I would really like your input and suggestions concerning what is going on in my life.....so as some of you know i got out of a bad relationship a few months back, but thanks to whorl of the world I am back dating again....anyways i work part-time at the hospital and go to school full time....since i started working at the hospital I began to having a "crush" on a co-worker of mine.....I know work relationships can be difficult but they also can be lovely (given the maturity of each individual). anyways i want to get to know him outside of work but... a) i am scared to approach him for something other than work issues. b) well A is enough
anyways let me give you a little more detail. he is older than i am, much older....i would say by about 18 years.....he is super intelligent (at least in my pov). I don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. I am not willing to ask around b/c people have a tendency to put two and two together and blow it up.....he and i hardly work together, so we hardly talk....he works the night shift during the week and i work the night shift on the weekends....we only work together when he picks up a shift for someone else.
the only dialogue that takes place between us is when he says something like "studying?" and i reply "yes"......it is hard to invoke further conversation......so what do you guys suggest? should i forget about my crush and focus on other things or pursue what i want? and if i do go after what i want how should i go about getting to know him better????
I'd say: go ahead! What do you ever have to lose? He may not be exactly who you think he is (we always have surprises), but you won't know who he is unless you approach him within a relationship. That is for sure.
So, you already have your strategy: to approach him. The question for you is probably how to approach him without appearing to be offering yourself. In order to do so, you need a tactic.
But wait a minute. The age gap is considerable. I don't know your age, but I presume he is in his early forties. You don't know if he has a girl-friend. I would be more concerned that he has a wife and a family. Since you don't want to ask around, do you think you could access information from your personnel department/office and discreetly check his marital status?
When you have this piece of information (or not, if you don't mind giving a shot in the dark - anyway don't be afraid, nobody will get hurt in principle), you should find an opportunity of being friendly to him. Your tactic. Why not render him a small service, even without being asked? Tidy up his desk or cupboard when he is not there, bring a vase of flowers (flowers are usually allowed everywhere) to decorate the place where you both work, bring some homebaked cookies or something, leave them on his desk or directly offer him some when you meet him. The trick is to engage him in casual conversation after he notices the change.
Hi there. First of all thanks for your words of encouragement. I was actually thinking about bringing some home-made gooey butter cookies. I have won the hearts of many by those tasty treats ....however, the only problem with that gesture is we don't work together unless he picks up a weekend shift......
Oh and he isn't married nor does he have any children. I think he was dating a young girl that works here in the hospital, but I am not sure if they are together anymore....yes he is in his early forties....and I am 24. I have tried to get info on him in ways other than asking people, but no such luck.....I do have his email adder but I don't want to email him. I would prefer, if I were going to ask him out, to ask him in person....
I know you don't work together, except exceptionally. But I guess you both work in the same space, right? So, if you change the environment, if you tidy it up, as much as possible, if you add some little personal things (a picture, a poster, a vase of flowers, a stick of incense, homemade cookies at his reach, whatever), you will be making some difference in the room, and you will possibly entice him into talking to you about it (provided that he notices it) as soon as he meets you. It is worth trying.