Hey again, im back lol. This time another problem that really pushed me away.
Short backstory if you dont know it (i've been here so much about it im sure you all do), i am 20, she is 18, we've been dating for 15 months now. At the start of our relationship she told me stories about her past sexual antics, because she thought the only way id like her is sexually. She did this because of her past issues (rape by a stranger, near rape a few other times, drug abuse, etc), which she has escaped and i helped her get better with it. These stories affected my self esteem very badly (its super low to begin with, i was made fun of alot), my trust in her, and made my insecurities hundreds of times worse. Just recently i made a thread how i was heartbroken because she said that at first she thought i was really ugly, and at first impression she thought i was mentally retarded (she claims its because of my voice, which i am 20 and it never changed).
Now another development. We work together, our manager is 25 and he isnt the best guy. He is this young preppy 25 year old, who lies about his age to get with girls younger than him, he is a pervert, he is a horndog, he is this wild going party guy, and he is my general manager. Im not sure if i mentioned this, but when i was in Poland for two weeks, she told me she overheard our manager saying "She is sexy, but im going to wait until she is 20, besides she has a birthday coming up soon haha", clearly talking about her. She has always told me she hates him, hes a pervert, she hates the kind of person he is, she thinks hes obnoxious and annoying.
But i worked with her and him together three times (yesterday was the third, and the worst). From what she told me, how she hates him, i never saw it. The first two times she was all laughing, joking, being super nice with him. Then yesterday, she was talking to him all throughout the day, i had to stand outside for the sidewalk sale to make sure people didnt steal, and i poked my head in and she was just leaning on the counter laughing, and smiling really hard at him. This went on all day long.
She has never acted that way toward anyone but like a few close friends, and to me, it was flirting, all day long. She claims she was just being nice, which i COULD believe, but i know her, that seemed like it was way past just being nice. I got her to confirm that she knows he is a pervert, and a two faced liar, she said yeah. But she said "But he seems like a nice guy so i might talk to him next time we work together". When she knows what kind of person she is. I told her that if i were to do the same, she would have lost her mind. She keeps saying she was just being friendly to him. I was convinced it wasnt just being nice, so i told her im done with her, because shes a little flirt.
Now we spoke again last night, and the same stuff was exchanged. She knows how he is, he is a nice guy, and she was just being nice. Whatever it was, something is fishy, because after 15 months this is the first time i have seen this.
Well regardless, i broke up with her, and we arent together now. Im stuck now, i think of the way she was around him yesterday and i want her out of my life and out of my mind, but when she left my car yesterday, she was far away and she didnt know i was watching still, i saw her face crying and i want her back. I love her, but i truly dont trust her or believe her, about anything.
It seems you are confused, and she is confused, too. Probably both of you have reasons to be so. I think it's better for both of you to keep a distance from each other for some time. Until the dust settles down and you can see better. I know you are going to suffer, but maybe suffering (alone) is better than fighting or ranting or keeping justifying oneself.
Lazer, this is classic game playing for her. She ALWAYS plays games with your mind. From talking about her past relationships, to being controlling with you. She has turned you into a very insecure (more than you have ever been) person. How sad. I can't believe the two of you are working together. Why? So you can keep tabs on one another? She could get a job anywhere in this economy.
But back to the games, don't you see it by now? I wouldn't trust her at all. She cheated on her ex to be with you. She will cheat on you to be with her manager. She likes attention and seeks to get it from every guy she can get. Talk about low self esteem!
I hope you are being honest when you said you broke up with her. I am sure you will be back together in a day b/c your relationship is so co-dependent. Just trust your gut Lazer, I have told you many times you are smart and to use your head.
Lazer, this is classic game playing for her. She ALWAYS plays games with your mind. From talking about her past relationships, to being controlling with you. She has turned you into a very insecure (more than you have ever been) person. How sad. I can't believe the two of you are working together. Why? So you can keep tabs on one another? She could get a job anywhere in this economy.
But back to the games, don't you see it by now? I wouldn't trust her at all. She cheated on her ex to be with you. She will cheat on you to be with her manager. She likes attention and seeks to get it from every guy she can get. Talk about low self esteem!
I hope you are being honest when you said you broke up with her. I am sure you will be back together in a day b/c your relationship is so co-dependent. Just trust your gut Lazer, I have told you many times you are smart and to use your head.
I know she has played games with my head in the past, and i believe this whole situation is another game, but the games have surely cut down by a lot.
She keeps asking for me to come back, i just said i want my space and we will see. She explained everything about the stories and why she still dresses revealing. The whole rape thing she went through a few times, people forcing themselves on her, she says in her head she thinks thats all she will ever be. She said that she wants a real job, she wants a real future, but she feels like all she is is just a piece of meat and the only job she would have would be a stripper. She says she wears the revealing clothes because thats all she thinks she will ever be to anyone.
I explained to her that low cut shirts, really high skirts, super tight clothes are not fit and not "cool". She said shes trying and i said my insecurities cant handle it, i can only look at her dressing really badly before i just break down again.
Maybe its just me, but i dont think any girl should dress revealing, but if they do, once they get a boyfriend that should end. No need to show your body off once you have someone you claim is all you way. You know?
Lazer, remember the saying "never decide when you are confuse, or might regret it in the end". Men usually do things that they deny, no offense this is base on my experience. CIAO!!
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