Getting over stupid issues. - Relationship Health Message Board

kerri86 · 03-19-2008, 07:14 AM

I will start off by saying my boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years now. I have posted something along these lines before. Right before Christmas, I was getting to the point where I couldnt stand the relationship anymore, so I broke it off. He wasnt happy with it, but he agreed because he didnt know what else he could do (as he says). We lived together at this time, and I decided to move home and leave him with everything just because I wanted out so bad.

Now, two days after moving home, I didnt think we were ever going to talk anymore. I start talking to him on a regular basis because we had things we had to pay together, and etc. I find out that two days after I move out, hes talking to his ex. The girl he broke up with me for. I dont know if there are any feelings there, but I know as soon as her and my ex(at the time) started talking she shortly after ended ties with her current boyfriend.

My concern is I cant seem to get over the fact that all of a sudden he decided to talk to her again. Im so caught up on this. It lingers in my mind almost everyday. He hasnt mentioned her name in probably a month or more, but for some reason I cant help think that if we didnt decide to start dating again he would be right back there dating her. The first time they dated they only dated for 4 months, and he said they became more friends then anything, and it got awkward so they broke up. Hes a pretty honest guy, so I believe him. Like when they hung out, they hung out at the apartment that I used to live in with him. They hung out alone, but he's honestly not that type of guy to be a pig to sleep around that fast. We were broken up for two months and he didnt even look at another girl. Ok so he claims that they were friends, I believe that coming from him, but I dont think thats what she seen. I had to pretty much beg him to stop talking to her because I didnt like the fact of her not respecting me as a person, or his girlfriend. He didnt like the fact I was trying to be controlling, but he stopped talking to her because he said he cared about me.

He has let go of the fact she's ever been around, or hes even known her. I havent even heard him mention her name, or she hasnt called him because he told her he doesnt want to be her friend anymore. He told her this because he said he had something good going for him. Which was me. I feel so good about myself when he says these things. BUT!!!! I just cant seem to stop thinking about her all the time. I dont like her, Im not jealous of her at all. I just cant stop thinking what would have happened between them if I didnt come back.

I asked him to join the gym, but I didnt know it was the one she worked out at, and he said no because she worked out there. So, what does that mean, he doesnt want to run into her of fear of me and her seeing each other. Or does he still like her secretly.

(Oh by the way, when they hung out, they hung out 3-4 times a week, so I think she started to gather feelings for him, but they played games, my boyfriend is huge into games)

Please give me some insite on this... pleasee?!?! like am I just thinking tooooo much into this!!!!!

rosequartz · 03-19-2008, 08:18 AM

he's not your boyfriend anymore, you broke up with him......now because someone else is interested in him he's more appealling to you?
time to move on

Kszan · 03-19-2008, 08:33 AM

I have to agree with Rose. The only reason why you're freaking about this is because all the sudden some other girl is interested in him. You were the one who broke up and left him, so you can't expect him to stay single forever? If he wants to date around, it's his choice. But you can't get mad at him for moving on. So what if it's an ex? That's really his business and not yours anymore. When you break up with someone, you've given up the right to be involved in their personal life, you know?

kerri86 · 03-19-2008, 08:34 AM

Im sorry if I didnt clarify enough, but we are together now, the whole situation was that we broke up for a month and this is what happened. Now I cant seem to get over the fact that he hung out with this girl so much, im curious to see if anyone else thinks there was something there.

Kszan · 03-19-2008, 08:41 AM

What I posted still applies. When you were broken up with him, he was doing whatever a single guy usually does. There's not much you can say about it cause you were broken up at the time.

If he isn't hanging out with her anymore, then you just need to trust that he's telling you the truth. Unless you don't trust him, in which case, what's the point of getting back together?