2.5 years...we're over - Relationship Health Message Board

ash519 · 10-10-2007, 09:20 AM

I ended it with my bf after my best friends wedding. I dont trust him enough. There were too many lies for me to feel comfortable staying. It hurts and it just sucks. I have no interest in anyone else. I think I need to just be on my own for a while and live life and focus on making money because now I have to pay all the bills by myself!

I loved him, I thought he was it for me. I am holding up ok. I think I made the right decision because trust is so important and he told me that all the lies he has told me in the past (About 8-10 over a 2.5 year period) shouldnt effect me as much as they have.

I really wish it could have been different.

To anyone out there with my problem...life is not supposed to be spent worrying and snooping due to the fact that you have caught your guy in lies. It's not right...and most likely it will keep happening!

Seraph · 10-10-2007, 09:28 AM

I looked up your posts about your boyfriend - it has been heading this way for a while. I think you are doing the right thing; there is no point in a relationship where trust has gone out of the window. You will be heartsick for a time, but weigh this up against a lifetime of misery and doubt. It is very hard to leave even a spoiled relationship, and I feel for you. Let yourself grieve and be sad, the positive thoughts for the future will surface eventually in good time and then you will be ready to move on with your new life. Look after yourself, Sera

ash519 · 10-10-2007, 09:56 AM

Thanks Sera! You're right. It has been in the making for a while but when you love someone it is so easy to think "This can be fixed". He blamed me for not trusting him...he told me it shouldnt effect me so much (his lies)...he told me it was because of me that he did lie. AUGH! I hated hearing all that. It was his choice to lie, it was his choice to say he would NEVER do it again, and it was his choice to continue to do it.

I am going to really focus on...me. Just me. No boys, just my finances and my happiness and my friends of course.

There was more to it then the lies, his lifestyle was a problem for me.

I tried!

tarheel247 · 10-10-2007, 10:49 AM

I read your other posts also. I was waiting to see that he cheated or did something worthy of being untrustworthy..well..I couldn't find that in any of your threads. I hate to sound mean but this looks like one where he will be better off without you. He's in a band so there a certain "lifestyle" in that itself. What were the lies about? Were they lies to keep from causing trouble in your relationship? Not that lies are good. But sometimes they are needed when the other person in unreasonable or insecure. I prefer brutal honesty. But thats not always a good thing. I've had a lot of arguments that could have been avoided either way by just not saying..or twisting the truth. If its not cheating or doing something outside of relationships moral boundries..then whatever. Anyway...2.5 years is a long time to throw away over small stuff. And so far it looks like small stuff.

jen877 · 10-10-2007, 11:09 AM

Trust is a very important thing in a relationship. If you can't trust them, you'll never be happy. be glad you ended it before you got married...