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Old 08-05-2008, 08:23 AM   #1
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been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

hey HB!! I am a 24 year old woman.. I have been dating my bf for 6 years now.. We are Mormons, and part of this religion you cant have sexual relations until marriage.. I want to have kids and settle down.. Everytime i ask my bf to get married, he always blows me off and tells me he is going to fix our cars up.. Cars are materialistic to me. Being married enternally in heaven and obeying gods commandments is important to me.. Jewelery and clothes are materialistic.. dating someone 6 years is a long time that they should of popped the question already to you.. I hate that I like have to bother him to death to get married.. It seems like the whole marriage thingy is out of his head.. My bf is into games and cars and sports.. My bf is almost 25 in November.. Do saggatarius and Taurus's get along.. I am starting to see that they dont.. Anyone please help me.. I am so saddened by this whole situation..

 
Old 08-05-2008, 08:31 AM   #2
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

Tell him what he wants and what you want are not the same things and you don't see a future with him. See if he back peddles and changes his mind. If he doesn't then I do believe it's time for a change.
My opinion is why waste your life with someone who isn't in agreement with what you want for your future? Like I said, once you tell him it's over and your going to move on, he may realize what a precious person he has in his life and make some real grown up decisions.

Last edited by drs; 08-05-2008 at 08:32 AM.

 
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Old 08-05-2008, 08:52 AM   #3
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

I just called him right now and he hangs up on me.. I cant deal with it.. I need somebody there for me emotioanlly and will listen.. My bf is like a kid that never wants to grow up.. He is almost 25 and still lives with his mother. He has no career. Neither do I anyhow.. I still live with my dad too.. I deal with bipolar and i dont work.. I dont know if these reasons make him not want to marry me or just the whole marriage idea is not in his vocabulary..

 
Old 08-05-2008, 08:53 AM   #4
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

I've been with my boyfriend for over 8 years and am in the same situation that you find yourself in. At first this was devastating to me and we would have major fights about it. We tried going our separate ways but realized that we were miserable without each other. I had to make the decision on whether or not a piece of paper was going to keep me from being happy. He has his reason for not wanting to get married or have any more children and even though I donít understand them completely he is entitled to his feelings, wants, desires, and I have no right to demand that he change them. In the begining I grew to resent him and found myself picking fights for no reason besides that fact that I felt that he didn't want me as much as I wanted him.

Of course I'm not religious so that had no bearings on my decision to live in sin. Its my personal feeling that you need to make yourself a list of what you want out of life i.e. marriage, kids, the white picket fence, and then really sit down with your man and ask him what he wants out of life. If youíre not on the same wave length then you need to move on.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 08:55 AM   #5
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

Have you stopped to ask him why he doesn't want to get married? And really listened to what he said? 6 years is a long time to be dating at your age, you are both still pretty young. Maybe he just isn't ready, perhaps he would like to live out his youth a little longer, or perhaps it is something else. What about college and your careers? Have you both finished school? Have you started your careers? If not, maybe this is a factor.
But then, like I said you are still fairly young, there is plenty of time to get married and start a family. Enjoy life for now, even if it doesn't include marriage and babies (yet) there is so much more to life, explore the world and don't rush into anything or force a guy into marriage, that will just guarantee you trouble.
Good luck with whatever happens.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 08:57 AM   #6
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

awww now more of the story comes out. Maybe the two of you need a break from each other to work on yourselves. I know my man wouldn't stick with me if he felt that I was contributing to our relationship i.e working, personal issues in check, and so on. Good Luck

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:10 AM   #7
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

My bf and I dont have careers. We graduated high school and have about 50-60 college credits under our belts.. We dont do drugs or smoke or drink ever. I dont work. My bf works as a bus driver for a camp. My bf has his commercial drivers license b.. i have my drivers license too.. we both have cars.. I am receiving disability money due to my whole mental illness. i Have applied for numerous jobs though, but no luck.. I have asked my bf why cant we get married tons of times.. he tells me because of our lack of careers.. I feel like regardless of career or not he will never ask me to get married.. We are both Mormons too, so having sexual relations is sinning in our religion..

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:12 AM   #8
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

It doesn't sound like either of you should be thinking about marriage. No careers, living with Dads...you two cannot possibly be thinking about marriage...y'all need get out on your own and understand what it is like to pay bills and take care of yourselves before thinking about getting married!
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Last edited by BeaTrade; 08-05-2008 at 10:02 AM.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:15 AM   #9
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

What did you go to college for? What was your major? Maybe you could go for something that would be a career that even with mental illness you could do. Something in a counseling field for this type of problem. Are you too sick to go back and finish up with your studies? I'm thinking that if you not working is his major thing for not getting married then finish with your college and find a field that is suited best for you. Just a thought.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:16 AM   #10
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

Bea Trade, maybe there is some truth to what you said, but you could of said it in a kinder way.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:19 AM   #11
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

drs i chose social work as my career and my major in college.. It has been my dream to become a social worker. I have lived a dysfunctional childhood of physical and emotional abuse.. My bf wanted to do radiology, but they never accepted him into the program. My bf had enough credits to enter, but once my bf went to the radiology interview the chairperson didn't like his lack of enthusiasm for a career in radiology.. For me i love social work. My mental illness is not the only thing from stopping me.. i have other health issues that prevent me from going to college..

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:21 AM   #12
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

yes that was very unkindly to say we need to grow up.. there are people worse then us, that use drugs and have no life or jobs.. Please think before you insult someone's feelings..

Last edited by Italia 43; 08-05-2008 at 09:26 AM.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:23 AM   #13
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

thanks for everyone's advice

Last edited by Italia 43; 08-05-2008 at 09:25 AM.

 
Old 08-05-2008, 09:56 AM   #14
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

Sorry if I'm being brutally blunt but it takes a whole heck of a lot of money to live and if you aren't working and he does not have a decent job, how in the heck can you even think of getting married? Were you planning on living with one of your Dad's? I agree with your BF, you are not ready to be married because of no careers. If you have so many medical problems...you can add that to the list of all the normal expenses a young married couple has to face.
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Old 08-05-2008, 09:59 AM   #15
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Re: been with my bf 6 years now & he never wants to get married

Sometimes you have to be blunt or people don't get it. Why did your boyfriend hang up on you? Wouldn't you see that as being too blunt?

Mileena

Last edited by Mileena42; 08-05-2008 at 10:00 AM.

 
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