, NE, USA
Posts: 92
mlswim HB User
Pessimism ruining my relationship

My bf and I have been dating for almost a year and a half. Every time he doesn't call me when he says he's going to or doesn't answer when I call him or something like that, I always think of the worst (like he's dead, or cheating on me). I'm especially keen on the cheating one. I live far away from him and only see him on the weekends. There are a few girls that flirt with him constantly and he says he likes the attention. Recently they both began txting him. He says he'll show me all of the txts they send him, but I can't help but feel like he really won't, he'll just show me the harmless ones. Also, he has his phone set to where if his inbox gets too full it'll automatically delete each message (he'll have 50 messages in his inbox and get another one and still have 50 but it'll delete the least recent). Last night he was hanging out with this girl and his brother. I read the txts she sent him after he left and they were like "I had a lot of fun" and "I want to hang out with you again" and stuff like that. Pretty much what someone would txt another person after a first date. And then this morning he "couldn't sleep" and was txting her again and then there were two messages deleted from his outbox so he only had 48/50. I immediately thought that he was trying to hide something from me. He said they were just forwards.

Will I ever get over this or am I doomed to spend the rest of my life sullen and alone?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-10-2007, 12:32 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 22
heather071376 HB User
Re: Pessimism ruining my relationship

First off...In my opinion if you are always feeling this way you need to ask yourself if this is something that you want to live with the rest of your life??? Have you told him the way it makes you feel when he talks to these other women to the extent that he does ??? And if you have told him how it makes you feel and he doesnt take your feelings into consideration why stick around...just my opinion. I understand that you and him only get to spend weekends together but if he knows this type of behavior bothers you and upsets you and he continues to do it then he doesnt care! I know that may seem harsh but trust me I have been where you are now and its hard to maybe think about your life without him in it but you have to look at the long term effects

 
Old 08-10-2007, 12:34 PM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 17
psiloveyou HB User
Re: Pessimism ruining my relationship

I can relate to you. I am also very pessimistic. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and just like you I think that he's either cheating or dead when he does not pick up the phone or doesn't call me when he said he would.
However I do feel like you have more of a reason to worry than I do. Your boyfriend has already admitted that he likes the attention of these girls. I think you need to tell him that it bothers you. You have every right to be suspicious about him deleting those 2 text messages. I can't say that I think that your boyfriend is cheating on you but you should be cautious and also tell him about how you feel about these girls and all the texting. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't like to be in the situation your in. Plus he might be leading them on by texting them back even if it is just "innocent" talk.

 
Old 08-10-2007, 12:37 PM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 17
psiloveyou HB User
Re: Pessimism ruining my relationship

By the way getting all of these pessimistic thoughts will never go away unless you leave him or he stops. And if he doesn't stop then you should leave him for your own good.

 
Old 08-10-2007, 12:42 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,371
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: Pessimism ruining my relationship

stop taking the blame!
it's not pessimism, it's your gut instinct.....LISTEN TO IT!!!!
this guy is a player.......50 messages?
give me a break.....he's a player and he's playing you and how many others....

 
Old 08-10-2007, 01:23 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Kszan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,995
Kszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB User
Re: Pessimism ruining my relationship

I agree with Rose (as usual). Because the fact of the matter is that a guy who has a girlfriend would only have texts on his phone from the girlfriend or his friends, but not from all of these random girls he keeps meeting.

I think he's totally screwing around behind your back and he needs to be kicked to the curb. He lives too far away from you anyway, you should find someone closer to you whom you can see more often because this is just ridiculous!

 
Old 08-10-2007, 01:37 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: Pessimism ruining my relationship

I agree with Rose too! This is your gut instinct talking hon and he is playing you for a damn fool (and probably those other girls too). Besides, isn't this the same moron who forbid you from getting a tatoo? Have some self-respect and drop this loser!

 
Old 08-11-2007, 10:22 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,651
StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
Re: Pessimism ruining my relationship

Count me in the agreeing with Rose group.

You are being taken advantage of and played. Maybe you're cool with your man getting all these texts from other women, sexy/flirty ones to boot, hiding crap from you and telling you to your face how he enjoys the attention he gets from other women who flirt with him? This after devoting a year and a half to him.

I know I wouldn't be. Let the other women have him! You deserve better.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Relationship OCD ruining my life anxietyfreak Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 15 03-15-2011 05:21 AM
Ruining my Relationship Llama Bipolar Disorder 7 06-28-2009 05:34 PM
Bad Short-Term Memory and Pessimism: Depression? Epicus Depression 16 05-01-2009 12:46 PM
Help , I am ruining my relationship! OnePrincess Relationship Health 11 04-03-2009 08:50 PM
Anxiety is ruining my life :( princesscol Anxiety 1 10-08-2007 01:56 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (274), rosequartz (255), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (160), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (105), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1015), Apollo123 (911), Titchou (861), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (758), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:50 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!