It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-28-2008, 09:52 AM   #1
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 555
deskette HB User
does anyone else obsess?! :) i think i nailed it.

i'm always trying to figure something out, so i can learn to maintain whatever is bothering me. i think i know why i over think, and then re-think about over thinking.

i have come to the conclusion that i have a controlling "issue"
even when i was younger i was a bossy little brat (i guess we all are huh?). but even now when i dont get my way sometimes i act like a brat, and im an adult!
i think that i obsess about things, and i'm constantly thinking (or depicking) about the same thing for a long period of time because im trying to figure out a way to control the situation.
the relationship that im in now, is the first relationship where i dont have total control over him, or in other words- i dont have his "man card"
I have only been in like 2 serious relationships (my current one being my 2nd) before that i was a "serial dater" as others would call it.
So when i was a serial dater & throughout my first relationship, i had control over who i was dating. I mean complete control.

so i feel like this is an issue for me (not that i want to be in control, but because i want to control how to not be that way), because in my current relationship we make choices together when it comes to our relationship & then we also do what we want to do outside of the relationship. I dont have control over him and he makes his own choices (which is the way it SHOULD be anyways, im not complaining!).
when he does things i rather him not do, i think about it and i stress myself out because i dont have control over it.
i have to keep telling myself that its okay for him to have control & that its not up to me to detail his every move...
does this even make sense? i dont feel like im explaining myself good enough.

anyways, what i want to know is-
how can i keep myself from trying to control everything, every detail and every thought of others?
how can i be okay with not getting my way?
how can i not stress myself out, when things dont go the way i want them to go?

this isnt a problem for my relationship, because i have been able to stablize my actions... before i came up with this conclusion i was constantly trying to figure out why i obsess over stupid things.
now that i figured out my problem, everything makes more sense to me and now i feel like i understand why i obsess & depick everything.

so anybody else in my shoes? any suggestions on how i can "fix this"?

Last edited by deskette; 08-28-2008 at 09:56 AM. Reason: typo

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-28-2008, 10:53 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
pendulum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florianópolis, Brazil
Posts: 3,713
pendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB User
Re: does anyone else obsess?! :) i think i nailed it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sillysilly_ goose View Post
...

anyways, what i want to know is-
1. how can i keep myself from trying to control everything, every detail and every thought of others?
2. how can i be okay with not getting my way?
3. how can i not stress myself out, when things dont go the way i want them to go?

...
You have asked three questions, but they are three questions only in disguise: actually it is just one question - how can I live a whole life?

Here a few suggestions:

Focus on yourself, on your projects, your goals, on what you have to do. At the same also concentrate on what you are doing to reach your goal, that is on the way. The way to reach your goal is as important as your goal itself. Somehow, you may never reach your goal, but if you have paid attention to the way while you were on the way, then you will have learned something at least, even if you fail.

Start with a physical activity on a regular basis: it could something like yoga or Swedish Gymnastics, whatever. But it is important for you to develop the habit of working with your body and paying attention to it rather than your thoughts. This doesn't mean, however, you are to become a superficial person.

Learn to listen. Listen more than speak.

Don't blame other people.

Smile oftener. Don't take offence at petty things. Don't retaliate. Just register what someone did to you, but move on. When you are angry, don't do anything until it is over.

Look after your personal health. Improve your sleeping patterns. Sleeping well is a good way of dealing with stress and fatigue and fear.

Accept that life is a cycle: if not today, then maybe tomorrow.

Also accept that this is an imperfect world. Do as best as you can, but stay humble with your achievements.

And never forget to say "thank you" and to apologize, when appropriate.

 
Old 08-28-2008, 10:57 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,330
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: does anyone else obsess?! :) i think i nailed it.

sillygoose the only thing that works for me is staying OUT of a relationship, that way I have control

you may be OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder......I am

check out the OCD board here.

 
Old 08-28-2008, 12:13 PM   #4
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 555
deskette HB User
Re: does anyone else obsess?! :) i think i nailed it.

pendulum
wow! i really liked what you said.. im even going to print it so when im at home i can remind myself. it all makes sense, i dont even have any questions!! wow. thank you so much for your input

rose
i was thinking OCD... but i dont know. i looked into it, and i posted a thread there actually last week but got no replies. i dont recall getting any anyways.
this relationship has helped me because once i realized that i cant control him, and once i noticed how obsessed i can get about little things, i have been able to figure out why/how i have been making my life a nightmare. i have always been the one in charge, and now for the first time i realize that IM NOT. so with that being said i just need to work on this because its an issue i have with myself.

 
Old 08-31-2008, 08:38 AM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Rizal, Philippines
Posts: 1
mgsconcepcion HB User
hey!

yeah it's hard having OCD problem

Last edited by mgsconcepcion; 09-01-2008 at 11:11 AM.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 08:11 AM   #6
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 555
deskette HB User
Re: does anyone else obsess?! :) i think i nailed it.

so my doctor prescribed me zoloft for my anxiety & possible OCD.. has anybody tried this before?

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Worries--does anyone have the kind I do? I_M_Scared Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 7 11-03-2010 05:12 PM
does anyone else think their pure o is unique jseiter2 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 06-26-2009 08:04 PM
does anyone grin/smile while having OCD thoughts? rastarose5 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 05-27-2006 08:36 AM
what am i can anyone help? emmsypoo Personality Disorder 3 01-20-2006 12:12 PM
Does Anyone Else Feel Like.... HELLASRULES Menopause 157 07-03-2005 08:38 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (271), rosequartz (251), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (95), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1165), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:52 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!