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Old 09-18-2007, 02:33 AM   #1
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Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

Ok, here's the deal. I have been friends with a woman for many years. She is married, I am not. Our relationship has always been platonic. There has been no question of it being otherwise as she has a family with 3 kids and a husband she likes and has religious values that I don't believe would ever allow her to consider having an affair. I'm not looking to have an affair with her. Every week we have movie night and sometimes we do other things as well. Occasionaly she goes into flirtation mode. For example, tonight we were the only people in the theater. Despite always being cold, she unzipped her sweater and pulled it sideways so there was as much cleavage showing as possibe, then bent over me several times to give me the full show. Now I'm sitting here wondering why. Am I imagining things? Is she just needing a little self-esteem boost? Is she just having fun at the expense of the pathetic single guy? Why do women do this?

 
Old 09-18-2007, 06:00 AM   #2
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

There could be many reasons, she could be basically satisfied with her marriage but a little bored and feeling like the dull, sexless house frow and wants to feel like a woman again and wants to flaunt her sexuality a little, it could be she's very unhappy and is just putting on a good show to the world and perhaps is trying to entice you, or it could be just a self esteem boost for her, who knows. But if you're not interested in an affair with her, that's all you need to know. Just be polite and don't hang around her alone anymore.

 
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Old 09-18-2007, 06:21 AM   #3
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

There could be several factors at play.

She could need an ego boost and enjoys having a single guy stare at her chest.

She just may have been hot and you read a little too much into it.

She could be testing the waters to see if you would make a move.

The bottom line here is that you don't want an affair with her, right? If that is the case then I would do as Larrylou'smom suggested and just not really hang out with her one on one. There is nothing wrong with being friends with her if that is really what is going on between the two of you. But if you are worried that there is antoher dynamic then why open the door to misinterpretation?

 
Old 09-18-2007, 06:46 AM   #4
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

I think that any woman (single or not) likes to "tease" a bit and likes to know that they still "have it" and are able to turn a man's head. Sounds like you 2 are very close and very good friends, perhaps she just feels comfortable enough around you to loosen up and be goofy. If it makes you uncomfortable then I would tell her and I wouldn't go to movies or have "alone" time with her anymore. Kind of makes me wonder what kind of a marriage she has if she has "move night" with a single man, not many married men would be to into that I wouldn't think. Maybe her marriage isn't as strong or secure as you may think. I would just be honest with her....and take a buddy with (or her husband) when you have Movie night. Good luck!

 
Old 09-18-2007, 07:14 AM   #5
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

A couple reasons that come to my mind are:

Either she's not as well behaved as you think, or as happy in her marriage

Or

She flirts to feel attractive still, to see if she's still desirable, to get a little self-esteem boost.

 
Old 09-18-2007, 09:13 AM   #6
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

More basic question, why are you dating a married women? You may be long time friends, but you are doing things with her without her husband. If her 'values' allow her to see you under those conditions, I may not be suprised that it may notch up a level on occasion, as you've described. Stay away from having drinks with her or things might get really goofy, huh? What does her husband think about your movie nights with her?

 
Old 09-18-2007, 11:52 AM   #7
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

Her husband is basically a home body and doesn't like to go out. He often suggests she call me instead if she asks him to go out. I'm sure she isn't testing the waters. I've known her a long time and I guess I'll just take it that she's looking for a little self-esteem boost.

 
Old 09-18-2007, 03:22 PM   #8
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

Just be very careful she isn't using you to get him jealous

I doubt very much her husband would recommend her phoning you about going out, or at least I would find that hard to believe.

Maybe the reason she is flirting with you is cause her husband isn't paying her enough attention, and she wants to feel wanted.

Be very careful

 
Old 09-18-2007, 05:04 PM   #9
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Re: Why do unavailable women flirt with single men?

They just like to know, they are still attractive to men, and don't care how much it makes us suffer. I work at a building with about 600 people and i see it allllll day long.

 
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