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Old 07-31-2008, 01:16 PM   #1
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Age problem & Not Sleeping

Hi guys, i;m new and after a little advice really.

Well,

First of all, im 21 years old. Met this girl online, we got in really well, spoke every day, all day basically either by MSN or by phone.
Shes 17, I'm 21, lives a good couple of hours drive away, but we met each other a couple of times, and both really like each other, so we decided to give it a go. The distance is hard, but I'm sure we will work it out, thats not the issue.
But I recently found out she lied about her age, and it got to a stage where she wanted to tell me, but was scared to tell me because she liked me that much.
Well she eventually told me she was actually only 16, not 17.
One year I think... whats the difference? But for some reason I cant get it out of my head, 16 seems young, as I'm 21.
Obviously I was annoyed she lied to me, but because I knew people that knew her, they all thought she was 17 too, she just kept it like that, instead of losing friends. And to be honest, I do love her, cant bare to split up with her .
Whats peoples opinions on this? the age difference, the age its self?



Also another thing, I am having trouble sleeping, and have for a month or two now. And it seems to happen when i go to bed, and know shes still awake and online? Annoys me why this happens but it does. Ill be on my PC, and I start to feel really tired, so I will go to bed at around 11PM. Fall asleep, but wake up around 12:30am-1am. I then lay there for an hour thinking what she's doing if shes still online. So i get my laptop, see shes online, and it angers em that she is. We have had many arguments over this, because I get angry shes still onlin gone 2:30am, and the fact its stopping me from sleeping. Think i have really bad emotional problems at the moment, and I dont want to go down the route of sleeping pills.
Can anyone maybe give me some tips on how to stop this? :S

Cheers for any advice, its much appriciated.

 
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Old 07-31-2008, 04:13 PM   #2
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Re: Age problem & Not Sleeping

16 and 21 is a huge age difference. It would not matter as much if you were both five years older, but I'm not sure her brain is even done developing at that age. She is still growing, developing her identity and struggling through each year to become an adult. You, on the other hand, are more or less done growing. You need to be the responsible one here and back off, give her a few more years and let her grow up. She's a kid. She might be amazingly intelligent and mature for her age, but she's still a kid and only time is going to change that.

Why are you upset that she is online at night?

 
Old 07-31-2008, 05:49 PM   #3
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Re: Age problem & Not Sleeping

I had my first bf when I was 17 and he was 21. It was fine, but in the end he ended up being the immature one in the relationship.

Your being so upset over her being online at night isn't a very mature reaction, though. You need to just get over it. Are you jealous that she might be talking to other guys or something? I have to agree that she's still quite young, and when you're that age, it's possible to have a lot of friends who stay up late chatting online. There's nothing wrong with it. She's being a kid. You need to either accept it or break it off. But maybe it's just not the right fit for you because 16 is really young for a 21 year old. You really don't have anything in common. She can't even get into bars for another 5 years. I think you need to think about that.

 
Old 08-01-2008, 01:14 AM   #4
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Re: Age problem & Not Sleeping

I lied to my husband when I met him...I said I was 16, a year older than I was. He got over it, and we have been married a very long time. I did it because I felt older and didn't want to be judged as a "kid". If that is all she lied about, then forget it.
Your issue with her being online is more of a problem, and it is your problem, not hers. She is probably very sociable, and chatting, etc online is a huge social activity. She is staying up late online, so what? Get over it, you should be glad she is sociable and you are not her father for goodness' sake. If it upsets you so much, then let her go. She is still at the age when peer networking is a big part of her life, and need not give all that up to devote all her time to you. Sera

 
Old 08-01-2008, 02:57 AM   #5
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Re: Age problem & Not Sleeping

my boyfriend lied to me about his age too. he said he was 26 when really he was 30. he did this because he liked me and he didnt want me to get scared and run off. we are still together this day and things are fine. i got over it. it was never really an issue anyway. sometimes people do things not because they are trying to play you but because they really like you. im not saying that telling a lie is ok but in the end noone got hurt.

as with the internet, we now have so many sites dedicated to profiles and chat sites where we can talk amongst friends. technology advances all the time. first it was snail mail, then telephones, mobiles, internet, emails and now profiles. this is the way people keep in touch these days. you shouldnt feel threatened.

 
Old 08-01-2008, 05:40 AM   #6
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Re: Age problem & Not Sleeping

Under 18 = don't risk it.

Move on......

 
Old 08-02-2008, 04:56 AM   #7
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Re: Age problem & Not Sleeping

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph View Post
I lied to my husband when I met him...I said I was 16, a year older than I was. He got over it, and we have been married a very long time. I did it because I felt older and didn't want to be judged as a "kid". If that is all she lied about, then forget it.
Your issue with her being online is more of a problem, and it is your problem, not hers. She is probably very sociable, and chatting, etc online is a huge social activity. She is staying up late online, so what? Get over it, you should be glad she is sociable and you are not her father for goodness' sake. If it upsets you so much, then let her go. She is still at the age when peer networking is a big part of her life, and need not give all that up to devote all her time to you. Sera
That is exactly what she said. She is really mature for her age.

About the online thing. i know its my problem, and I know I need to sort it. I guess i just feel threatend by the people shes talking to, and maybe a little jealous. Hopefully this will cure its self in time.

Thanks for all your replies, much appriciated.

And to thep erson who said she cannot get in bars for another 5 years, its actually two years as we are from England

Last edited by Wedner; 08-02-2008 at 04:56 AM.

 
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