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Old 08-15-2008, 04:31 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New Jersey
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KDD 26 HB User
Got to Stop Letting This Get to Me

My mother and I used to get along great. Now I can't stand to be in the room with her for longer than 5 minutes. I am afraid to say anything because she might take it the wrong way and blow up. I find myself walking on eggshells around her. She can never be wrong and everything is always someone else's fault. She screams and yells about the littlest things; and she can never let anything drop.

Today it all finally got to me. I found myself practically in tears as I was driving in work. I mentioned something about someone I work with calling out after giving her two weeks notice. My mother said that I would do the same thing if I was in that postition. That is something I would never do. I find that to be something very inconsiderate. When I told her this she replied that I have to stop acting like a saint because I am not.

She is driving me so crazy that I do not want to live in my house anymore. I know I have to because I don't have the resources to support myself. I play the lottery a few times a week in hope that I will win and I can get out of my house.

I know that I have to stop letting this get to me, but I just can't. I actually started crying writing this out of frustration. Any advice about how to get through this until I get myself on my feet so I can move out on my own would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
KDD
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Old 08-15-2008, 06:57 PM   #2
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mud1ta333 HB User
Re: Got to Stop Letting This Get to Me

First I want to tell you.... I realy don't think it's you. I have been having a hard time with my life lately and find myself doing the same things to the one's I love as your mother is doing to you. I'm aware of it and maybe your mother isn't. But I don't think it's easy for anyone to deal with me. I'd like to appologise for her. Although I don't know her. Maybe hearing it from someone who has the same problem will help.. I've been depressed and fighting it. Finally I caved and just let myself slip and that's when I started getting snappy and overly oppinionated and all that. If she's like me she has self esteem issues. Maybe give her a compliment, or compliment things she likes. "Oh I like that tv show." or, "those are some nice shoes" I don't know. It's a thought. It does sound a little like verbal abuse. Usually that's just someone being mean to feel in control from my experience. Be strong... Look at it like a bully at work. I know it's your mom but the parts are her you love are probably not in control when she says those things. So they don't need to affect you so much.... Best of luck...

Last edited by mud1ta333; 08-15-2008 at 06:58 PM. Reason: mis typed

 
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Old 08-16-2008, 02:54 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New Jersey
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KDD 26 HB User
Re: Got to Stop Letting This Get to Me

Thanks for that reply

I have been doing some research and talking to people at work about what is going on. I think it might have to do with her being out of whack because of she is going through menopause.

We just had another spat just a few minutes ago. We are going away next week to drop my sister off at college. After we drop my sister off, we will stay down there for another two days. Now my mother wants to stay an extra day. I would love to, but I do not think that I can spend that much alone time with her. She asked our opinions and I said I would like to come home when we planned. She got all huffy and asked why. I can't come right out and tell her because that will just make her angrier. I know that I could bring my own car and leave when I get frustrated, but I would still have to explain why. She said that since I didn't have a legitimate reason I would just have to get over it. I was going to say that I wanted to see if I could spend time with my boyfriend, but I thought that wasn't going to be a legitimate excuse (turns out it would have been. too bad I didn't use it when I had the chance).

I know this sounds like a vent, but I need to get it out.

Thanks
KDD
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KDD

 
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