Hey everyone..I need some advice, or maybe I am just venting. I am going through a break-up with a guy that I was in love with for 2 years and now its all gone. His feelings didnt change, its just he didnt want to be in the relationship no more because we argued too much, and I admit that we were going through a rough patch for a couple of months. But I didnt think he would of left me but he did, so I am trying to accept it. Now my parents just separated, my mom made my dad leave and it's extra hard now because my mom and dad are going through almost similar situation. I wish that my parents hadnt of separated because i was trying to deal with the stress of my break-up, and now I got to go through the emotions of my dad being gone. I still live at home since I am in college and saving money and since I live there it is going to be extremely difficult. Has anyone gone through this? Im sure but I just need some advice..thanks
Oh, yes, that seems a lot to deal with at the same time. But do you know the old saying: "It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good"? Try to see things in these terms. Maybe that was the best arragement for your parents. Maybe breaking up with that guy was the best thing for you at the moment. Concentrate on your studies as best as you can, although I imagine that can be a little difficult for you now, especially if you are an only child. Try not to take sides. Listen to both mom and dad, so they can vent, but don't accuse anyone (even if you know for sure one of them made the biggest mistake) and don't present yourself as a victim of their separation. Separations are often dramatic, but there doesn't need to be physical violence and verbal abuse. Be strong. Cry and mourn if you have to, but go on with your life as well. You will survive.
I actually went through something very similar about 7 years ago! I was just 18 and my boyfriend who I had been dating for over a year who was my first love broke up with me. My sister had just moved off to college in another state a few months before that and then my dad decided to leave my mom. I was still living at home at the time so it went from being our whole family to just my mom and me. While I was dealing with my break up, I had to deal with my parents' break up and my sister leaving for college. Our whole family was broken. Maybe it's because it was so long ago but for some reason although I remember it, I don't remember it being that devastating. I know it was hard, and I wonder if I partially blocked it out of my mind because I really can't remember how I dealt with it or how I felt. I do know that my mom and I became extremely close because of it. We helped each other through it and it was then that we started to really talk. She is now one of my best friends and I tell her everything!
Situations like yours and mine are never easy. Everything seems to come tumbling down all at once and it's overwhelming. The best thing you can do is stay busy and be there for both of your parents. Spend time with both of them and keep an open relationship with both of them.
I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time. I wish I had some better advice for you!