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Old 09-15-2007, 11:18 AM   #1
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how do you forget?

how do you forget about someone who you once (and still do) love?

I cannot seem to forget my ex and it has been 10months now. I still cry at least once/twice a day over it and am devastated over the entire breakup. He is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and go to bed at night. I know he has already moved on and could care less of my existence. But I can't forget.

I have been doin the whole NC THING but it is just not doing it for me, I am still suffering many months later. I do all those little cliches people say and try to keep myself busy but still at he end of the day I cry, or while I do those so called things to keep myself busy I think of him, what he is doing etc.

I am just so hurt that it is ruining my enitre health. I have other anxiety problems going on and depression nonsene. This is just adding to everything.I have been in therapy ever since the breakup and am still the same, it sucks that therapy nonsense is not helping me in any way, completely useless.

I still have images of things we use to do or places we would go and cannot erase those. Sometimes I think maybe I should just contact him and tell him how I feel, he would probably see me as a desperate loser who never moved on, but then again I think that is what I am. It just breaks me to tears that everything he once told me is all gone down the drain.

I know I am depressed, devastated, whatever you want to call it but I still want to forget, even if that means for me to live my life all alone I don't want to be crying everyday over it and having vivid images.

can anyone help?

 
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Old 09-15-2007, 12:49 PM   #2
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Re: how do you forget?

I think this is a big mistake that a lot of people make in regards to dealing with feelings. We don't really know how to deal with the bad feelings so we try to get away from them, but that doesn't really help.

I think the thing to do is to admit to yourself how you're feeling. You're sad, you're depressed, you miss your ex. You wish you had him back with you again. Tell yourself that. Once you come to terms with your sadness...then, perhaps, you can move forward. Once we actually verbalize our feelings to ourselves - it can take away the intensity of them.

To use an example...I used to get really bad panic attacks. And whenever one would come on I would start freaking out, like "Oh my god, I'm having a panic attack, oh no, what am I going to do, ohnoohnoohno." Nowadays they aren't an issue anymore, because in the rare instance that I feel one coming on, I say to myself, "Oh, I'm starting to have a panic attack." I just calmly admit it to myself and accept that that is what is happening...and within seconds the feeling passes.

So when you feel that sadness, tell yourself "I am depressed. I am sad. I miss him." And then you start to see...those are just feelings. Revel in them. It sounds like you never got a chance to properly mourn your lost relationship. You may have had lots of therapy, but you never really came to terms with your feelings...they still overpower you. Because maybe you haven't really faced them?

 
Old 09-15-2007, 04:25 PM   #3
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Re: how do you forget?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsyArcher View Post
I think this is a big mistake that a lot of people make in regards to dealing with feelings. We don't really know how to deal with the bad feelings so we try to get away from them, but that doesn't really help.

I think the thing to do is to admit to yourself how you're feeling. You're sad, you're depressed, you miss your ex. You wish you had him back with you again. Tell yourself that. Once you come to terms with your sadness...then, perhaps, you can move forward. Once we actually verbalize our feelings to ourselves - it can take away the intensity of them.

To use an example...I used to get really bad panic attacks. And whenever one would come on I would start freaking out, like "Oh my god, I'm having a panic attack, oh no, what am I going to do, ohnoohnoohno." Nowadays they aren't an issue anymore, because in the rare instance that I feel one coming on, I say to myself, "Oh, I'm starting to have a panic attack." I just calmly admit it to myself and accept that that is what is happening...and within seconds the feeling passes.

So when you feel that sadness, tell yourself "I am depressed. I am sad. I miss him." And then you start to see...those are just feelings. Revel in them. It sounds like you never got a chance to properly mourn your lost relationship. You may have had lots of therapy, but you never really came to terms with your feelings...they still overpower you. Because maybe you haven't really faced them?

how do I come to terms with them? you have made some excellent points, I never got closure he just called me one day and kicked me out of his life after 2.5 yrs of feeding me lies on how much he loved me and that we would have a future together and all that other BS. There were so many questions and things I have remaining unasnwered, un said and I don't know. I am so pathetic to be sitting here like this many many months later. One of the therapist would tell me to tell yourself "it is ok to be sad": but even after 10 months I have to keep saying that and I see not difference? it just doesnt make sense why has there not been any positive change it just keeps getting worse . I don;t know maybe I don't know the techniques and am doing something wrong?

Last edited by lostsoul12; 09-15-2007 at 05:02 PM.

 
Old 09-15-2007, 05:42 PM   #4
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Re: how do you forget?

Lostsoul, you probably really don't want to hear this, but I'm going to give you a very honest answer. The truth of the matter is you won't ever forget him. It's impossible to just wipe him and all the memories you have of him from your mind. The real issue here is that you still have a lot of emotional attachment to those thoughts of him and the fact that you still love him is exactly why those feeling aren't going away.

There is no hard and fast rule about how to break free of this. Everyone has their own way of coping and moving on. Sometimes, time is the only thing that works. For others, it's finding someone else that allows a person to forget. For some, it might be sinking themselves into their work or passions. Some of the most serious cases of heartache may require professional therapy if they start to interfere with daily functioning.

I realize that you have a lot of unresolved issues and questions, but I have to ask you this. If you had all the answers straight from his mouth, would that satisfy you? Would it make you feel better or worse to hear him say these things? Just make sure you know what you are doing with this before you do it.

I can say that in my own personal experience with heartache, the absolute most effective measure I've ever used to help me get over it faster was to eliminate all evidence of ever having been with that person. That means throwing out all love letters and pictures, erasing all phone numbers, email address, and any other form of communication so that it would be impossible to contact that person even if you wanted to. For me, that helps a lot, but that may not be the solution for you. All I can tell you is, you will get over this...it's only a question of when. Hang in there.

 
Old 09-15-2007, 06:58 PM   #5
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Re: how do you forget?

Hi,

It's funny how I stumbled across this board at such a time in my life. I am going through the same thing, except mine has been only two months. We were married for seven years, always struggling to keep it together, yet I never thought it would completely end. My mom recently passed away and I think I has a nervous breakdown, which caused me to leave my husband, who was at the time, not real sensitive to my "mom" issue. Well, he will not forgive me for leaving, despite my several attempts at tellimng him how wrong I was. Our problems are much deeper than me leaving, but, now my husband is filing fo a divorce. I am devastated!!! I also, see him in everything I do. Some of my very favorite things to do I can not toleratenow because the memories with him make me cry. Everything makes me cry. What is really sad is that he seems to cold about the entire situation. he calls it "self preservation". I call it not giving a crap about me. Regardless, I don't know how to feel better. I have two girls, not from him, their Dad was killed in a car accident. I am 100% grouchy ALL THE TIME! I feel like a horrible Mom. I can't even imagine seeing him with someone else. I'm sure in time I will feel better, but I want to feel better now!

 
Old 09-16-2007, 06:48 AM   #6
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Re: how do you forget?

Lostsoul-
Girl, I am so sorry you are feeling this way, but sweetie, as you know this is all part of life, and it's so much a part of what makes us who we are and makes us HUMAN.

I was where you are many years ago, and it was not a pleasant place for me at all. I cried, lamented, cried some more and thought that pain would never go away. My first true love was not easy to get over, and truth be known? I still think of him from time to time- even though I am happily married and totally comitted to my husband whom I know in my heart is my one and only soul mate.

I can't tell you how long these feelings will stick with you, but I can tell you that it is totally normal to hurt and it's normal to miss what you had with this man. You have already gotten some great advice here, so I don't know that I can add anything that will really help.

How to come to terms with this? Well, your relationship with your ex was a valid thing right? There were some good times and good feelings, right? But, something changed that made this relationship have to end, so maybe start from there. You don't have to tell it here, but what happened that ended this relationship? There had to be something, and if you have not accepted and dealt with what ended this relationship, you have not gotten to the point of closure on that chapter of your life.

If you are hurt and angry, then be hurt and angry. Cry all you need to, but you have to get it out of your system so you can move on towards the next chapter in your life. You will not be able to move on if you continue to dwell in the past. Take what you need from the relationship with your ex (the good, the happy) and then close the book on the things you don't need to keep (the sadness and pain).

It sounds like you are beating yourself up over this and that is having a huge impact on your outlook of the future and also affecting how you view yourself. You said in your post that you are a desperate loser, and that just isn't true. You are a person who loved and then lost that love. It happens to all of us sweetie. You are not a loser.

Take care. I promise you that this shall pass, and one day you will look back on this time and realize you are a stonger person because of it.

 
Old 09-16-2007, 07:07 AM   #7
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Re: how do you forget?

lostsoul, I just wanted to say hang in there. I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you, I just don't have any words of wisdom for you, having pined away for a lost love for over a decade myself.

But you know, the above poster is right. I know one thing for sure, I am a much, much stronger person now as a result of my heartbreak and all the mistakes I made.

I think one of the reasons you can't forget is because you don't want to. You still love him and still want that love back, all those wonderful memories, his arms around you, etc. you don't want to forget it. I really don't want to either, so I know how that goes. My ex was the only man I've ever kissed. Why on earth would I, how could I, forget the only man I've ever kissed in my life? The only man who's ever touched me? I think the best we can hope for, until and unless someone else comes along, is to put it in proper perspective. It's a real struggle to have to do this, and sometimes it takes years, but just seeing the situation really clearly, objectively, and what you can learn from it and how to move past it. Hugs to you, sweetie.

 
Old 09-16-2007, 09:22 AM   #8
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Re: how do you forget?

i'm sorry that you're suffering, but the biggest mistake you could make is to contact him. we all feel this way at some point in our lives, but you have to move on. no matter what the reason you're not together...it is over...and so try and somehow make it come back, just doesnt work, like a tooth you lost as a child, it is just gone. I konw the one time I concacted an ex with exactly the same situation, I regreted it for the rest of my life: I now call it a : " stupid tax" that i paid. I will never do that agin. try to just live life well, maybe keep a journal, or write short stories, that was my therapy. take care

 
Old 09-16-2007, 10:45 AM   #9
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thanks everyone

Thanks everyone for replying. You are all very supportive
In fact, all of your thoughts have a bigger effect on me than my USELESS therapist and you know why, because most of you are giving me real life experiences that you have been through and how you overcame those and some of you are also single like me and know how I feel. Whereas my therapist, who already has her little societal standard accomplished of being married and havig 2 kids, just keeps saying, things like "it is a phase, you will get over it, and there are plenty of fish in the sea" type of cliche lines. I have decided to stop the therapy nonsense I have been going to since it has done no good and is just eating up all my money. I am unemployed and my financial situation is pretty tight.

I think my biggest fear and problem is not that I miss my ex, but that accepting the fact that I will never get to fufill those dreams I once had, to have a baby one day. to have someone to love, or a wedding (things that I dreamed of having with my ex or at least with someone I love). Also, I do agree with one of the posters, I think deep down inside I don't want to forget him because I still love him. But I need to look at my sitation clearly, he has obviously moved on and could care less, so for me to sit here and dwell on old times is useless and causing more damage to my emotional and physical health. Also,I need to put more emphasis on the bad aspects of the relationship. He was no saint and really did affect my self esteem in a negative way.

I have always been single and it is not a new thing to me. In fact my single status is so known, that have had associates who haven't talked to me in so long call me after years and say things like "oh so wait, you were in a relaitonship and it ended? But, I am so use to seeing you single." Prior to him I was single for 23 years so now going back to that status is not a shock. I think I am irritated and also angry with myself that I let something like this consume my health physically and emotionally. I also recently got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and that made me evern more depressed. I just feel like since everything ended with the relationship everything has gone down hill and the the light that is suppose to be at the end of the tunnel no longer exists.

Thanks again everyone, you are all so wonderful. It is really hard to discuss these thoughts with anyone (as I have no one to discuss them with in real life besides my useless therapist). All of my social circle is made up of people with babies and marriages or long term relationship folks. All have rings on their fingers. So for me to go and complain about these feelings is like going and talking to my therapist (at least that is how I feel) I have done it before and again, it is the same response, or I end up hearing stories on how they met their mate and lines like "you prince will come." I also feel like they are either feeling sorry for me and think they have to mr. or mrs. match maker and try to hook me up when the reason I am opening up is not because I am looking to be hooked up.

Anyway, that doesn't matter to me anymore since I rarely even talk to them or hang out with them(since I hate being the third wheel and hearing about their family stories like what the husband is doin these days, what they will be name the next kid etc.) and if I do talk it is often after many months to check in on how things are going.

I will try to follow what many of you said. I just finished up graduate school a few months ago and am focusing on securing a good job right now. Eventually buying a home is my ultimate goal. I will stick with the NC that I have been doing and keep the old boxes of memories sealed in the corner of the garage. I hope day I can finally call myself a stronger person because of all this because at the way things have been and how I have beaten myself up I give myself an emmy for the weakest!

 
Old 09-16-2007, 11:00 AM   #10
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Re: how do you forget?

Just hang in there, lostsoul. You know you won't hear and cliche's from me, I've heard them all and each and every one turned out to be a big fat lie.

Yeah, therapy didn't really do much for me, either. Therapy can't really make it easier to live with an awful, nightmarish reality. The truth is what it is, and therapy can't make the truth untrue, and for me, that's what I need to ever feel better. I need the truth to no longer be true. But I've done everything possible to change the truth, I lost 20 pounds, spend hundreds of dollars on online dating sites, had friends set me up, hung out in clubs, bars, singles mixers and events, etc. and nothing. I can't change the truth that I'm single and thus far unloved, and apparently totally undesirable to the opposite sex. I can't make my ex apologize or tell me that I'm wrong about why he lied to me and left me. So for now at least, I have to live with this awful, ugly reality and truth. And just keep holdin gmy head up, be the best me that I know how to be, look for ways that I can improve without surrending my self esteem and loving myself unconditionally, and faith that I am where God wants me to be. I don't have to like it, I just have to trust that it's His plan for me. It's not easy, but it's the road we've been given to walk down. So hang tough, lostsoul.

 
Old 09-16-2007, 08:01 PM   #11
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Re: how do you forget?

I hope you are still feeling better. Even so, I wanted to send some extra support your way. You've gotten some really great advise, which I agree with so much. I think a really important part is to remember to be gentle on yourself. Don't feel as if you have to feel any certain way at any certain point in time. You feel what you feel and that is ok. I think when the time is right, is when you will feel better. For whatever reason, maybe that time just isn't right now.
It took me 2.5 years to get over my ex. A lot of it is what people have said - having to let go of, not him, but all the dreams of what I thought would be; trying to force myself to be over it and move on, since he had; not being able to come to terms with how it ended.
But, you know, in the end, I now feel that when I was ready for it to happen is when it happened. Not that I made myself ready or anything, it just finally happened. And like I said, it took me 2.5 years to get there, so don't worry about it only being 10 months since.
And I'm not a happy love story or anything. I am still single to this day. I've meet guys since, some before I was over it, and 1 since getting over it, but none have yet to work out. But now that I'm over my ex, I know that I'm ok and if it's meant to be then one day that right one will come along.
I hope you can trust that you are doing just fine also.

 
Old 09-17-2007, 10:22 PM   #12
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Re: how do you forget?

Hi Janet, thanks for the encouraging words And yes, Larrylou'smom, I know you are "cliche free" thanks for your reply. I know I have been VERY hard on myself and have made this entire thing take over my heart, mind and soul. But it is so difficult to even think positive when everything else in my life is also negative. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he was my first and most likely last serious relationship. Ever since I originally posted this thread and read all of your responses I must say, I do feel a little better. I will continue and focus on what else I can actually control and hope that slowly slowly this will also fade.And your right Janet, I guess 10months isnt anything, I have also met other people who have told me it took them more than a year to get over someone. From reading all of the responses from this thread, the past few days I have tried to think forward and what I want to accomplish in the next few weeks and months. I know it will take me time, and it is a slow process, but I will try, because I do not want to live 10 more months of this misery. Thanks again everyone for your kind words

Last edited by lostsoul12; 09-18-2007 at 09:41 AM.

 
Old 09-18-2007, 10:45 AM   #13
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Re: how do you forget?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostsoul12 View Post
Hi Janet, thanks for the encouraging words And yes, Larrylou'smom, I know you are "cliche free" thanks for your reply. I know I have been VERY hard on myself and have made this entire thing take over my heart, mind and soul. But it is so difficult to even think positive when everything else in my life is also negative. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he was my first and most likely last serious relationship. Ever since I originally posted this thread and read all of your responses I must say, I do feel a little better. I will continue and focus on what else I can actually control and hope that slowly slowly this will also fade.And your right Janet, I guess 10months isnt anything, I have also met other people who have told me it took them more than a year to get over someone. From reading all of the responses from this thread, the past few days I have tried to think forward and what I want to accomplish in the next few weeks and months. I know it will take me time, and it is a slow process, but I will try, because I do not want to live 10 more months of this misery. Thanks again everyone for your kind words

It is never an easy thing to do, to get over someone you loved. But as others have pointed out, this doesnt happen over night and it can take a long, long time. The key is to be good to yourself and dont be too hard on yourself. Keep positive. Accept the fact that there will be some bad days mixed in with the good days. Just stay strong.
What helped me get over an ex was to avoid all contact with him and to acept that I was going to feel really, really bad. But I also made positive plans which I think is the key to this- plan things for the future. Start a new hobby, like flying a plane, going to the gym, going on little days out, spending time with friends, meeting new people, learn a new language, plan a holiday etc etc. The list could go on. When you start to think of him, start reading a book or go for a run. You must force yourself to become distracted.
Im not saying things will get better overnight but I am sharing with you the things I did to make the pain ease gradually over time.
I wish you goodluck and keep in touch.

 
Old 09-29-2007, 05:14 AM   #14
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Re: how do you forget?

Dear lostsoul12, I read your original post 2 days ago but could not reply at that time, not that I did not want too but because your words cut straight to my heart so deep that it brought tears to my eyes and I could not see to wright. I could not believe that you used the exact same words that I wrote in my journal just two weeks ago.(She is my very first thought when I wake up and the last thought when I go to bed) I know that men should not cry but I do, not every day but it is so hard to hold back the tears from the pain in my heart of missing her so badly every day. It has been 10 months for me also. I went to therapy four nights a week 4 hours a night for I think 10 weeks and it did start to help me after a few weeks. I learned a lot about why I feel the way I do and how I could deal better with my daily life and plan in my heart dealing with a future without her in it. Accepting reality was one topic that I still struggle with and I think about often. The reality is she has told me she has no feelings for me and I must accept that no matter how hard it hurts. The other reality is that I know now that I will always love her and miss her and I accept this most of the time. I was just very lucky to have someone like her touch my life. Allot of people never get that lucky. I try to apply all the beautiful things I learned from her to my life. Their are so many beautiful things in this world and you need to try to find some friends to share them with. This board is a nice place to start but you also need people that you can see and touch. I find that when I start to feel bad and overwhelmed during the day sometimes and trust me It parilizes me sometimes. I just stop what I am doing, take a break and realize that I have no control over her feelings and their is nothing I can do about that. Then I think about all the nice things in this beautiful world and the people that love me and depend on me and how lucky I am. Sorry for rambling but you have a friend here and I will watch tis board more often and I know it will not be easy but try not to feel so bad things will work out. I know how you feel and you sound like you have a very loving heart just share it with people that are less fortinate then us and it will help you I think, It does me. Great Big Hug For You Chris

 
Old 09-30-2007, 09:22 AM   #15
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Re: how do you forget?

Hi Chris,
Thanks for the hug. I send a bunch back your way. Its surprising a lot of what you mentioned is exactly how I am. Looks like I found my twin who is unfortunately on a similar train as I am. I also have a hard time accepting reality and living in denial. Everything is like a roller coaster and has been for 10 months. Some days are always better than others. Since I originally posted this message, I do feel a little bit better. However, I am not where I want to be. I understand that point may take many more months or even years and I just have to be patient and accept that. And you are right, there are so many beautiful things in this world that need to be shared and expressed to one another; however that is difficult for me to do. I donít have any friends that I can openly communicate my real thoughts and feelings. ALL of my friends are in ďmarriedĒ worlds as I call it. Itís like black and white. We have nothing in common even when we do talk. Itís the same old boring stories I get stuck hearing about their kids, husbands and wives, birthday party planning, babysitter stories, anniversaries etc. I no longer call them. By all means, they are great people and in time of need I always available to help but as far as socializing/hanging out I donít bother to do that. If anything as pathetic as it sounds my therapist would be the only real life person I would consider as someone I can maybe talk to about things, but even that doesnít always work at times. Hopefully with time, I can meet some more friends that are single and with whom I can hang out and talk about a thing that doesnít involve married life topics only. I am glad this board does exist because there are some WONDERFUL people on here with excellent advice, thoughts, and inspiring words. In fact I have come across more people on here that have listened to me and provided me with encouragement than people in real life. It just amazes me how quick things can change and how you can be the person feeling on top of the world and not know a few months down the road you will be at the very bottom. Best of luck to you with things, take care

 
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