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Old 08-17-2007, 07:55 AM   #1
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Exclamation The Next Step

My boyfriend, of about 1 and a half years, and I will be moving into an apartment together in about two weeks. Any words of wisdom or advice!?!?

 
Old 08-17-2007, 08:30 AM   #2
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Re: The Next Step

Don't think you have to spend every minute of every day with him just because you are living together. Your "alone time" is just as important now as it ever was. Try to spend a night or so a week with your friends and maintain your other relationships. Way too many couples get caught up in having to be together constantly and it's really not healthy to be together all of the time. I think I would go nuts if my husband didn't go out with the guys once in a while and vice versa.

Is the first time you are going to live with a boyfriend? Remember, there is always an adjustment period since you are going to see them in ways you haven't seen them before. It may take a little time for things to settle and become comfortable so don't freak out if things are a little awkward at first.

Congratulations on the big step and the best of luck to you!

 
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Old 08-17-2007, 09:07 AM   #3
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Re: The Next Step

Thanks Happymom for the great advice.. which I totally agree with!

This will be my first live-in boyfriend. We've spent weekends at eachother's places, but that's about it. I've seen some pretty unpleasants sides to him.. but I'm sure a few more will pop up in the first few months, for both of us!!

 
Old 08-17-2007, 09:28 AM   #4
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Re: The Next Step

Hi Jen,

Good Luck to you. I am sure that if you respect each other and each other's space, everything else will fall into place. Living with someone can either be very easy or very hard.

Try to respect him and hopefully he will do the same for you. It will be fine.

Are you excited?

 
Old 08-17-2007, 10:28 AM   #5
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Re: The Next Step

Thanks DMA
I am very excited about it, for many reasons. We've had lots of "are you sure about this" talks! And we both know that we need to be open and honest about something that is bothering us, and that we need to respect each other's space.

I'm not worried about things going horriblly wrong. But I'm also logical enough to know that it won't be easy all the time. It's a big change.. but change doesn't have to mean bad!!

 
Old 08-17-2007, 11:39 AM   #6
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Re: The Next Step

Quote:
Originally Posted by jen52983 View Post
My boyfriend, of about 1 and a half years, and I will be moving into an apartment together in about two weeks. Any words of wisdom or advice!?!?
Hi

First of all, good luck and ... a lot of patience! Patience is even more important than luck.

I can think of a few things to say, but mostly you will only discover the "blind spots" in your relationship along the way, and only then you will know what to do.

Anyway, basically, here are some points to be remembered by the two of you:

1. Be polite to each other. Say thanks, sorry, please... when appropriate.
2. Keep your privacy and personal space.
3. Share chores.
4. Maintain your appearance and health.
5. Do things together.
6. Work toward a common goal (first find one, of course).
7. Avoid nagging and complaining.
8. Have a routine, but make it flexible.
9. Accept that life is made of ups and downs. Nobody can be happy 100% of the time.

Best to you.

 
Old 08-17-2007, 11:58 AM   #7
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dma11663 HB User
Re: The Next Step

good advice! I am sure it will work out. It will be an adjustment and a change, but change is good sometimes!

 
Old 08-17-2007, 12:24 PM   #8
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Re: The Next Step

Yes, it is really important not to take each other for granted, and to have your own spaces and independence. It IS a big step to move in with someone and it is so important that this does not turn into emotional or other type of dependency. Good luck.

 
Old 08-17-2007, 08:11 PM   #9
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Re: The Next Step

May be trivial, but don't ignore the housework rules. Don't slip into it becoming your area. Start as you mean to go on. Remember- today, you iron a shirt, tomorrow you will be fulltime laundress. Resentment will soon follow if this area is not regulated fairly. Don't accept any male helplessness in regard to basic housework, then again, don't be too critical at honest effort. This is the stuff that can eat away at your contentment. The respect for each other's space etc is a given, but housework and the mundane daily living mini-dramas is where it can come to grief. Sera

 
Old 08-18-2007, 09:22 AM   #10
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Re: The Next Step

Thanks so much for all the words of wisdom. It's all great advice, and stuff that I completely agree with, and have thought about and talk about with my boyfriend. Now it's just a matter of putting what we know into action!

If things start to crumble or we're on the verge of killing each other, you know you'll see me here!! haha

Thanks again, you're all wonderful!

 
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