I'm 22, my brother is 25 and my dad is 55. Since around 3-5 years ago my dad has been seeking a lot of attention from me mostly but also from my brother. This is what i'm talking about: Many times I enter a room he says "hello" like in a funny way, he tries to start conversations with really boring and dumb stuff just to make conversation. Every time I give him my attention he talks and talk so that we don't go away and stay talking to him. It's really annoying because I wan't it to be like it is with my mom, we talk normally , when we need to but with my dad it's been so different lately that most of the time I see myself avoiding conversations with him. Why is he like this? I see him like a little kid looking for attention...
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he's probably just unsure of how to communicate with you and your brother now that you're grown. As kids grow up, they go from idolizing their daddy when they're little, to basically not wanting anythign to do with him when they're teenagers. Then, once they've matured a little, usually the relationship will improve again.
Instead of sitting there wishing he would shut up, try and take something he mentions in conversation and segue into something that interests you. He probably isn't sure what you're into, what you like to talk about. The more you talk to him, he might then be able to engage in conversations with you that are interesting and two-sided. Dad's have a hard time seeing their kids, esp. their "little girls" grown up and independent. He probably feels like you don't need him anymore, and while he doesn't want to seem clingy or seem to be holding you back, he still wants to have a relationship with you. Don't make him have to be the one to get your attention, go looking for him to say hi, or when he walks into a room, say hi to him first and ask him what's new. Don't put him in a position where he has to try and get your attention--if you give it to him first, it might be easier for him to talk more naturally. Also, maybe try to plan something fun for you to do with just him. Maybe he feels bad because you have such a good and close relationship with your mom. Try to find something that you both like, whether it's a baseball game, trip to a store, going jogging, etc.
Cut your dad a bit of slack, like redsoxgirl says, he just wants some sort of contact or relationship with you. He is your dad, he probably loves you and wants to share in your life a bit. It is only on visits, you can give him that much attention can't you? If you start up the conversation now and again, he might not have to be so 'needy'. Sera
I am afraid you can't make your father behave like your mother. Maybe he is a bit boring now and then (most people are, aren't they? ), but maybe you, too, aren't being patient enough with him. Unless he is suffering from dementia, which I don't think is the case, it's hard to believe that all he is saying is dumb stuff. Listen again, maybe he is talking between the lines, so to say, and you may be missing on his actual message. Anyway, he is your father, he just needs a few minutes of your life, I mean, of your attention. It's an obligation, isn't it? I hope not, but he may be gone in a few years, and then you may begin to miss his "dumb" talk.
I agree with the others. It sounds like your dad wants to be a part of your life. Maybe he won't be as needy if you manage to set aside some time to do something you both like. Baseball game, movie or even just a walk in the park to talk. Your lucky your dad wants to be a part of your life. My dad is the opposite, pretty much dislikes me and wants nothing to do with me.
I think I see where you're coming from, earthdayapril22. Both of my parents seem to chat the most banal rubbish just to get my attention. And my mother in particular takes offense if I show disinterest in her conversation starters such as "What did you do at work today?" If I deign to reply with "The same as always", then I get accused of being uncommunicative. However, if I try to start an interesting conversation about world issues then either my opinion gets shouted down without consideration or the conversation gets reverted to something like what we need to buy from the supermarket. My parents are both intelligent people but sometimes I simply despair at their conversational ability.
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