Ok well I guess most of yall have seen my original post last week about how my girlfriend who has this really good guy friend who she tells everything. Well the fighting hasn't stopped between us about this. I dont know how to get over this problem. Ok well to refresh everyone my gf has this guy friend who lives like 4 hours away who she hardly ever sees. She says this guy is one of her best friends. I even learned that she tells this guy all about our fights and goes to him for things like advice and stuff like that. Well the fact that this is a guy is not really the problem. I DO realize girls and guys can be the bestest of friends. The thing is i have told her multiple times i dont think our fights and things like that are his business. But she insist the only reason she tells him is because he lives far off and he wont tell anyone and she thinks thats important. Well tonight she is at this event thing and its where all these people stay and organize for the this christian weekend thing and they have to go early for it. He is there and we kinda got into a little argument about this and i said a smartass comment about him, saying something like "well you know its convienent now you have dr. phil there is person to tell about this fight dont you" (it was a text) shouldnt have said it yes, but i was mad. Then she says well i didnt have to ..he was sitting right there and read it.(kinda my whole point that he is still in my damn business) ....I think she wants to me to feel bad or something about it, but I dont. ....my whole point of this is that I cant get over the fact that they are such good friends I guess....I dont guess its trust, but the fact he knows all my personal business apparentley and the fact she doesnt see how much it bothers me, is really getting to me.....any advice or help would be great because I really need some right now....cause I have no idea what to do....maybe just working on getting over it is all I CAN do..thanks for yalls time and responses
I think you are right. I dated a guy for a while and when we broke up we became friends. We didn't date for very long. Long story short, we were friends for years and when he finally met his future wife, he basically had to stop hanging with me because she couldn't handle our friendship. I think that was the right thing to do. But before her, he would compare all his dates to me and us and what we had. If this friend is truely her friend, he should back off and let her have this relationship with you. If not, then maybe you should step back and let the two of them be friends for life. Hope its not too blunt!
I can understand exactly where you're coming from, however, I am the man who has a woman best friend. I dont tell her everything, but sometimes I need a woman's perspective when trouble flairs. To me, the gender of the friend means nothing, unless they are getting lovey-dovey with each other. Then that would be a major problem. Otherwise, is it possible that this guy is actually trying to get her to understand you better, and let her know how sometimes men will be men.
If you feel threatened by this guy, confront him in a gentlemanly way. We all need a neutral party to talk to when things are not going right, and most of the time, it is persons of the same gender. However, there are times when a persons best friend is of the opposite sex. That is my case. Hope things work for you..............Rob
1. Are you being overly jealous?
2. Do you have reason to doubt their relationship?
I think all people have a jealous side towards their mate. That is normal. But there is a thing called TRUST. It is not always easy, but if you know deep down in your heart that you have a good girlfriend that you can trust, you learn to let the jealousy go, because there is nothing to worry about. BUT... if your gut is telling you that something is not right in their relationship (whether it be she is shady in responding to you about it, or her stories don't seem to make sense...etc), then I would trust your gut. You cannot live your life constantly worried and stressed thinking she is doing something with her friend.
You know yourself and you know your relationship with her. Go with what your gut tells you. Good luck. Everything will work out.