Re: brink of breaking
Poor child. I wish his father would be more understanding, but it doesn't seem he will change for the time being.
Can you separate the man from the father? I mean, is he a good father to the boy, even though he was a cheater and a liar to you, even though he refuses to follow your patterns of education? I hope so. Anyway, I think your way of educating the child should be respected, since you were presumedly the first parent to look after him. You have this prerrogative. But as painful and frustrating as it can be, as a parent he probably also has the right to say a word or two.
Do you have a lawyer yourself? Since you alone have the custody of the little one, you have more power, but you could use (or share) your power diplomatically. Let your attorney tell the father about your conditions. You are ready to negotiate some of them, but the basic routine must be respected, in the interest of the child, by both himself and his current lady, you know. I know it won't be easy, but he might become more respectful of your ways if he approached with friendliness and authority in the same breath. If he is also given some responsibility for his own child.