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Old 08-11-2008, 12:25 AM   #1
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Question internet dating?

i am still young (23). but i find is AMAZINGLY HARD to find a good man to date these days.

I am considering the internet. i figure you really get to narrow down your goals and things you want in a man this way.

Has anyone done this? and what good or bad things have you found out?

what are some good sites?

 
Old 08-11-2008, 07:33 AM   #2
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Re: internet dating?

I agree, I think there are just fewer good men out there of every age. I agree with Brad Pitt in the movie Fight Club. We've raised a couple of generations of men now by signle moms and without fathers, so they never separated from mother and identified with father and they have no idea how to relate to women as equal, fellow human beings as well as sexual creatures. Another woman is the last they want or need. One of the reasons the divorce rate is at an all time high, in my opinion.

I did the internet dating thing for about 7 years. Never got past a first date, but that's just me. It's a great way to meet a wide variety of people, people you never would meet any other way. It's just one more means to an end. I think it could be worth a shot if you have a tough skin and take it all with a grain of salt and don't take any rejection personally, and be smart and safe about meeting in a public place, taking your own car and meeting him there instead of having him pick you up, be careful who you give your phone number to, and never give out your address, etc. I think the rules here prohibit listing specific sites, but there are many of them out there. Good luck.

 
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Old 08-11-2008, 09:59 AM   #3
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Re: internet dating?

There are sites out there... and some good guys and bad guys on them. Just as there are good women and not so good ones too. There are players... and married men... that use these sites for "fun". Create a good profile.. say what you want and what you don't want (in a nice way)... and try it. Always be careful and meet in a public place and don't get into their car until you get to know them better. I've heard some horror stories about this. Lots of people have great relationships from people they have met online... As far as the sites.. you've seen them on TV a million times... try searching for sites and the big dating sites will come up.

Last edited by cathy1; 08-11-2008 at 10:00 AM.

 
Old 08-11-2008, 10:14 AM   #4
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Re: internet dating?

You probably have the same chance of meeting nice people vs. jerks if you met in person. The only difference with the internet is that you can't see what you're getting until you meet in person. But meeting in the "traditional" way can also result in being deceived, so that's when your better judgment comes in.

My brother in law met his wonderful, fantastic, terrific wife online. They have 3 beautiful boys. They met on a site with a common interest. It's not necessary to go to a specific dating site if you don't want to. But you need to use the same standards you would use if meeting in person at a bar or something. Be careful, be selective, and take everything with a grain of salt until you can confirm it. And know that it is possible to find someone this way.

Good luck!

 
Old 08-11-2008, 10:20 AM   #5
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Re: internet dating?

I don't have anything against dating sites, but I have never used them myself. Actually, they were not so very common in those days, if ever existent. Anyway, since you are so young and apparently not in despair (LOL) to find someone else, why not try the conventional places first, where you meet people in body and soul? What are you currently doing? Working? Going to college? Taking your time? Find real places to go first - good and safe places, of course - and only after you have exhausted them and found nobody to talk to, should you resort to the Internet.

That is my advice, but you should know better. Perhaps you are a very shy type of person and think it is easy to open up on an Internet site. Maybe, but in any case don't make your lag time (the period of time between the moment you find someone interesting on the net and the moment you go and meet him in person) too long. Otherwise you may find yourself stuck and afraid or too lazy to go. Yes, virtual dating can make us a bit too lazy.

 
Old 08-11-2008, 10:52 AM   #6
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Re: internet dating?

Hi,
I think Internet dating is great! I know so many people who have found real love that way! However:

- Use one of the popular sites that charge a fee. You'll have more choices that way, and you'll be more likely to meet someone who is serious, because they too are willing to pay the monthly fee. It will help "weed out" those who aren't serious about finding a real relationship, or those who are a financial disaster.
- Think of it as a way to practice dating, meet new men, make new friends.
But don't think you need to find love right away. Expect that some of the dates will go badly-- everyone I know who found love online had some bad dates before they had the good one (except for one person who met her soulmate the first time. She was lucky.)
- Be really careful. Since these are strangers, don't tell them where you work, live, or take classes. Wait until you get to know them. Listen to your intuition. If the guy seems weird or possibly untrustworthy, shrug him off and move on.
Remember this is a process-- and it will be both funny and fun, but don't lose your intelligence in your quest to find someone.

-The most important thing is to get very clear on what you want before you write your ad. Be clear on everything from the age range you want to date, do you care if he's still in college and only works part-time or do you wish for someone who's graduated and has a full-time job?, what kind of guy are you really looking for?
For example, if what you really want is someone ages 23-26 who has no debt, a full-time job, loves pets, and hates wild parties, then don't waste your time responding to an ad from a 30 year old who's never been to college.
Try to be very clear in your ad what you're looking for. Write it, don't post it to the site for a few days, look it over a few days later and see if you want to make any changes, ask a few friends for advice, then post it.
ALWAYS exchange realistic pictures before the date, so both of you know what to expect.
If you find someone was dishonest in their ad, don't give them a 2nd chance.
You'll get better and better at telling who is a potential match for you, and you'll have better and better dates until... you meet the one!

Good luck!

 
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