He's going to a wedding with an ex girlfriend....... - Relationship Health Message Board

Hazel1234 · 07-08-2008, 08:43 AM

The guy I'm currently seeing now and have been for 3 months was invited to a wedding by his ex girlfriend and accepted to invitation to go. It bothers me that he still feels compelled to go when he's seeing me, because I think that if my ex boyfriend asked me to go to a wedding, I would tell him no because I was seeing someone else...also, he didn't even ask me what I thought about him going, and just told me that he was. I'm not saying he needs my permission to go...but he could've asked my for my opinion first. He says they are just friends and still keep in contact after being broken up for about 9-10 months....The thing that bothers me the most is that maybe he isn't all that serious about me as much as I thought he was since he still has that desire to go on a date with his ex while being with me......any thoughts/advice on this would be a appreciated....thanks

BeaTrade · 07-08-2008, 09:18 AM

Well it wouldn't be acceptable in my book! Are the two of you dating exclusively? I mean have you had the talk or is it pretty much a given? When I started seeing my now husband...after 3 months, we were a "couple"! We didn't sit down and say it but it was just understood!

ergo4 · 07-08-2008, 09:44 AM

I had the exact thing happen to me in my last serious relationship. I told him that it bothered me that he agreed to go without talking to me about it first. I actually didn't and wouldn't have a problem with it in theory. I just think he should have said to ex, "I think I might like to but I will let you know later if I am available" and then came to me and told me that he has been asked by her and he thinks he would like to go but wanted to make sure that I had no difficulty with it. In the end, I actually did get bummed out but I got over it quickly and even helped him pick out a tie and such because I knew he really cared about me. He went with her and had a horrible time

. As I said, it would have been nice if he had of mentioned it to me first, not for permission but as a courtesy and out of respect for my feelings.

dma11663 · 07-08-2008, 10:17 AM

sorry this is unacceptable. end of story. if he respected you and thought enough of you he would tell his EX (that is the key word...EX) that he was with someone else. You know...he still cares for her if he is doing this. He has a history with her. That's it. Dump him and move on cuz he is going to dump you after this wedding.

Sorry..I don't want to hurt you..open your eyes.

elatedgiraffe · 07-08-2008, 10:39 AM

I can understand your feeling pretty down about it. I would be too. I don't think it is fair for your boyfriend to go with his ex-girlfriend to a wedding. If he was so close to the wedding party then he would have received an invitation in which he could take you as a guest rather than his ex girlfriend taking him as a date. Not cool at all. I would step back and re-evaluate the relationship; maybe even have a talk with him. I mean if hes able to be his ex's "date" to a wedding then are you not able to date others as well? I don't think he'd like it so much if you did this to him. Its up to you what you want to do, but if you need reassurance that what he is doing is hurtful and wrong then you have mine.