i am having a "self" relationship issue....I will try to make a long story short and clear as possible....
Growing up was not easy....I was passed along between my aunt and grandmother, b/c my mother was not (for lack of better word) "strong" enough to care for me. My mother was a single mother and has always had a lot of "issues" in her life and took most of her problems out on me. Since her issues consumed her life, she was not able to give good advice to her young daughter (myself). The types of things she would say was "if you can't get a hold of someone, KEEP calling until you reach them.....persistence will get you everything...." she didn't tell me that persistence is pushy; pressure breaks pipes and may make someone do something that they don't won't to do..... Also she showed my how to manipulate people to get what I want. She showed me how to "be a victim" and tears could get me anything that i wanted.....
anyways all these negative things moved into my adult life....i was a manipulating, conning, negative person and I just started to change that a couple of years ago. Even though my actions hurt a person that i really loved i am trying to be a "better person" and learn from my mistakes....
So there are a couple of reasons why I have posted this information and asking for you guys to reply:
1) i want to do things different from my mother and sometimes i find myself slipping back into my old ways....how do you suggest i delete my bad actions for good?
2) my mother tries to give me advice that makes no sense what so ever and she does silly things....it is IRRITATING!
e.g. she will call my phone 10x's in a row and will leave eight msgs.....or i will tell her i am walking into the gym and she will ask if she can come to the gym to get some money from me.... the woman is 54 yrs old and she calls her 24 yrs old daughter weekly to get money
! what! (i want to stop talking to my mother, but i feel sorry for her b/c she doesn't have any friends)
3) since i am used to getting my way, it is sometimes hard when i don't get my way or do something that "nice" people wouldn't normally do.
for example: the other night some friends and i went out to a movie...after that i wanted to get a drink. the people i was with rather of did something at home, but i insisted we go out for a drink. the place turned out to not be so great and the guy i was with said "r u happy now that you've gotten your way?" then my friend wanted to sit down at the bar....so i went up to some strange guy and asked him if he could get up so my friend could sit down.... who in the heck does this???
he did get up, but the people i was with felt sorry for the guy and bought him a drink to mend for my rudeness.
this is the bratty part about myself that i want to change....
anyways i will stop her b/c my letter is getting long....any advice or awareness issues that i need to be aware of please post. i would be most grateful!