Hiya, I've posted most problems of mine in the mental health and the depression boards... and this thread should probably go there as well, but I think they're probably getting sick of me lol.
Anyway, I have fallen in love. It's my first time for love... and it feels quite weird to feel like this about someone else and think about them all the time... but she seems to really like me, and she tells me that she's never felt this way about anyone before. Her friends also tell me that she talks about me far too much, and that she really loves me too.
So, yeah. I've made the first point...
But anyway, whenever I think about her, I wonder why I feel like I do... and then realise that I don't really trust her all that much with other guys.... and kinda feel like this whole thing could probably be a joke, even though I really feel that she does love me. Perhaps I'm just scared that potentially, she could cause me alot of sorrow?
Well, getting into a relationship is scary and you are opening yourself up to a new vulnerability. Being with someone like this does open you up to potentially being hurt by her. It goes with the territory.
I'm guessing (and you can correct me if I'm wrong) that you really don't think very highly of yourself. Otherwise, why would you make a comment about her feelings for you being a joke?
Trusting your girlfriend with other men is tough. But you have to remember that trust is a very important component in a relationship. Without it there really isn't much. Unless your girlfriend does something that warrents her not to be trusted you are going to have to learn to trust.
I think you are scared of being hurt. Have you been hurt by others before, not necessarily potential girlfriends?
You're right, I do have low self esteem... I think she's given me all self esteem that I have to be honest.
I think that you're right about the trust thing, that should help me see it from a different angle, thanks.
I've been such a solitary person for so long... when I was about 13 I just stopped socialising with people, I'm not sure why... It was the biggest mistake of my life. That's probably why I'm so worried and weirded out by the whole thing. This relationship isn't improving depression though. I just know that I'd never want to be my girlfriend lol... She even knows about how I feel depressed, and she's still interested.
This thread was probably just another display of how I should really pull myself together.
You've got the "why would I want to join a club that would have ME as a member" syndrome, and yes, it is due to very very low self esteem. I think everyone gets a certain boost of confidence when they are loved by a wonderful person, that's only natural, but to completely depend on that person for ALL of your validation and self esteem and self worth, no, that's not healthy. Your anger stems from that. It's her that makes you feel good, so it could be her that could make you feel lousy, too. That's way too much responsibility for one little ol' gal.
I know it's easier to do this, I've done it too, said "well, as long as this person loves and stays with me, I'm fine. If he leaves, my whole world will fall apart." It took losing him and a lot of years of heartache to realize what a mistake that was.
Trust is a big part of any healthy relationship. If you can't trust her, something definitely needs to be worked on.