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Old 11-11-2007, 12:15 AM   #1
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personal ad?

My boyfriend of four years now has a personal ad up. He put it up two months ago when we took a break, but took it down when we got back together. Things seemed to be okay, and I looked and its up again. He says I've got nothing to worry about. Says I'm paranoid, yada yada. I want something serious, and it seems like he's not into it anymore, yet that's not what he says.

so do I trust what he says even though he puts that up?

Last edited by serenity26; 11-11-2007 at 12:16 AM.

 
Old 11-11-2007, 03:44 AM   #2
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Re: personal ad?

You are not paranoid...this guy is keeping this ad up for one reason only - he is looking around for somebody "better". Give him the boot, he is not worth your time.

 
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Old 11-11-2007, 07:33 AM   #3
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Re: personal ad?

You should ask him is he maintaining your paranoia has reached such frightening proportions you are actually hallucinating personal ads, because if that is the case he's obviously asserting you've moved into a stage of psychosis. Lay all this on him with a heavy layer of sarcasm, as you are leaving with your packed bags.

Honestly, it seems there is no end to the BS some men would have women believe. Get out honey; you deserve better.

 
Old 11-11-2007, 08:14 AM   #4
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Re: personal ad?

I had an ex who did that, and not surprisingly, he's done to it other gf's since me as well.

My advice, get out. It sounds like he's done. He's probably just keeping you around for convenience at this point, and as soon as he finds your "replacement", he'll either cheat, or end it.

 
Old 11-11-2007, 08:35 AM   #5
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Re: personal ad?

Dear serenity,

Actions speak louder than words; this remains true and has weathered the test of time.

Take care.

Phoenix
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Old 11-11-2007, 08:44 AM   #6
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Re: personal ad?

C'MON! Do you really need us to tell you that there's only one reason why he took the ad down then put it back up?? Why is he telling you everything's fine? Because MEN LIE!!!! He's got a personal ad up because he's still shopping around and he's still shopping around because he knows he's not that into you and he knows there's someone else out there better than you and he's just keeping you around to keep his bed warm and to keep from getting bored until he finds her. He's telling you you're paranoid because he's playing head games with you and is hoping you won't figure it out until he's ready to get rid of you at his convenience.

 
Old 11-11-2007, 08:50 AM   #7
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Re: personal ad?

Paranoid? Are you kidding me? Let's look at the facts:

When you were together - no personal ad
You took a break - personal ad goes up
You get back together - personal ad comes down
You're still together - but personal ad goes back up

He didn't have one when you were together. He only put it up when you were on a break and took it down as soon as you got back together. He clearly understands that you don't have a personal ad up when you're in a relationship. Why? Because people in a relationship don't advertise to the world that they're looking for a relationship - they're already in one! The fact that he decided to put it back up means that he's not into the relationship and is looking for a replacement gf or for something on the side.

He's a snake. You are NOT paranoid. There is no excuse (and only one explanation) for putting the personal ad back up while still with you.

Last edited by amy2705; 11-11-2007 at 08:53 AM.

 
Old 11-11-2007, 09:24 AM   #8
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Re: personal ad?

He is playing you; probably a way of getting the "goodies" whenever he wants.

Deny him and watch his reaction.

Phoenix
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Old 11-11-2007, 09:50 AM   #9
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Re: personal ad?

You're paranoid because he has a personal ad? Are you kidding?

Look, there is only ONE reason to have a personal ad, to find someone. That is exactly what he is doing otherwise why in the world would it be back up? Talk about a total lack of respect on his part. I mean, not only is he looking for another woman, but he is making you think that you are paranoid about him doing so.

As long as you believe him he is going to lie about it. You deserve a hell of a lot better than this. If you are hesitant to dump his sorry butt (which I could never understand given the facts) you could always have friend answer his personal ad and catch him in the act.

 
Old 11-11-2007, 11:54 AM   #10
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Re: personal ad?

He is a LIAR!!! Dump the chump and don't look back. End of story.

 
Old 11-11-2007, 12:14 PM   #11
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Re: personal ad?

Get rid of him asap. If he really wanted to be with you and loved you he wouldnt have a personal ad up at all. My ex husband did that. We were married, and he put up a personal ad. when i found it he told me basically what your bf told you. and then a few months later he was cheating on me. thats where our marriage ended for good. so prevent yourself more heartache later on. get rid of him now.

 
Old 11-12-2007, 07:55 AM   #12
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Re: personal ad?

As Pheonix so wisely said....Actions speak louder than words.

I know it's hard to hear, but I think it's pretty much over, and right now, he's just going through the motions.

 
Old 11-12-2007, 08:12 AM   #13
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Re: personal ad?

I completelely agree with Princess. That's why you need to strike first and ditch him now. Don't even give him a chance to explain, because there is quite literally no excuse for why he put it back up there again. Don't let him try to give you some BS story because it's all going to be lies. All he's doing is keeping you around until he finds someone else, and you don't need to stick around for that. Just get rid of him now and let him go off and date as many personal ad people as he wants! You don't need this kind of aggrevation!!

 
Old 11-12-2007, 01:41 PM   #14
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Re: personal ad?

he's keeping his options open.....
if you don't believe me, create a new e-mail address that he doesn't know, respond to his ad and act like you're interested......
ask him if he's looking for a relationship, when his last relationship was, does he want to meet for coffee, etc?
unless you really don't want to go thru all that.....then just listen to your gut instinct and get rid of him.

 
Old 11-12-2007, 01:50 PM   #15
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Re: personal ad?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
he's keeping his options open.....
if you don't believe me, create a new e-mail address that he doesn't know, respond to his ad and act like you're interested......
ask him if he's looking for a relationship, when his last relationship was, does he want to meet for coffee, etc?
unless you really don't want to go thru all that.....then just listen to your gut instinct and get rid of him.

Oh, that's brilliant...

 
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