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Old 11-26-2007, 10:32 PM   #1
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curse my conscience

Hi I'm an 18 year old ready to become sextually active. The problem is I'm not looking for a serious relationship. This isn't to say that I want to be a total pig and get off and get out i would like it to be a pleasurable experience for both people so that when I do get involved with someone I love I won't be a total idiot.

From what i understand love, emotionial closeness, and security are very sexual emotions for women and so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas about how I might be able to both become sexually active and not hurt anyone?

Last edited by matt1234567890; 11-26-2007 at 10:35 PM.

 
Old 11-27-2007, 02:17 AM   #2
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Re: curse my conscience

Sex between people goes with a loving relationship of some kind. You can't practise your sexual technique on somebody without entering some sort of commitment to that person and not be a kind of pig. Anything else is shallow and meaningless. In other words, a kleenex and a jar of KY jelly would do you just as well.

 
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Old 11-27-2007, 04:37 AM   #3
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Re: curse my conscience

I agree with Seraph, but I would also like to add this.
RElationships, whether sexual or platonic, always involve committment and emotional closeness and the possibility of being hurt, including yourself.
Do not even for a moment think that once you get close to a girl you care about, unless it is a one night stand during a drunken bout, you will not get emotionally involved. You will be and so will the girl.
So, if you feel ready for sex, you must also feel ready for some sort of committment and you must be ready to show the girl respect, and understanding and behave like a gentleman. Are you ready for this? Then you are ready for sex as well.

 
Old 11-27-2007, 04:54 AM   #4
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Re: curse my conscience

[QUOTE=matt1234567890;3323842
From what i understand love, emotionial closeness, and security are very sexual emotions for women and so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas about how I might be able to both become sexually active and not hurt anyone?[/QUOTE]

It depends on who you choose ofcourse.

So you basically want women who like you want sex without the strings involved - your not unusual in that, especially at your age.

So that you don't hurt anyone, make sure that you make your self clear verbally, that sex is all you want and not a relationship to follow.

That way, you are being honest, and the decision is then theirs to make.

 
Old 11-27-2007, 05:27 AM   #5
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Re: curse my conscience

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaliak View Post
RElationships, whether sexual or platonic, always involve committment and emotional closeness and the possibility of being hurt, including yourself.
Do not even for a moment think that once you get close to a girl you care about, unless it is a one night stand during a drunken bout, you will not get emotionally involved. You will be and so will the girl.
So, if you feel ready for sex, you must also feel ready for some sort of committment and you must be ready to show the girl respect, and understanding and behave like a gentleman. Are you ready for this? Then you are ready for sex as well.
This makes a lot of sense. Even when you say "friends with benefits" there is still that "friend" element in the equation. Sometimes you can a find women who are willing to do the one night thing, but I think after a lot of time with just that you will be left feeling empty and confused. Be sure you are truly ready for the emotional baggage that sex brings. Despite popular belief, sex isn't all physical.

 
Old 11-27-2007, 06:12 AM   #6
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Re: curse my conscience

Well, my personal opinion, I think it's very hard to have sex with women, taking their body for your pleasure and not wanting emotional involvement of any kind, it's very hard to do that and not be a "pig" as you say on some level.

Of course you have to be very honest and tell the women up front that you are not interested in a relationship, just the physical apsect. But even if you do, you will still get those women who think they are ok with those terms and then develop feelings despite themselves and they end up hurt anyway. Love means risk. Sex means risk. I think ifyou're going to become sexually active, especially with the intent of just having fun and not getting involved, you are going to have to deal with the fact that you are going to hurt some people. All you can do is be as honest as you can, honest and up front, even if you know that telling the truth will mean the girl walking out. She has the right to know what she's getting into and she has the right to walk out if a casual non-commital fling is not what she wants. And remember that girls are human beings just like you. They have feelings just like you. They don't like being used any more than you do. And be responsible and careful. Always use protection and get an STD screening every six months. You can still get herpes, and you can still spread herpes, even if you use a condom.

 
Old 11-27-2007, 06:40 AM   #7
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Re: curse my conscience

And just remember, everytime you have sex with someone, you run the risk of becoming a daddy, no matter what you use as protection. Just try not to procreate with someone you can't stand for the next 18-21 years of life.

And ditto to Larrylou'smom. There are STDs that can be spread with the use of a condom like as she said herpes and HPV, which you can carry and pass on for life. Sometimes it isn't worth being a pig.

 
Old 11-27-2007, 07:03 AM   #8
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Re: curse my conscience

Oh, and p.s., no need to curse your conscience. It's a good thing to not want to hurt people, to feel responsible toward your fellow man and to want to do right by people. Don't let peer pressure or society or whatever make you feel like you need to be more of a "playah" to be a real man, and you need to learn to detach and have sex without love. Sex is best when it's in the context of a caring, monogamous commited relationship anyway. When you're both in it for the short term, you both just take. Maybe that's something some people have to get out of their system before they can settle down and commit to one good person, but it's not necessary for everyone. Maybe it's not necessary for you? If you feel you have to curse your conscience, I'd say maybe it's trying to tell you something about yourself. Maybe you should take a minute to listen.

 
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