Hi, I dated a girl at work for a couple of months and we were getting on great. However she decided to call it as friends which I wasnt too happy with but I accepted it as didnt want to seem desperate and beg her.
since then I know she's been with another guy at work shortly after but i dont think this was anything more than sex. However I cant get her out of my head - we rarely talk much apart from the polite chat but i think about her first thing in the morning and last thing at night and the thought of her being with someone else especially from work makes me feel sick.
Its a lot harder as i see her each day at work and I just want to get her out of my head as its driving me nuts - any suggestions?
You are the only one who has any control over what is in your head. There is no simple method apart from focussing on other things, reminding of what she said, not taking it too much to heart (better to be let down now than later, believe me), and staying positive. Do not become pathetic or a stalky type, that will get you in deep trouble, both in your head and out. Hang in there, Sera.
Is finding another job an option? Sometimes you need to really get away from someone in order to get over them.
Not really an option at moment. I know its in my head and when I think logically I know it wasnt right and stuff. Just difficult cos she doesnt really speak to me anymore and its all polite small talk where I see her laughing and joking with others like she once did we me.
Unfortunately or not, only time can help you - in the long run.
In the short run, find another activity after or before work: pick up a foreign language or any other thing (not very easy, but not extremely difficult, either), weightlifting, gardening, what do I know, to keep you busy. Find other people to talk to and to go out with. The best remedy is not to stop living. Gradually you will forget her, or at least you will downsize her to the appropriate proportion. I don't think she was so very important to you, anyway. It is rather your hurt pride, if I may say so. Anyway, I don't think you would want her back into your life now, now that you have found, right or wrong, that she appears to be rather cheap.
I'm back talking with the girl and its bit light banter and things. I feel a lot better and it doesnt really bother me. However something has really thrown me.
Last week, I noticed when she left for the day she and this other guy from work went to her car and he got an overnight bag out from her car. Obviously straight away I thought this lookled like he had spent the night with her. Since then I have learnt that they are seeing each other. Now what shocks me though is this.
The only time that this guy got mentioned in a conversation was from her about how she didnt like him and he was a bit weird. It wasn't the type of conversation where someone will say it but secretly they like them. She called him scruffy and not attractive. I actually defended them at the time and said they were ok.
So forward on a couple of months and now this. It draws me to a few conclusions:
a) Either she is loving the attention that she must be getting off new guy
b) She is playing some game
c) She isnt that choosy after all.
Egh yah A lot of times with girls esp they say the opposite of what they mean. Either way this girl sounds kinda of flakey/shady. Forget about her. Shouldnt be doing stuff with ppl you work with anyhow. I have had several instances where girls at work would come on to me, but I avoided them because I know where it would leaad....drama. No need for it. I am not the best with realtionships for the long haul, but for the short ones, I would say go out and find another.