went out with a guy at work, now I regret it - Relationship Health Message Board

Sugar64 · 08-25-2008, 08:24 AM

Hi all,
I'm pretty puzzled over this one.

I've been at my present job for almost 3 years now, and I've made it my policy to never date anyone from work. There's a guy here who's been asking me out from the get-go, and I never went out with him, although I found him really attractive. I found out he has a reputation for being a player and a dog with women, but he was always very nice to me, and very professional. Long story short, he asked me out again and I finally gave in and went, on one dinner date with him almost a month ago. We agreed we'd keep it totally discreet and no weirdness between us. Well, that was a month ago, and he hasn't asked me out since, and has acted like it never even happened. He's still very nice to me and flirts with me on occassion, but I'm wondering what's up, and now I DO feel weird. He even commented on how I'm giving him a complex and how quiet I am around him now. I feel like shouting, "well, dummy, it's because you took me out once and then acted like it never happened." Now I regret going out with him at all, and from the way he was talking to me, I think he just wanted to see if he could get me to go out with him because I've never gone out with anyone from work before, like it was a game to him. Needless to say, if he ever DID ask me out again, I would NOT go. To complicate matters further, this all happened while I was broken up with my fiance, and over this past weekend, we decided to get back together and make things work. I feel like I did something wrong and made a stupid decision, but I know I really didn't. I think I'm going to stick with my fiance no matter what, because I don't want to be in the dating game with all the players and dogs out there. I am just so stupid. I'm just going to act like this never happened. What do you all think?

lindsjean · 08-25-2008, 09:05 AM

sugar64,

if you and your fiancee are together, i wouldn't worry about the other guy. i know it is hard not to wonder 'why didn't we go out again' but aren't you trying to work things out with the man you might marry??

you don't have to answer but did you sleep with other guy from work? if so, he might of just wanted to get "some"....

sometimes in life we want to be the exceptions to things. for example a guy cheats his whole life and then bam we are the one we got him to stop cheating....however it is usually not that simple. people want what they want, when they want it and they will use whatever manipulation tactic they have up their sleeve....(girls do this as well, so don't think i am coming down on guys)

oh and what does he mean by you are "giving him a complex"? you guys went out ONE time!?!
even though i don't know the whole situation, my advice would be to leave this guy alone. it seems his reputation of being a player still stands!
focus on your current relationship, if that is what you want!

Kszan · 08-25-2008, 09:59 AM

I'd also say forget about the guy. Be civil at work, but don't go out of your way to talk to him or interact with him. Your first priority should be your fiance, so just put this work guy out of your mind. It doesn't matter why he didn't talk to you anymore, that's completely irrelevant now. Just move on and work on your future with your fiance.

Mileena42 · 08-25-2008, 10:17 AM

Yep, I think he just wanted to see if you would go. He got his answer and he is finished. You had a good time and got a nice dinner out of it....so I wouldn't read too much into it. I don't think you have to worry about him asking you out again. He is a dog and a player....but I wouldn't be ashamed or feel uncomfortable that I went out with him. After all, you did nothing wrong.

I would just treat him like you have for the past 3 years and go along with the game of it "never happened". You didn't gain anything, you didn't lose anything.

Mileena

valleygirl2005 · 08-25-2008, 12:01 PM

Yeah, Sugar64, I also agree with the other ladies. . . I too have been in a similar situation, only the guy at work and I actually became boyfriend/girlfriend when my current boyfriend and I broke up. The guy at work and I only dated like a month, and we broke up after he cheated and tried to cover it up. He as well is a dirty dog and a player. I have regreted ever dating him! Now we try to keep it civil at work, but he is such a dog that he still tries to get me to go over to his house so we can "hang out" even though he's with the girl he cheated on me with!

I also agree with you when you said you don't want to be in the "dating game" with all the players and dogs out there... which is why I too stick with my bf, eventhough we've got problems of our own, but I almost think I'd rather stick with those problems, then be paroniod that he cheating (which I havent had a problem with him)...