I need your help.Pls. tell me what kind of friends are they ? Is it worth it . - Relationship Health Message Board

angellocsin84 · 09-01-2007, 12:59 AM

What kind of friends,are they fair weathered ??

glamourgal · 09-01-2007, 01:13 AM

They definitely do not sound like real friends! A real friend is there for you when you need them too, and a real friend doesn't ignore you. I wouldn't waste my time on them if I were you. It sounds like you are just lonely and that is why you are thinking about going to the birthday party. I would move on and try to make some new, real friends who aren't into drugs, and who will be there for you when you need them. Maybe you can join a book club, or something that interests you---that way you can meet some new friends with the same interests. I met several new friends that way and we have gotten close and have a lot of fun. Good luck!

Larrylou'smom · 09-01-2007, 01:28 AM

I have friends like this as well. I dont' know if I'd call them fair weather friends, just people I have established a rather superficial emotional intimacy with, and it just hasn't gone any deeper. Of course it really can't go deeper if they don't return calls or emails or whatever.

What really concerns me is that they do drugs. If you are not into that kind of thing, it may be best to keep them as just friendly acquaintances and not hope for anything deeper with them and keep looking for someone who shares your values and rules for life to be deeper friends with.

happymom28 · 09-01-2007, 06:17 AM

First, they certainly don't sound like "real" friends. Really more acquaintances than anything. I have had these "friends" and I take them for what it is worth. For example, if they call and I'm not busy I will talk but I won't go out of my way or change my plans for them.

I agree that the concerning thing is their drug use. If you are not into this scene then it is for the best that you don't hang around them. They don't share your same values or outlook on life so why be with them? There are plenty of people out there who, like you, value friendships and want a deeper connection. Sure, it is a little more difficult as we get older to form these bonds, but it does happen. I would keep looking and not waste too much time or energy on these people.

Kszan · 09-01-2007, 07:26 AM

What you're describing is not a "friend". That is someone you would put in the "acquaintence" category. Friends are people who are there for you when you need them. Aquaintences are people you just see casually sometimes whenever the time allows. That's the difference. And as you get older, you will be lucky if you can count your true friends on one hand, as your aquaintence list gets a lot larger. That's just a fact of life.