Never see my husband!! - Relationship Health Message Board

LottyLiz · 08-30-2007, 07:27 AM

And when I say never, I mean almost never. Oct. 2nd will be our 8th year anniversary. We met 9 yrs ago, through of all things, my daughter. Oh yeah, he's 14 years younger than me.

He is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am on disability for some pretty serious issues which cause intractable pain. When we met, I was a working single mom, who had within the last year come off of a 7 yr relationship which produced two beautiful children. He has been with me through everything and has never been anything but loving and supportive. When I had to quit working he left a lower paying job for a construction job.

He treats my kids as if they were his own and as I had a full hysterectomy we won't be having any of our own.

Here's my problem: He's become a construction supervisor and due to where we live he has had to take a job which takes him out of town for weeks and weeks at a time. He is usually home for about 3 days every 6 weeks or so.

He loves his work and he loves his family. When we discussed this, I thought I could handle it. Well I am finding out that what I thought and reality are 2 TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS!! He makes great money which has allowed us to do things we couldn't have done otherwise. I have household help and I can do things with and for my kids that otherwise I couldn't have done.

So what's my problem you ask. Well, I miss my husband desparately. My kids need their dad around more, especially my 13 year old son. Even though I have household help, there are still hundreds of things that I can't do anymore that I need him for.

I know that I am being petty and selfish but I can't help it. What kind of marriage is this? I am starting to feel like a booty call every 6 weeks or so. It's so not true, but that's the way I am feeling.

I have discussed my feelings somewhat with him and he agrees that it's not ideal, but he doesn't know what to do about it anymore than I do. Keep in mind that right now we are 2500 miles apart and it's hard to have a decent conversation when the time difference has us all mucked up.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading such a long post.

Lizzie

tertree · 08-30-2007, 07:32 AM

why not go visit him during these seperation times? jump on a plane and you would be there in no time! spend a weekend together with or without kids.
it takes 2 to keep the relationship together....sounds like its your turn to do something for him....visit him

happymom28 · 08-30-2007, 07:40 AM

Isn't there any way for the family to move closer to where his work is? I mean, you say due to where you live he has to take jobs that take him out of town. Are all his jobs in the same area or does he jump around? Is there more of a central location you could move to if that is the case?

LottyLiz · 08-30-2007, 07:46 AM

Not possible. Firstly, I don't travel well due to my condition. Secondly we don't have THAT kind of money. And thirdly, I have two kids in school.

I am not sure what you mean when you say it's time for me to do something for him. I take care of our home, our kids, HIS dogs, pay all the bills, do the maintenance on both our cars, help with homework, referee arguments between the kids and these are just what comes from the top of my head. I do my fair share and then some. Now don't get me wrong, I'd do a lot of this even if he were home every night.

Guess what he's doing during the Labor Day weekend? He's going camping with some of the guys from work. I think it's great, but would rather he come home, but of course he can't for money reasons. The only real problem I have with it is that he will be out of cell reach so I won't be able to talk to him for three days.

Believe me, I would LOVE to just jump on a plane and go see him, but the logistics are a little off balance right now.

Lizzie

LottyLiz · 08-30-2007, 07:48 AM

Happy - Nope! He's based out of Louisville, but in the last few months hes been to GA, FL, IN, IL and now WA.

If it were that simple it wouldn't be a problem!!