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Old 08-21-2008, 08:42 PM   #1
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does age make a difference??

hi guys and girls,

i was just reading a post about the age diff when dating and i want to get your opinion. let me first give you my opinion....

i am 24 and have always dated older men. the guy i just got out of a four yr relationship with is 11 year older than myself.......the guy before that was 15yrs older than me.....and a guy that i would like to get to know is about 20 yrs older than me.....i have always had a strong sense of 'who i am, and what i want out of life' so i haven't explored too much....i know this could back around and bite me in the bum later in life, but what can i say?? as of now, i know what my goals are......however just b/c i know what i want doesn't meant that i won't add or delete some of my goals/wants....i will and i do....but i am hoping to improve my character with time, and i suppose that if i do change than my goals will change as well...

anyways, in a nut shell, i don't believe that age should be the deal breaker in a relationship... rather the personality and the probability of the two getting along in the long run (the mass probability should not be based upon age) should be on the top of the list....why shouldn't i be with someone i love, even if they are twenty yrs older than i am, just b/c it is taboo in society?????

Linds

Last edited by lindsjean; 08-21-2008 at 09:02 PM.

 
Old 08-21-2008, 09:27 PM   #2
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Re: does age make a difference??

I think if you're both of age and you are happy and its working then theres nothing wrong with it. Everyone is different and you have to find what it is that makes you happy and if it is older men, so be it.

 
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:40 PM   #3
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Re: does age make a difference??

Dating-wise, I don't think there is a difference at all. Serious relationship-wise, again not a problem, unless the two people involved are at different points of their lives (younger person wants kids, older person doesn't/already has adult children and doesn't want anymore) but that also applies for people of the same age group.

But other than that, age shouldn't make a difference as long as both people are on the same page and both are being treated right.

Last edited by Leaf80; 08-21-2008 at 09:40 PM.

 
Old 08-21-2008, 10:08 PM   #4
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Re: does age make a difference??

It doesn't matter to me what you or others do with their life. I know a gal that married a 20+ year older guy and they now look alike..he is 80 and she is 60 going on 80(it's true you do actually began to look alike) I guess since you posted the question then I'd have to ask you why you don't stay with these guys and why are you making it a mission to date older and older men? and you seem quite proud the next one is older than the last. I suspect there is an underlying reason and more to this than you simply dating older guys.

 
Old 08-21-2008, 11:09 PM   #5
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Re: does age make a difference??

I don't think that age matters. It is the person and his qualities that matter. There are young people that seem middle aged at 20 and there are older people that seem young. It all depends on the person, not how many birthdays they have celebrated.

 
Old 08-22-2008, 02:28 AM   #6
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Re: does age make a difference??

I'm of the opinion that age doesn't matter that much if the man is older than the woman. In this case, even a twenty-year age difference, which is a little less than a generation, would be acceptable, provided that the man keep healthy and (sexually and socially) active and of course the partners be in general compatible. Sharing goals and looking up to each other helps a lot. A wider difference might pose a few problems, because it might begin to look externally like a parent-child relationship. But again this is a personal choice: some people don't really care about what it looks like and what others may think about it.

I am not sure about a lasting relationship where the woman is relatively older than the man. I am not saying that it can't be successful, but if the age difference is of more than ten years I am afraid it has something to do with a man looking at his wife as if she were his second mother and she looking at him as if he were her biggest kid, and with an even more difficult relationship between his own mother (family) and his wife. Also, there may be some problems with having and educating kids. Contrary to the case above, the problems here are both internal and external. But again, this is a personal decision. If both parties are willing to cope with the hardships and challenges...

Last edited by pendulum; 08-22-2008 at 07:22 AM.

 
Old 08-22-2008, 06:49 AM   #7
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Re: does age make a difference??

If you are a "live for the day" type person then it doesn't really matter. I am in my mid 40's though and I couldn't imagine having a husband that was mid 60's! To me, a 50 year old is not OLD but a 70 year old is OOOOOLD!!!! See what I'm saying!?
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Old 08-22-2008, 11:14 AM   #8
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Re: does age make a difference??

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnD View Post
It doesn't matter to me what you or others do with their life. I know a gal that married a 20+ year older guy and they now look alike..he is 80 and she is 60 going on 80(it's true you do actually began to look alike) I guess since you posted the question then I'd have to ask you why you don't stay with these guys and why are you making it a mission to date older and older men? and you seem quite proud the next one is older than the last. I suspect there is an underlying reason and more to this than you simply dating older guys.

AnnD yes there is a reason why the two older guys and i didn't stay together....the reason is ME. the first relationship that i had with an older man, we were actually engaged to be married. we got along but he wanted me to be a "housewife" and i wanted to get my education. i called the wedding off three months before the big day and it was the best decision i have ever made! he and i still talk on occasion, there isn't any hard feelings, we just didn't make a good team in life. plus i was really young when we first got together...i was seventeen.
the next guy that i was with, i was still "growing up" in the beginning of the relationship thus making the first year we were together a rocky one....to be honest i think i matured A LOT b/c of that relationship.....but so much damage was done by both of us that it is hard to rectify......

 
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