how to overcome hesitation of boy to talk with girls - Relationship Health Message Board

manisho · 12-26-2007, 05:10 AM

how to overcome hesitation of boy i.e. myself (34 yrs old :-) to talk with girls..

I am unable to break the ice i.e unable to start conversation with a girl whom I have never met before....I hesitate a lot...i think what I should talk about....how she will react if i sound or look stupid...i lack the confidence

Bulldogsandwich · 12-29-2007, 03:22 PM

Don't worry you're not alone all my friends have had gfs before and I'm the only one who hasn't, I bet i'll be the one who is last to "do it" too. I cant even stare in a girls eyes with a straight face, its like my lips feel so tight I can't talk. You just have to find the right girl, don't just go aiming for any good looking one, chances are you will be rejected and fearfull of it later on. If you find someone who you are finally comfortable with then you'll be alot happier than the other hot shots who get a new girl once a week. And the guys that are the first to do it usually wish they had waited for the person they really loved. Who cares if you look stupid too, just be yourself or you will end up marrying a girl that will want to get divorced because she didn't fall in love with the person she thinks she did. It will take a while to find a girl who you can look stupid with and she will like how you look stupid.

Laylah · 12-30-2007, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manisho

how to overcome hesitation of boy i.e. myself (34 yrs old :-) to talk with girls..

I am unable to break the ice i.e unable to start conversation with a girl whom I have never met before....I hesitate a lot...i think what I should talk about....how she will react if i sound or look stupid...i lack the confidence

One thing I think you should be aware of Manisho, is that some women (myself included) find shyness in a man a very cute and endearing thing. Some women decode a mans shyness with her as an indicator of his fears of messing the situation up, and further deduce that not messing things up must be important to him because getting to know her is important to him. That is a very flattering and complementary thought to a woman.

Shyness feels awful, I know; but people who suffer from it might be surprised to find how positive some other peoples perceptions of their shyness can be.

manisho · 04-18-2008, 04:12 AM

Dear Friends,
Thanks for your wonderful replies and help.

To give you an update :-
In my office there is one girl with whom I want to make friendship becoz I think she is a good girl. But the problem is that she does'nt work in my project and sits in another wing from that of mine. However we sometimes bump into each other like in a bus or during coffee time in office. Also I sometimes go to her wing for helping her project team and am able to see her. I said once or twice 'Hi' to her and smiled...she also says 'Hi' to me. However I am not able to smile (from the heart) looking at her ........I feel that I am purposely smiling.

Also I am unable to think as to what to talk with her. Maybe this is becoz of fear or something else which I don't know eg. shyness. As a result whenever I see her face to face I tend to ignore her as I don't know what to say apart from saying 'Hi' and smilling. I fear that this attitude of mine may offend her.

I sincerely want to have a good friendship with her. But I am not used to talk with girls, also I did'nt studied in co-ed school. Please give some suggesstions. Help please.

Thanks in Advance.
Manisho