Dating and being broke - Relationship Health Message Board

VoodooQueen · 01-29-2008, 11:51 PM

I know it's silly but I'm absolutely broke. Certain things happen in my life and I don't have any money. I'm also very isolated and don't have any friends and am no longer in a relationship and it's a bit of a torture for me. I don't know what to do with myself and if I dare tuning in the TV or spend more than 15 minutes on the net, i'm heading for a depression episode (not literally, but TV and internet can really be downers sometimes).

So I really want to come out but I don't know how to do that with no money. I don't know where to meet people without having to spend some money. And I mean, there are times where I can't even take the bus, so I must stay in the neighborhood or where ever my feet can take my in this cold Canadian winter.

I don't think it's fair that I have to wait to have money to have a social life. Plus, getting money is not anything that will happen soon or quick enough before the isolation situation do damage to me. It's been like this for quite some time now and I'm just craving human contact really.

i'm not looking to get inot a relationship, but I want casual sex because I'm coming out of a sex starved relationship (I mean, not only did I lose half my actual weight, I had barely any sex for the past 7 years and i'm a very sexual person, if that makes sense at all). I obviously would like to make some friends but you know, I'm 26 and I'm afraid that people will think that if by now, I have no friends, something is wrong with me.

Anyways. How do you get through this when your borderline dirt poor?Maybe I can take someone out for coffee, but that's about it you know. I'm not being cheap, it's just all that I can afford.

Any advice, I could really use some right now.

Thanks ya'll!!!!!

shorti · 01-30-2008, 12:12 AM

well do u have a job and if not, is there anywhere near your house that you can get one? do you live on your own? maybe you can move back with your parents if that helps you to not be so isolated.

bulletproof · 01-30-2008, 10:01 AM

What do you mean by having no money? How do you support yourself? Are you working?

The obvious answer is that if you're not working, you need to get a job, because it would solve both your problems at once. All jobs are not necessarily social, but at least you'd be getting out and having contact with people, maybe having lunch.

If you do have a job, have you considered a part-time job on top of that? Just until you are able to save some money?

There are lots of things to do that are free. Every town has stuff like that. You just have to look a little harder to find it. You have the internet, so use it to your advantage. Do some research. When you do make a friend, there's nothing wrong with going to a coffee shop or even inviting the person to your place for lunch or to watch a movie. DVDs are free at the library.

VoodooQueen · 01-30-2008, 07:05 PM

LOL! Ok!

This issue is not how to make money.

Yes I do work! LOL. I actually work 2 jobs. But they are both part time and I cannot do any more than that because of an medical condition for which I am taking care of myself with no assistance or insurance or anything whatsoever. The money I make is little because I had to focus on finding an employer that would be willing to be adjustable to my situation rather than going for the job making big bucks but getting fired due to absenteeism as a result of the condition I have.

And if there was a solution to my isolation problem, or people I could turn to, I would gladly to that. Why would I deliberately complicate my life? If I had friends or family to go to, that's probably where I would be right now, but it's not the case, and I'm trrying to find a way to get a support network for myself, because I haven't had any and I've had to deal with everything myself. The reason why I am asking about making friends with no money is because I am quite well aware of my financial situation and my budget does not allow for any sort of entertainment spendings or going clubbing or doing whatever it is that the majority of people do to spend time together. That's' why I haven't had any friends in the past 2 years. My wallet cannot keep up. And so I had to withdraw myself from that social life. I had to choose between waste money in a nightclub just because people don't have the creativity to do anything else, or invest money in my health so that one day, I could go back to having a good full-time job and not having to worry about getting fired because I have a health problem that still exist and will come in the way of my performance.

Now I understand that I've made a choice here, but I don't think I should punished for wanting to take care of my health. But it really feels like hell everyday, because I can't afford a social life, even though I'm working. And the work that I do right now is that what I would normally, but after 2 years on welfare and finally getting out of it because it was making things worst and doing absolutely nothing good for me, I had t get out of that and cleaning toilets right now and working a few hours from is the best I can do without the stress of wondering if I will still have a job tomorrow. That kinda stress is priceless and if I have to put up with only making 8 bucks an hour, just so I know that my boss is understanding and won't fire me if I miss 3-4 days a months, then so beat it. It sure beats being on welfare and being constantly reminded that you're scum, even though you're not. So I learn my lessen and I'd rather work for a slave master than being on welfare.

Moving back with parents is not an options. I have an abusive father and that's why I had to be on my own. I'd rather get beaten by society (not that i like, but again, I had to make a choice), then beaten by my own blood and having to live in that everyday, which, doesn't do anything to aid in a social anyway, so moving back to parents would 1 millions steps backwards for me. And they're broke too anyway!

So see, I'm not asking this because I'm too dumb to go for the obvious solutions (like get a job and move with friends). My situation right now, is as good as it gets and I'm coming out of a really messed up relationship finally and my finances are taking a real good blow out of it, so it's not that simple. I need to get really creative in how I'm going to pull through this and with that's happening right now and all the other problems I have to find solutions for, I was really hoping for some creative options. Not the, "Duh! Get a job!!". LOL. I don't need to go on a discussion board to figure out that I need to get a job. Maybe some people do....who knows?

Sorry, I just can't stop thinking how funny this it! Anyways!

Let's get creative!!!! No money, I'm working and doing my best, what's a woman to do....what's a woman to do!!! I know it turns people off when they see someone who can't keep up with their types of spendings. Where do I find those people like me who just don't care for clubbing, name brands, TV, movies and Souljah Boy (if I hear that superman song one more time........

! LOL). I'm 26 and I have no interest in people my age, but yet, I'm sure older people would say the same about me, so sometimes I'm afraid to approach them or get in that kind of circle because they'll think I'm just an immature little 26 year old who wants to talk about makeup, diets and American Idol. I'm just not like that.

I don't know. It's a frustrating situation. Everybody loves money right? Maybe I just need to stay isolated until I can afford to pay for friends, cuz that's what it is. You need to pay to have friends.

jozi209 · 01-30-2008, 07:53 PM

why don't you try a free dating/social network site? one that come to mind is plenty of fish...you can put somewhat of your financial situation in there explain what you like to do, and maybe get some like minded people to contact you that way? I live in Canada too, and I know lots of people up here that use it