Need Advice. - Relationship Health Message Board

MonicaB2004 · 10-10-2007, 05:05 PM

Hi All.

I'm currently talking to a guy who is a year younger than me. We have been on 4 dinner dates just the 2 of us alone, then hung out afterwards. I'm really starting to like this guy. Were Taking it slowly, seeing where it goes, day by day.
Recently, he has had family issues-which i believe he is telling the truth-he has told me wat has been happening, which i feel bad for him. Also, he just told me that he may have to work overtime, not jst during week but on weekends also, bc his job is behind on a big project hes been doing.
Is it worth keep on talking to him with all this stress he is going through now, or just find someone else? The thing though is he's a great guy and we have soo much fun whenever were together. He's like im so sorry i dont want u to be mad at me, which i totaly understand what hes going through now. He's like I miss you, 3 times already.
I really like this guy and want it to work out, I dont know what to do. Any advice would be great. Thanks!!

Seraph · 10-11-2007, 03:28 AM

Why would you dump the poor guy because he is under stress? If you really like him as you say, then try to be a bit more supportive and less of a fair-weather girlfriend. We all have stressful times, and I would hate to think that my partner would consider I wasn't worth sticking by me through them.

happymom28 · 10-11-2007, 08:57 AM

Relationships are not always going to be smooth sailing. People get stressed. My husband is stressed a lot because of his job. If you really like this guy then you should be supportive. Wouldn't you want him to do the same for you if you were in his shoes? That is part of being in a relationship. I know your's is still in the beginning stage, but things like this do come up.

Larrylou'smom · 10-11-2007, 09:56 AM

Well, I think four dates is wwaaaaayyy too soon to be putting all your eggs in one basket. Continue seeing this guy, be his friend and be as supportive as you feel comfortable being through his tough time, but continue to see other people as well. Keep it friendly but keep it light. At this point, I know you believe him, but the truth is, you have no real way of knowing if he's being totally honest with you or not. Feel free to give him the benefit of the doubt, but there's nothing at all wrong with still looking around to see what else is out there. The last thing you need is to buy his lines hook line and sinker and stand by him, get even more bonded to him faster than you would have if everything was smooth sailing for him, and then have him cut you off when he gets his feet back under him. He doesn't want you to go away in case he may like you someday, but believe me, he's not thinking "this girl's the one!!" already, so no reason for you to be thinking it now, either.

MonicaB2004 · 10-15-2007, 10:45 AM

UPDATE:

I talked to the guy about couple nites ago, and asked him straight forward wats going on. he said that we met at the wrong time, but he really likes me a lot..and that he will make his best effort to contact me more to say hi and stuff. He doesnt want relationship now due to the issues thats going on in his life, which is totaly understandable.

Well last nite, I went to go watch him bowl(bc hes in bowling league), and he was so happy to see me bc we havent seen each other in awhile. he was going me googly eyed looks all nite&smiling. He would be attentive to me whole nite, he held my hand couple times. Then we went out ot check out his new car he got, and on way back in-he had his arm around my waist while walking.
Then he gave me goodnite kiss at the end. Why would he be sending me mixed signals? What's going on if he said that he doesnt want relationship, but has done those things last nite?