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Old 08-28-2008, 12:51 PM   #1
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Is it possible?

Is it possible for a person to be in Love with you but don't show it or tell you?
when that perticular person is a female thats none-affectionate/none emotional, but believes in Love??
how can one tell? and be sure?

 
Old 08-28-2008, 01:22 PM   #2
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Re: Is it possible?

Yes, there are some people who can be in love but not be affectionate. Some people were raised that way and being affectionate never comes to mind. But if you are the type of person that needs affirmation of love, and your partner doesn't want to give it to you then it's time to move on because there are too many fish in the sea, and too many woman who LOVE to show love.

And I know you're talking about your ex, why can't you move on? She isn't the one for you. Either she shows love or she doesn't. And if she doesn't then why are you settling? You deserve to have what you want. Honestly, either you're willing to live with it, or live without it and obviously you don't want to live w/o out but you keep looking for people to tell you it's okay to settle and it's not.

Last edited by Ms_ENV27; 08-28-2008 at 01:24 PM.

 
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Old 08-28-2008, 01:30 PM   #3
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Re: Is it possible?

Well, if somebody is non-affectionate and non-emotional, they do not sound like relationship material anyway. They sound kind of psychopathic.

If someone loves you (and it's a selfless love, not a selfish one) then they'd want to show you, and do things to make you happy. Love is an action. Stay away from unemotional, hollow people...there is nothing "there" and all you will get from them is hurt.
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Old 08-28-2008, 01:42 PM   #4
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Re: Is it possible?

chevyman - no, no a million times no........
please don't tell us you're still going round and round with this broad!
you post this so non-chalont hoping no one will recognize! LOL
Busted, we know who're you're talking about.....We know the story.....and it shouldn't take long for Happy Mom to come on here and tell you the same thing!
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Find someone who wants to reciprocate! Stop letting this girl use you!
you deserve better! We're gonna keep telling you the same thing everytime you ask!!!! Trust us, we wouldn't steer you wrong!

 
Old 08-28-2008, 01:43 PM   #5
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Re: Is it possible?

I don't think it really matters. Someone can love you very much, but if HOW they love you doesn't work with how you need to be loved, then it doesn't really matter how much they love you, does it? Love in itself has no real value. If it did, I'd be happily married with a couple of kids by now, because I loved my ex boyfriend very very much. I just didn't know how to love him very well, and I couldn't love him in the way he needed, so he left and found someone better suited.

So the question you have to ask yourself isn't really "does she really love me?" but rather "do I FEEL loved around her?"

 
Old 08-28-2008, 01:45 PM   #6
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Re: Is it possible?

Chevy, did you take her back?

 
Old 08-28-2008, 03:08 PM   #7
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Re: Is it possible?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
chevyman - no, no a million times no........
please don't tell us you're still going round and round with this broad!
you post this so non-chalont hoping no one will recognize! LOL
Busted, we know who're you're talking about.....We know the story.....and it shouldn't take long for Happy Mom to come on here and tell you the same thing!
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Find someone who wants to reciprocate! Stop letting this girl use you!
you deserve better! We're gonna keep telling you the same thing everytime you ask!!!! Trust us, we wouldn't steer you wrong!
Rose, how did you know? LOL

I'm sorry to say chevyman, the answer is a definate "NO" here.

I'm also sorry that you are still so broken up over this girl. I'm guessing she's still giving you the same old song and dance of "I can change" and "I love you but I just show it this way" or whatever it is she is saying. But the bottom line is she isn't right for you. She isn't the kind of girl you want to be with and no amount of trying is going to get her to be something she's not.

She needs a "sugar daddy" who gives her everything she wants. She needs someone she can keep on a short leash so she doesn't have to worry. You need a "partner". Someone who treats you with the same respect you show them. Someone who reciprocates their love and affection toward you. Someone who trusts you enough to not be with them 24/7 and allow you to have a life outside of them. Neither one of you is wrong. You are just not compatible. Does this help?

*Disclaimer: If this is not the same girl you are talking about then I take back this post and agree with what Larrylou'smom has to say on the subject.

 
Old 08-28-2008, 04:18 PM   #8
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Re: Is it possible?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
I don't think it really matters. Someone can love you very much, but if HOW they love you doesn't work with how you need to be loved, then it doesn't really matter how much they love you, does it? Love in itself has no real value. If it did, I'd be happily married with a couple of kids by now, because I loved my ex boyfriend very very much. I just didn't know how to love him very well, and I couldn't love him in the way he needed, so he left and found someone better suited.

So the question you have to ask yourself isn't really "does she really love me?" but rather "do I FEEL loved around her?"
Larrylou's mom, this is so true. Somebody may say they love you, but if you don't feel loved, who cares what they say. Vice versa is also true. It is all how you feel around them.

 
Old 08-28-2008, 06:44 PM   #9
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Re: Is it possible?

Yeah rose I'm ''busted''..lol
I think its just all me because I am deeply in Love with her and I just can't tell if she trully Loves me or not.?

No I have not got back with her but we were intimate a few nights ago she did come over and welll it happen.

I did tell her I need more time and just because we were intimate don't mean I've changed my mind..I'm a man and I Love sex ...but its not what you guys may think its the intimacy part that I Love and the way she makes me feel when she around me...I Love her.

I just want her to tell me she loves me...sure she says things like Mmmm oh yes yes that feels so good and during forplay is when I thought she might tell me..I say I Love You soooo much and she just says yeah me too???

I thought she might changed and tell me she loves me but she never has and the other night she never told me either and we had a wonderful session togather.

I'm just so confused as to what to do I know I'll never find a nother woman quite like she is....maybe this is my trouble??

Anyway thank guys I appreciate the support.

 
Old 08-29-2008, 04:37 PM   #10
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Re: Is it possible?

Hey Chevy, She is withholding from you. She is in control. This sounds very dangerous to me. I am not sure if it is on purpose or not, but it sounds like she knows somewhat of what she is doing and she should not withhold telling you she loves you and keep you hanging on a string. What is this "yeah me too", what is she in junior high? Unbelievable. Sometimes we are attracted to wrong people and feel different things. I think danger is one thing you are feeling. I believe you will find someone to fall in love with and who will fall in love with you, it is real and it does happen, never settle, never! Okay, you don't know me yet and yes I am passionate.....G

 
Old 08-29-2008, 09:32 PM   #11
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Re: Is it possible?

Thank You gwoman, your to kind.
I'm not sure what you mean about feeling danger?
she pretty poteet woman..lol

maybe you mean heartbreak? I've had a few of those and I can't take anymore.
btw I'm a very passionate man.
thanks for your post,
I appreciate it and I appreciate the support and opinions from you all.

 
Old 08-29-2008, 10:27 PM   #12
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Re: Is it possible?

Hey Chevy, the dangerous thing was about feelings, sometimes I am in a dangerous place, not physically, but the way the relationship is being played out, manipulation, controlling (dangerous), it can give us heightened feelings inside. It is not the same with every person, being controlled by this person makes you feel ________, but with this person, being controlled by them makes you feel _________. For me it is not always the same and not necessarily bad. Do you know what I mean? Anyone? (Bueller, Bueller? LOL, okay I am a movie buff, quick what movie is this line from....)

Is this all just blowing up in my face, like I should stop and go to bed already. If I read this tomorrow and regret it, will you all still have me? I am so punch drunk right now, good night......G

 
Old 09-06-2008, 02:02 PM   #13
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Re: Is it possible?

I know from my own experience that someone could have told me until they were blue in the face that a man was wrong for me and I wouldn't listen. What happens is once the relationship is over and you move on and find someone else... THEN... you see the difference in the new person (hopefully the new person is a good person) and the old one that was left behind. I can barely remember your story Chevy... but I do remember that she was using you. There are lots of users out there. I have a male friend that is very wealthy and 3 women (gold diggers) got him.. one right after another and he never learned. He lost 3 homes and his kids respect. You need to know that you can love someone until it hurts... but once you realize that your self respect is more important then anything, youll see when someone is using you and you'll say "I deserve the best". Oh.. and about not ever being able to find someone like her ever again? I said that about my EX-model husband.... he was drop dead gorgeous... a great lover.... I was smitten.... doesn't that sound good?? Except for one thing... He was using me... should I have stayed with him? Well I married him.. and I was miserable. When someone treats you like they can take you or leave you, it gets to a point where looks mean NOTHING. I divorced. Chevy.. it may take her finding a new guy to completely replace you before she stops taking advantage of you, once she does I hope that you learn to look for women that treat you like the great guy you are. Once you have that you won't go back to the crumbs this woman is dolling out to you.

 
Old 09-06-2008, 02:40 PM   #14
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Re: Is it possible?

chevy wow i am dealing with a similiar situation like yours.. read my thread below I feel like i am gay or in denial/long story.. my ex gf was the same way thats because all men lied to her and cheated on her, so she says.. My ex gf never pleasured me ever or ever said i love you to me eaither.. i always whined and dined her too.. I cant stop thinking about my ex gf also.. My ex gf always texts me every 4-6 months and then that turns into calling me.. Then i dont stop thinking about her and pondering about sexxin her and making love to her.. Check this i have a great bf too and my bf is way differernt then my ex gf.. I think some woman play with your emotions and pretend to like us, but really dont.. sometimes i wonder if what they do is black magic, because its like they get so much power over us and we are a sucker for love for falling in there trap.. I did that.. i sexxed this ex gf of mine and she never did it to me, and it was like she had me wrapped around her finger.. i wouldnt stop thinking about her. while she was out flirting and chatten to her ex's in the mean time and robbing me blind.. i feel what your going through.. i cant get over my ex gf eaither and i have a bf.. im like stuck on her, but thats because she dont move on ans stop calling me every 4-6months.. i try to push her away and ask her has she met anybody new??? i know my ex gf used me too.. cathy you are so right in your below post, about the differences in people.. i have been with my bf for the past 6years on and off and he gices me the world and money and never robbed me or cheated on me, but i am lacking a woman too, so i left my angel bf twice for 2 woman who used me and i cant get over one of them.. my bf doesnt use drugs or smoke, all my ex gfs did.. chevy i feel your pain. its hard to move on.. We just have to admit to ourselves that its not meant to be and its an unhealthy relationship to continue.. I have a heart of gold and for some reason cant be coldhearted, but my ex gfs were always like that.. always for them and never for me.. i hope you can find your soulmate chevy. keep looking in positive places..

 
Old 09-08-2008, 07:39 AM   #15
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Re: Is it possible?

Thanks everyone,
I appreciate all your replys.

I have broken it off with my g/f I'm single agian, and it feels wonderful, I 'am just going on with my life the way I see too and do the best I can.

It's always nice to be in a loving romatic un-bias unjelous realtionship with the right person and some day I'll find miss right.

My g/f never was in love with me she finaly came out with it, it hurt my feelings when she said it but it felt good too.
I told her she was only useing me for the sex and my $$ and she admitted it.
So I told her to pack the rest of her things and get out.
she is free to do whatever she wants see who ever she wants..I wished her the best in life and that she does find someone that she can love and be in an open ''honest ''realtionship..we came to that understanging(finally).

I feel like a heavy burden has been lifed off my shoulders.
I will just take one day at a time, and not be so quick to get into a realationship.

I have babe female friends that I do go out with to have fun but its not on the romatic side of things and they all know that...kinda like sisters or just true platonic friends....they helped me through this realtionship and made me see the things I was blined with, just as all you guys have did ,you all made me see the true reality of life and how a person can affect your life.
I'm starting my life over and I hope for the better.
Thank you all for your help and opinons and advise.
chevyman

 
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