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Old 08-21-2008, 11:27 AM   #1
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Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

Hello my name is jessica

I am 28 years old I am a student and work in retail. I ended a 9 year relationship in August of 2007. I know one would think after this much time I should be married. As fate would have it, out of the blue I really found the man I dreamed of for many years. My former relationship encountered many hardships, so it is finally time for me to move on to better things.Since This Fedex man came into my life I feel ontop of the world, and confident as ever.
Heres my story:

I started by retail job in May of 2007, out of the blue this VERY handsome FEDEX delivery guy came in to my store, for the FIRST time ever in my adult life I was a loss for words when he came up to me to take the package, I was speechless. I literally for the first time felt very guilty that I really had immediate attraction this guy,when I was in a deep relationship with someone. My boyfriend at the same time showed up.I dont want this to feel like a rebound relationship. But it has been 1 year, and I am ready to pursue him, simply because evidence shows he likes me. Now the question is why would he not ask me out. Is he shy, is he married, I am scared to know the truth.
Yes we are both attractive people. People say I look like a version of ROSlyn sanchez, and the FedEX guy looks like Jesse from Desperate Housewives. So maybe he just is intimidated, however I have been very friendly to him, so what is the problem?


DO YOU THINK MEETING THIS MAN WAS JUST A WAKE UP CALL FOR ME TO DUMP MY EX OR WERE ME AND THE FED EX MEANT TO MEET WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT? SECONDLY, IS IT OK TO GO ON A LUNCH DATE VS. A DINNER DATE.

Last edited by mejnuni; 08-21-2008 at 11:45 AM.

 
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Old 08-21-2008, 11:31 AM   #2
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Re: Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

he maybe leery about asking you out for fear of rejection, knowing that he has to show up every day there for his job.....

 
Old 08-21-2008, 11:36 AM   #3
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Re: Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

Asking him out for brunch on a Sunday cannot hurt....that is aday he's assuredly off at Fed Ex. And I doubt he has time for a lunch hour really working for Fed Ex as they work on a product delivered timeline.

You might ask and find he's married, he's gay, he's single and willing, or single nad not interested. You're encountering someone in a work environment - where people are generally put their best foot forward at all times as far as charm and charisma.

I can totally see where he'd never ask anybody out that he makes a delivery to - particularly while on a delivery. That could have repercussions.

Asking out a stranger is opening up a can of worms.....so if he were to ask out a "crazy chick" and she got his job involved if he stopped seeing her - that owuld be negative to him.

 
Old 08-21-2008, 12:56 PM   #4
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Re: Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

I for one would need more information to get a clearer picture. Are you on a first name basis with him? Do you laugh, joke, talk about the latest movies, the new club that opened up last weekend, or is it just "sign here please" and *smile* and *smile back* and he's out the door? What's the extent of your relationship with him? You may need to do a bit more ground work with him before you actually ask him out. If you don't even know if he's married or not, seems you do need to lay some ground work first. Get a more in depth conversation going. Hard to do when he drops off packages, gets a signature and is gone, I know, but I do think you have to get closer to him before you can ask him out and he will say yes without thinking "cool, this chick wants me, easy free sex!!! Maybe she'll even pay for dinner first!!" And if you really play your cards right, you can get close enough to him to get HIM to ask YOU out.

Spend a little more time on the small talk, building a rapport, getting to know him. So how was your weekend? What did you do? I wanted to check out this movie or that club but didn't get to, maybe next weekend...etc. Small talk that will not only allow you to get to know him better, but will also let him know that you are interested and will not say know if HE asks you out.

 
Old 08-21-2008, 02:01 PM   #5
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Re: Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

Fed Ex people are contract laborers that are paid to deliver "X" amount of packages in "Y" amount of time...a.nd they're absolutely famous for the requirement to have to find the building or desk quick, get the signature and go.

This guy isn't going to linger while he's on the job. She's going to have to ask him to coffee at a point when he's not at work - to get any information.

 
Old 08-21-2008, 02:03 PM   #6
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Re: Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

Since Larylou had the best reponse, I wanted to respond.
He knows my name, but I dont know his. I know he is interested, because He stood in one spot and just looked at me, and it was during my lunch break. I saw him more than a handful of times when I was going to my lunch, and his delievery never ran that late. I will be honest, the fact that a guy i like cant ask me out, is a turn on, because alot of men "HIT" on me and approach me nicely, but it is a challenge why this one man cant get the nerve to talk to me. The fact that he looked at me alot, says to me he is not married, however lets face it men are men, just because he looks consistently hard, doesnt mean he is not married. right?

Last edited by mejnuni; 08-21-2008 at 02:24 PM. Reason: wrong name

 
Old 08-21-2008, 02:05 PM   #7
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Re: Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

First off, you make it sound like a failure that you are not married at 28. I didn't get married until I was in my early 30s. Nobody ever questioned me about why I wasn't married (now, that I'm 40, I do get the occasional "when you are having children?" but that is more of a time-sensitive matter though still a rude question). Anyway, I knows lots of people who did not marry until even later in life. There isn't a rule or a "supposed to" or "no later than" age when it comes to settling down.

Second, I wonder if he hasn't asked you out because you have a business relationship. He is servicing your business, so he has more to lose (or fear of losing) than you do. I think that if you feel a chemistry and mutual attraction, you should take the initiative since he may feel like it is inappropriate. If you have trouble asking him out, why don't you make it sound like a more casual thing. That is, ask him to an event or festival, movie or concert like, "hey I really want to see this movie but all of my friends have seen it already..." Note, movies are generally not good ideas for a first date in that you can't talk but once you get him hooked into the idea of a movie or concert or some such, then you can say, "hey we should grab dinner beforehand". But hopefully you get the gist.

Lastly, lunch dates are always good because you can have an "appointment" scheduled for afterwards. Y'know, in case you feel like it was a complete disaster. I say that because he may seem like a really great guy but you've only had this business relationship with him. I'm amazed at how undesirable some guys are when they are out of their customer-friendly work mode (I'm sure that goes for women too).

Good luck!

 
Old 08-22-2008, 10:30 AM   #8
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Re: Advice on asking a guy out for the first time

Quote:
Originally Posted by mejnuni View Post
Since Larylou had the best reponse, I wanted to respond.
He knows my name, but I dont know his. I know he is interested, because He stood in one spot and just looked at me, and it was during my lunch break. I saw him more than a handful of times when I was going to my lunch, and his delievery never ran that late. I will be honest, the fact that a guy i like cant ask me out, is a turn on, because alot of men "HIT" on me and approach me nicely, but it is a challenge why this one man cant get the nerve to talk to me. The fact that he looked at me alot, says to me he is not married, however lets face it men are men, just because he looks consistently hard, doesnt mean he is not married. right?
Right. A man can be married and relentlessly hit on and even sleep with other women.

I think all you can do is do your best to be close by, not on your lunch break but right there when he comes. Is there any way you can be the one he gets the signature from and makes the delivery to? If you can maneuver it that way, do so. Smile sweetly, and say "thanks....I've never heard you say your name!!" And if he's into you he'll smile tell you his name. Wish him a good day and build from there. Chip away bit by bit every day. Talk to him a little bit every day for a few days, maybe a week. Then if you want to ask him to meet you for coffee or something, then you'll be in a better position to do so. It won't be just this strange girl he's never really talked to just out of the blue asking him for a date.

Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 08-22-2008 at 10:35 AM.

 
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